Well, as I have mentioned in some posts, I have decided to get some therapy for myself. My appointment is in an hour and a half, I am nervous! I have been ranting for years that we all (in our family) need some therapy. When DH and ex first divorced the SK's were in therapy and I insisted that they stop. I still think I was right. It was only serving to tell the SK's that divorce was a tragedy and it was OK to act out becuse of it. BM picked the therapist and was dictating to the councelor what the SK's issues were and in her narcissistc fashion, manipulating the Dr. It was a great fuel source for BM.
I am now hoping I can learn to deal with BM in a civil manner and maybe we can all attend a few sessions. The SK's and DH are not very good at dealing with her either.
Wish me luck! : )
Wicked, I had my first
Wicked, I had my first session last week and am looking forward to my 2nd this Thursday. I found someone who is also in a blended family herself so she definitely knows what she is talking about. I feel so good about this - it's like a weight has been lifted off of me and I have only been to 1 session.
OK, it was great. I too
OK, it was great. I too feel better after just one visit. I did not mention earlier that the councelor I choose to go to was the one DH and ex were seeing when they divorced. I was nervous about that but it saved a lot of time having to explain a few things.
That's great - I'm so glad
That's great - I'm so glad you had a positive experience as well. I know that I was very nervous and intimidated by the whole process, I had never gone to any type of counselor before but she put me at ease right away and was sop easy to talk to everything just started to pur out.
Me too! I'm not sure if it
Me too!
I'm not sure if it counts as dh goes with me, but I have found it the best thing for us right now. I wondered how it went for serendipity, and now I know.
DH went to this very same
DH went to this very same councelor with the ex at the end of their marriage. DH started going to him in hopes of getting the ex there for some help of her own. DH said he is interested in going again, with me, but right I am going to try and find myself before we go at this as a team. Later we intend to go together to work on dealing with ex and SK's as a united front.
I'm not sure if it is fortunate or unfortunate that really the only mojor problem we have is with the ex and SK's. I hope the councelor doesn't unearth anything new. LOL
I went myself during the custody case
to my own therapist a few visits. Now I continue to go occasionally to see SD's shrink (she goes back alone most of the time now, and then every few visits I go back alone to check in with the Dr.)
I just found out that my local chapter or NAMI is finally putting together a parents of children with mental illness class. I've been on that list for months waiting for them to get enough parents together.
I am all about trying to figure out the best way to relate to challenging people I care about!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
THAT'S IT!
Well said...
I am all about trying to figure out the best way to relate to challenging people I care about!
I have my next session
I have my next session tomorrow and can't wait. I really think that everyone in this type of situation should get some counseling - relationships are hard enough under "normal" circumstances - add to the equation some skids and a BM and you can be coming into one hell of a sh**storm....
SerendipitySM
How was your Thursday? Any break throughs?
Hey there - no real
Hey there - no real breakthroughs - she re-iterated a lot of things I already knew, but it really helped getting everything out. She gave me the validation that I needed in regards to certain issues and is helping me convey them to my fiancee.
I am going to go every two
I am going to go every two weeks. My councelor gave me homework. I am supposed to look up "boundaries". I have looked up some stuff printed it out, but have not had the time to read it yet. To many people infringing on my boundaries so I can't sit down and read. LOL
Communication is the key. I hope you can start communicating effectivley to your fiance. Is he a talker or does he clam up when you start talking?
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