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Just when I thought I had her...

rosie33's picture

So I have had to deal with the crazy BM/ex-wife for the last 3 years and since April I have really been pressing the issue with the cops as far as her harassing me and my children. The state police instructed me back in April to send her a certified letter telling her not to contact me or my kids through any means and also not to text my boyfriends phone calling me or my children names. She signed for it. Well since April she has continued to text him consistently and use racial slurs towards me and my kids and also threaten to hurt me physically. In August, I was told I had enough to press harassment charges. The trooper told me I'd get my papers in the mail. I waited and waited and nothing. Last week, she went off in a tangent because she found out I took their youngest to soccer practice and had gotten some papers in regards to the team. I gave them to my boyfriend to give to her, which we did by sending them with the boys on the drop off day. Apparently she didn't look in the bag. Either way, she went off about how I'm not his mother and shouldn't be in her kids business and next time I'm at one of the practices or games and he's not with me, shes going to tell me to leave…blah blah blah. My boyfriend told her to get over it, I'm going to be in their lives regardless and good luck telling me to leave a public place especially since we already have pending charges. She responded by saying, "Oh, didn't the police tell you they dropped the charges?" Needless to say I was FURIOUS! I went right into the station and asked to speak to a supervisor. After an hour of back n forth he basically told me that there is nothing I can do, my certified letter doesn't mean shit. I can't tell someone not to talk to a third party about me and since she's only "saying" shes going to hurt me and hasn't done so, I can't do anything about that either. AWESOME! The supervisor even had the nerve to ask me, do you read all his texts??? Um, he tells me because we thought this whole time we had a case because 4 of your state troopers told me I did!!!! Asshole. Ugh. How frustrating! I'm so over our police department and once again she's laughing at us. I told him, we are going to end up in a physical altercation and it's going to be in front of children (because thats the only time we see each other) and don't you dare try to press any charges on me! Thankfully, we have a court date on the 27th because we are re-doing custody and we will now have to specifically put in it that she is not to ask, discuss or name-call my boyfriend, myself and my kids. It sucks thought because if she continues to do it, we have to spend more money filing contempt charges and paying our lawyer to do so! Sometimes the system just baffles me.

On a happier note, she used to be an RN until she got fired from the hospital because she was stealing pills and now I'm told she put in an application to be a waitress. I had to chuckle because when I first got together with her ex she used to make fun of me because I was a waitress and she'd always say I would never be anything but a 30 year old smelly waitress! I now have an awesome office job and she's applying to be a waitress! Karma is coming for her and I hope shes strapped in, gonna be a loooong ride!

Smomof3's picture

Just keep documenting. You can't do anything about it, but I'd let her hit me or something. Then he'll have the kids and you can press charges against her.

Smomof3's picture

Just keep documenting. You can't do anything about it, but I'd let her hit me or something. Then he'll have the kids and you can press charges against her.

Orange County Ca's picture

She's a drug user so don't expect logic to prevail.
Having a Family Court order telling her to not contact you at least gives you something to point at if she continues to harass you. But you are right the police is helpless in these situations.

By the way threats are the definiton of "assault" and if you feel threatened especially if she is physically present you can file a report at the station. It should result in at least a visit.

As for the texts I'd tell Daddy to simply not tell you about their content. Really its not as if they become public information. She's going to say to her friends whatever she wants anyway and you'll never know. The kids will figure out she's insane soon enough if not already. Why fret about what in the end is irrelevent?

rosie33's picture

You are absolutely right in not worrying about the texts and for years I didn't. I was even explaining to the supervisor that I can deal with her calling me names and what not but when it was turned to my children is when it became a problem. Especially when she was walking behind us at soccer games calling my 13 year old son a f'n pervert. She's been calling him all sorts of names because he hit her youngest son in the balls one time and she went to the police saying it was inappropriate and we were all investigated and everything dropped. Since then she's been on a roll, that's why I initally went to the police, but like you said, nothing can be done and now that someone has officially told me that and Im not sitting her thinking I can use everything against her, I won't worry about it. They completely lead me on, had they told me this from the door things would be different. My boys are 13 and 15, they know exactly how crazy she is too. I guess we will wait and see what she does when we are at another soccer game. She has been told by 4 different officers to not talk to me or my kids…although she normally cant see straight when she gets in a mood.

my.kids.mom's picture

Any time you know you will be dealing with her, have your cell phone recording everything, especially if you are not around another adult witness. If something goes down, you want back up. Do you not have a text of her threatening you? In our state a voice mail is not just assault, it's considered terrorism, and I'm thinking a text is just as much proof. Just don't know if it has to go directly to you or not. My friend's father was prosecuted for a vm and in this case, the vm was justified, but he wasn't too bright telling him what he would do "if" LOL

rosie33's picture

We have everything saved in text form, even took screen shots and have them all printed out. The texts are always to my bf's phone, thats why the cop said they can't do anything. Even though he is my bf, he's still a third party and they won't do anything about it. Lovely. He said it has to be directly to me. There is a Saturday coming up where I have to take both boys to their soccer games and he will be working so I'll be by myself, luckily I know a parent on one of the teams so I'll be sitting with them but you better believe I'll also have my cell handy!