I know that feeling, I am so sorry. SS16 will have to live with it now.

I know exactly what you are dealing with. My SO son (at the time was 17) wanted this crazy big tattoo on his arm. SO told him no because it could mess up his chances of getting the Air Force, which is son really wanted to join. Naturally, according to his son, SO didn't know what he was talking about and when the boy turned 18 he got the tattoo and guess what? The Air Force measured the tattoo and refused to allow him to join.

SO daughter (15 at the time) wanted her ears gauged. SO told her NO WAY and an argument starts. I tried to explain to the little princess that when she got older she would regret this and would need a plastic surgeon to repair her ears. SO tried to expain that the professional world does not accept this. She told me I didn't know what I was talking about because "many" of her friends had their ears gauged and all you have to do is let the holes close up. She went on to say that she knows many professional people who have their ears gauged. My SO asked her who do you know that is a profecssional with their ears gauged? She said "Sarah" the woman who cuts my hair. May be in that field its acceptable, but that depends on the salon. I go to an upscale salon and the guy who does my hair said gauged ears are not allowed and she would not be hired. Now, I should point out that SO daughter does not want to do hair and wants to be a vet. Again, may be it is acceptable in that field, I don't know. Why take the chance? Anyway, now little princess is almost 17 and BM has allowed her ears to be gauged.

I think BM allows this kind of stuff just to piss off my SO. My attitude is both kids will now have to deal with the fallout from their (and BMs) decisions.

If bm did this we would be in our attorneys office so fast it would make your headspin - I'll take inability to make good decisions regarding child for $500 Alex.

Yeah. We tried to stop this garbage the FIRST time BM played BFF instead of mom and took SD (then 13) to get an "industrial" piercing. SD successfully hid it from DH and I for about a month, then broke down crying to us because it was infected. Removed the posts, infection cleared, but kelloids formed in four different spots. Cost us over $300 to have them lanced off at the doctor.

BM's response when we sent her the bill for her to pay her half? "SD wanted the piercing. Said she could take care of it. Perhaps this could be a teachable moment?" Did BM pay her half for the surgery? Hell NO!! Because that would be the responsible thing to do. WE (you know, the ones that said NO WAY to body piercings?) had to cough up the cash to pay the MD.

Next up....SD refuses to come visit for almost nine months. Cited her dad being "mean" as the reason. Thanks to Facebook, we already knew the real reason was because she was scared to show daddy her new lip piercing. Awesome, BM!! I'm sure if BM had to pay the MD for the first botched piercing, any subsequent piercings would have been a no-go. But since MOTY got away scot-free, why not have more mother-daughter bonding time over an autoclave? Good times, y'all!!

Fast forward a year...SD (at this point 16) moves in with us. Starts spouting off about wanting her ears gauged (which IMO is the ugliest crap on Earth), and the answer from us is a resounding NO. Not just no, but HELL NO. For all the same reasons stated above: less job opportunities, it's not professional, she's an extension of us, no one really knows what they want PERMANENTLY affixed to their body at this age, etc etc, ad naseum.

SD gets in trouble for a fairly minor infraction at our house, and faces a consequence of grounding for two days. Of course then she wants to run back to BM's. We learn from FB that THREE days after leaving our home, BM has signed waivers for SD (still a minor) to get both ears gauged AND a ring through her septum. WTF. She looks HORRIBLE.

I guess maybe the piercings make it easier for BM to keep SD under control though...all she needs is a really strong magnet and that kid won't be going anywhere.

People are going to what they want to do, but there are REASONS that it is not legal for a child to have their body permanenly modified. Nearly every person I know regrets their first tattoos or piercings. The world becomes a completely different place when one leaves high school. BM's (or BD's) that buckle under the pressure of the teen's pleading (or worse, allow the child to act impulsively based on what's "cool" at the moment, so the parent themselves can look "cool") are doing their kid a grave disservice. Our BM is too concerned about being favored over DH and I to set limits, and now her child looks like a farm animal.