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What do you have planned for Father's Day??Submitted by frustratedinMA on Thu, 06/12/2008 - 12:17pm.We have the skids this weekend. Due to my dh usually being away on Father's Day (thanks Military) this will be the first time since I have been w/him that he will have them. I have tossed around a lot of ideas in my head, but I guess I wanted to hear what other people plan, see if I can get better ideas! |
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Going fishing
We are not doing that this year, as husband has chosen to spend Father's Day with SD15 instead of me and BDs 4 and 2 (long story). But the one thing he always brings up that he wants to do on Father's Day is go fishing.
Are you freakin kidding me
Are you freakin kidding me Elizabeth??? He isnt spending it w/you and your kids??? I guess he feels more like a dad to sd 15. I am so sorry!!
What a crock of sh*t.
Elizabeth, you know what I
Elizabeth, you know what I would do - go fishing alone with your kids on his birthday or on Christmas or something and be sure to leave him and his beloved D out - he'll get the hint real fast...
Actually Serendipity has a
Actually Serendipity has a GREAT IDEA!!! you and BDs go fishing THIS father's day..
What a giant jerk. Sorry Elizabeth.. I actually shed a couple of tears for you, and shared this w/my dh... he was suprised as well.
I have shed more than a couple of tears
over the whole situation, but...
I don't think it started out to exclude BDs, that's just how it has ended up. He has a friend who is competing in a triathlon, I believe. It is about 90 miles away and starts at 6 am on Father's Day. So he plans to drive there Saturday afternoon, camp out, then come back Sunday afternoon.
Of course he plans to take SD15 with him because she will be here. But BDs 4 and 2 will stay with me. I am just frustrated/sad for them. I haven't made a big deal at all about Father's Day with them because I don't want them to figure out he's not there with them. He'll probably be back about 3 pm (while they are napping). So they will see him from 4 pm until bedtime at 9 pm. It's not like they won't see him at all.
But I am also trying to ascertain if he has to take SD back to meet BM that evening. If so, they won't get to see him much at all as it's an hour drive.
Sometimes I just don't understand his priorities. I can't imagine being a bioparent who deliberately chooses a fun activity over spending Father's Day with ALL his children.
another possibility
A few months ago I wrote about how DH had chosen to take SD to his company race event rather than me and my kids. I was very upset about it and finally told him I really wanted to go too. Here he had figured that I would HATE going to a small town race track so he thought he would just take SD and have some rare father daughter time. When he heard I wanted to go he immediately changed his plans saying, "Well OF COURSE I would rather spend an evening doing anything with you!"
I'm wondering if your DH is trying to do you a favor by taking SD so you aren't stuck with her all day.
Oh- and some people view Father's Day and Mother's Day as their special day, not a family day. My sister spends Mother's Day all alone every year, or does something with another mom. She says, "It's a day to celebrate me and this is how I choose to do it." Her kids are fine with that, and feel she deserves some time to herself. So perhaps DH is just not on the same page with it being a family day, and he thought you would rather he take SD with him than be stuck with her all day yourself.
I'm sorry that you and your daughters are excluded though. I always think men are a little deft- they are the first to admit they can't read our minds when we are mad, but also keep flippin' trying to do it all the time expecting us to be thrilled at their often misguided attempts!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
We have time for a long story
I had truly hoped that things would get better once the princess moved out. What happened.
My DH had a eye opener about putting the skids before me. He came to the realization that he could loose me & that I am a treasure ( his words ) and that he needed to make me top priority.
We shall see how that works out. I reminded him that no matter what they will always love their mom best and no matter how many fun things we do or $$$ we spend they are her babies. ( The almost 11 y/o sits on her lap in public & sleeps with his baby blanket & she thinks this is okay) In the words of Norman Bates... A boys best friend is his mother.
My dad says don't panic till the bitch buys a motel.
I agree, we always have time
I agree, we always have time for a long story!!! I just didnt want to pry. lol...
I agree sweetthing, I would have thought it would have gotten better w/the princess being at her mom's.
Day to day things have been better
Problem is, with husband seeing less of SD he can rationalize/forget her negative behavior. And, with not seeing her so much, he feels he has to be even nicer to her. Know what I mean?
I'm so ticked for you
I'm so pissed I can't see straight right now after reading this! Unbelievable that he would do this to you and his two daughters. I think for Christmas I would pack myself and my two beautiful daughters up and go away for awhile. Maybe it will hit him then what he has a chance of losing. I would kick my DH swiftly in the buttocks if he did this. I'm truly sorry you ar ehaving to deal with this.
Einstein's definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
Probably nothing....I don't
Probably nothing....I don't think the girls will even get my fiancee a card or gift or anything - they never do. I know for sure that I am going to church!!
I got Dh a fruit basket from
I got Dh a fruit basket from Harry & David's.. they offered me 20% off his gift when I called to place my FIL's gift. I am also having the skids fill out a questionairre about their dad. I had them do this when they were 6.. and I think him being able to compare them will be a hoot. Some of their answers were hilarious!!
I was also considering having them fill out this same questionaire for their step dad who does spend every day w/them. While BM pretends like I dont exist, I cant honestly pretend like this man doesnt help out w/my skids, and therefore doesnt deserve to be acknowledged.
We're BBQing
My DH's brother is working on Father's Day, so his family is getting together for a big BBQ at MIL & FIL's house on Saturday afternoon. The boys (DH & BIL) are grilling ribs for their dad and then we'll do a family exchange of gifts & cards. On Sunday, SD8 & I will make DH breakfast and we'll have dinner w my extended family. I took her out shopping for a gift for him last night and she's making a card and another little present at school.
BBQing sounds nice. I had
BBQing sounds nice.
I had asked my dh if he wanted to take the skids to a local amusement park, as they are having a father's day special where he gets in free.
As I am going through a painful time right now, he said he would rather I be comfortable, rather than take the skids to an amusement park. He would rather we just hang in and is concerned about my needs. That made me cry... a lot.
I still want to make the day special for him, even if I am not in a good place.
Why are you not in a good place?
Is something wrong?
Not much...
...Because i have to work, so its pretty much going to be a morning thing I'll make breakfast give him his new grill, and go to work since i have to work 1130-8... yuck!!
Then probably come home let him use his grill and make us some dinner!!
Not quite sure
However after Mothers Day I am NOT getting my husband a damned thing from the kids.
Monday night we had it out over a few things, he told me he was pissed off at me for making him return the mothers ring he & the skids picked out. ( It was hidiously ugly & cost $300.00 & I had just learned of our $1780 escrow shortage) When we were fighting he said I offered to get you something else & I said no you didn't. I told him to take the $100 gift card ( I had wanted him to use in the first place) from our credit card points & get me this Ruby ring I liked. ( Not some monstosity that the skids liked & I would NEVER wear) He then confessed that he had been pissed & had decided to punish me. THANKS, it was my first mothers day ( My two [revious years as a step mom never amounted in anything) and this is a memory I will have forever.
After 2 days of fighting the light has come on for him, but he is Not getting a present. In fact unless the kids bring it up I am not taking them shopping for a card.
We will probably do something fun on Saturday ( but that is partially because BM is trying to dictate our weekend because both kids coaches decided to throw in extra baseball practices. This would be SS 10's 4th this week)but he has broken my heart & ruined my mothers day & I will never forget or forgive him.
Sorry I took over, it has been a heck of a week. I was even looking at apartments online.
oh no. I know what its like
oh no. I know what its like to look online for another place to live. I was there just 4 short weeks ago after the bm's explosion. Actually started looking at condos.
I cant believe that he wanted to punish you.. and for what?? being fiscally responsible!?!?!? that is just nuts.
Also, if it was hideous, despite what the skids wanted, he should have vetoed.. Really what he should have done was select a couple of items HE knew you would like and then let the skids chose from those couple of items.. NOT let them loose on a jewlery store w/some potentially hideous items. Gody (sp?) is not my style either. I like tasteful.
Hang in there
Let's see I was outside Best
Let's see I was outside Best Buy this morning at 5am to spend 5 hours waiting in line for the store to open to make sure I could get my H the PS3 he wants so bad (I was first in line). So I am sure there will be lots of video games this weekend. H works on Sunday so I plan on taking SS to my parents house to give my dad his gift, and then I plan on coming home cooking something H likes for dinner, give him the other gifts from SS (as if $600 wasn't enough to spend already). Then enjoy the yummy ice cream cake. (I have been craving ice cream a lot lately).
Wow.. arent you nice,
Wow.. arent you nice, standing outside best buy for a ps3!!
I did this for a WII not to long ago. Its crazy.
I'm CLUELESS...I have no Idea what Lis' &the kids have planned..
I'm CLUELESS...I have no Idea what Lis' &the kids have planned, for Me or the BFs. I do know that Lis' is making Me something, but I don't know what...Neither Her or The Kids have said anything about Their Plans for the BFs either. I am debating asking My Mother to drive Me to Syracuse(2 hrs away) to pick My BS up, since My Ex isn't allowed to drive more than 15 mins. (Medical Reasons) or She'd bring Him to See Me...
I'll probably call my Father, but My Dad and Grampa are at the Big Campfire In The Sky, telling the Old Stories, Jokes, etc.
Mommy Dearest will probably say something about doing whatever, for Me,My Uncle,Paul, and My BIL, Rick, at the last minute, if at all, assuming They remember Me...
Steve
Kids are the Best and Worst Things We can do to Ourselves. When We have nothing else worth living for, We'll go on, for Them, but Oh How We Miss Our Freedom...LOL
steve
whatever u do...have a great dads day. u deserve it.
ditto to all the other fantastic dads on here...we all luv ya!
Getting even!!
I can't say what that is just yet because Dh might see this comment. I'll let you all know tomorrow!
Dawn
Gettin even: update
I basically did for Dh exactly what he did for me for Mother's Day. I know, I'm not really a mother but I would have appreciated at least a thank you card from him. Instead he brought home a potted plant the Fri. before Mother's Day. He didn't say anything. Just here. So I wasn't sure if it was for our anniversary that he missed a few days before or what. I found out later that it was for Mother's Day. So I got Dh a potted plant for Father's Day. Also, ss was at his mother's house for the whole week before Father's Day. Ss never asked me to get something for him to get Dh. Ss also didn't even say happy Father's Day to Dh until the last min., like it was a chore, even though Dh was helping ss pack for Boy Scout camp.
I asked ss later about why he treated his dad so crappy and he said that he bought a gift but left it at his mom's house. I asked him why he didn't say that and he said he forgot, which I don't believe. Ss can be soooo frustrating, most of the time.
Anyway, that's it in a nutshell.
Dawn
I actually had a pretty Good Father's Day...
I actually had a pretty Good Father's Day, I woke up to Kids Knocking on the door(NOT BEATING IT DOWN, SCREAMING...)Lis and I Cuddled for a bit then dragged downstairs, made Coffe/Tea etc. Lis and The Kids gave Me a Carved Rock, with My Tat,a Cross, and a Bible Verse on It, went to Church, came home, My Back was Hurting, so I Layed on The Couch, while Lis' made Macaroni salad (No Egg in half for Me) and Ambrosia.
Went to My Sister's, had Pizza and wings, salads, etc. and went swimming with Two of Our Kids, and My Sister's two, etc.
Picked up two of the other Kids from Their BF's, ( I catnapped most of the way, there and back, came home chased Kids through Bedtime Routine, and passed out on the Couch, Cuddling. It was Mostly Nice and Peaceful, Which I Enjoyed, Immensely ! I think I had to Yell at Kids twice, which is usuallly 10-15 min.s worth, not All Day.
THANK YOU HONEY AND LITTLE PEOPLE, FOR A NICE DAY!!!
I Hope Everybody Else's plans came out as Nice as My Day Was, including the Vengance Wreaking by a few People!
(Totally Justified Payback for Moter's Day,Birthdays, etc. )
Steve
Kids are the Best and Worst Things We can do to Ourselves. When We have nothing else worth living for, We'll go on, for Them, but Oh How We Miss Our Freedom...LOL
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