Step Talk

That's it...I've had it! There are going to be some major changes made...not with SK's, not with DH but with ME.

I have been p.o'd for a number of days at the news that idiot BM wants to take us to mediation. It has affected me so much I wasn't sleeping and I'm pregnant. Feeling like this has no positive outcome.

So yesterday I changed my tune. I vowed to myself to not get stressed out about BM and her crap...because in the end my DH is 7000% smarter than her in every imaginable way. Each time she has tried some stupid legal or personal scheme it backfired on her - and in the end so did this one. He found in their divorce agreement where it states she cannot go to mediation for any other matter other than one that is outlined in the agreement - her issues are non-issues so he served that info to her on a platter and she can stew over that now. There is nothing, absolutely nothing she can do. Not only THAT but we got an extra night with the kids (an oversight on our part in the agreeement) AND a few other things that won't work out in her favour that we still have to look at. God you'd think she'd learn already? Don't mess with my DH...I wouldn't

But today even though this is good for us and we're winning the war so to speak as usual, I just want to be happy and do things with the skids. I don't want to feel resentful towards them (which I do sometimes even though I know it's not their fault at all!) so I braided SD's hair before school for her, picked out some nice earrings that she was asking to wear and talked with them longer & enjoyed it.

I am not going to be a slave to my emotions every time this unstable sad woman does something that irritates me. In the end she never wins, so why bother worrying? My DH can handle his own battles.

But really....it must suck to be THAT jealous - my friends and family have always told me she was really jealous of me but I couldn't see it. She wouldn't want to let on and maybe I was naive. Now I do, after a string of things that have happened since the beginning of my pregnancy, the copying everything I do with the skids, the causing trouble for no apparant reason, etc. If I were in her shoes I wouldn't be jealous, I'd be severely remorseful - for leaving my husband for his friend, for cheating, for lying, for destroying my children's home, physically abusing my kids because I was stressed. I just think I would be on the brink of suicide - but not jealous. She's got her man, her 'new better life' which in reality really sucks! She had everything - a great husband & father to her kids who was loyal to her in every way, a nice home, never had to lift a finger, friends, family, and at least some of her beauty. Now...she's with a guy that is a serial cheater, lives in a crappy house in a really bad part of town, has to work so much she can't see her kids to make ends meet, lost all her friends she lied to, her own family doesn't want to be around her including her own mother, and has aged at least 20 years in only 4 yrs. I see what my friends mean but if that were me I'd be a mess. I guess I could feel sorry for her and I guess if she wasn't so close to home I would - if she was a stranger. But I don't. She deserves it for all the pain she caused to so many people. So let her feel miserable, cause trouble, be jealous, stew in her own bath of denied self-hatred. It's only a matter of time before narcissists crumble too. I think if she came to my house and apologized to not only myself but my husband for everything my heart would feel a little better....but hell hasn't frozen over yet.

Life is mine for the taking. I am loyal, I don't lie or cheat, I have my youth & beauty, I'm not ugly inside and out, I have a ton of friends and my family loves me and we're having a baby! Life is too short and I don't want to waste it like she has.

Carpe diem!