For those of you who have been through it and your skids are now out of the house, what have you learned? Are the teenage years the worst? Does it get easier the older they get ? Does their relationship change with the BMs or BFs and of course, with you? How were SDs teenage years w BM?
We have exact 50/50 custody and as my SDs get older, things are changing all the time. My DH and I also have 2 little ones, so I am just trying to get your experiences and learn. I know everyone's experiences will be different, but I guess if I see the same thing over and over again I can assume some things are just common.
Kind of worried about the teenage years with SDs. Especially since BM is the "friend mom" and I'm gonna have to be the responsible one.
Oh, I came into SD's life
Oh, I came into SD's life when she was 11 thinking the pre-teen years were difficult. She's 14 now and ten times worse!
And her mom is the friend type too. Feels guilty over causing the divorce, I imagine, but either way, mom is queen bee and she does no wrong in SD's eyes. Mom lets her come and go as she pleases, eat whatever she wants, have her boyfriend over unsupervised (which resulted in them having sex at the age of 13 with condoms found in mom's bedroom!) etc.
Our house isn't chock full of rules, but yeah, she doesn't have the same freedoms and does have responsibilities to tend to, so she just decided a couple months ago that mom's place is SOOOO much better and basically moved in with mom full time.
I did (and continue to do) the happy dance that she's gone but I know it's killing my husband that his daughter is so damn selfish and doesn't want anything to do with him now.
Good luck. I feel for you!
"Behind every bitch is a woman who got tired of being broken"
"Wine is to women like duct tape is to men - it fixes everything"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"Behind every bitch is a woman who got tired of being broken"
"Wine is to women like duct tape is to men - it fixes everything"
Thanks guys! What I meant
Thanks guys! What I meant what that our household will have to be "the responsible one", but that includes me and after reading I guess I do bite off more than I can chew with the girls.
It's a lose lose for me bc I try to make them feel equal at our house just as much as BMs house, yet whenever I step down and leave it completely to BM bc they are her kids, she complains that she is doing everything. Which is totally untrue, in fact her mother lives with her and basically raises her children for her. Wish I had a live in nanny for my little ones!!
I am lucky, DH doesn't take any crap and won't let them act like little brats. He definitely disciplines them and is a great father. HOWEVER, teenage girls are what they are. And their BM is not a good role model in my opinion, but she is their mother. Can't really do anything about that. I'd be less worried if the BM was on the same page as we are.
I actually enjoyed the teens
I actually enjoyed the teens years the most. I loved watching them morph into men, they are 18 and 19 now. I really had no problems with them. But I have BOYS, and that makes a difference.
My husband is the custodial parent and always has been. Their relationship with their egg donor is virtually non-existent. The older one refuses to even speak to her. The younger one speaks to her and maybe sees her once a year during the HOlidays. It's sad.
Keep calm and carry on...