Well DH got back this weekend from camping and he seemed off. He didn't look at me much and SD's DH was one of the campers (1 of 4). I had hoped in a group setting that the issues we have with SD wouldn't be brought up but apparently they were. I could tell just by looking at DH - after 20 years you can almost read your DH's mind. Step-SIL couldn't even look me in the eye. Step-SIL (ssil) said to DH just before he left the cottage - so are you going to be around soon? Meaning back in the city- at our house - around the corner from SD. DH said no - I don't think I am ever going back. I asked DH if he spoke to SSIL about our problems and he said yes! I didn't react, but was once again very hurt by his lack of boundaries etc. I truly feel this is the end and I feel sick to my stomach. I hardly slept last night and had a nightmare about DH trying to kill me or immobolize me with a needle. It was horrifying and very upsetting. I cannot get myself up to go to work - i am so drained and feel like nothing will ever be good. I worry about finances too - and I know DH will not make financial division of assets easy. It will be a long ugly battle. 
she who gets the to the
she who gets the to the shark lawyers first will win
another trick is for you to get to every lawyer first in a free visit and tell them the dicorce story .. Once you do that they are not ethically able to take your husbands case as its a conflict of interest for 30 while you decied what your gonna do .. nope you dont tell them your lawyer shopping you just do this and slow the old man down .. .. you can roll him and win that way .. sorry but sometimes thats excatly what it will take now .. Sorry lady .. this isnt gonna be easy but you gotta protect yourself and your best interests as well
Don't go there darlin'
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I agree with Foxie. It's
I agree with Foxie. It's time to play smart. If you feel the end is imminent, do not fight with him. Get your ducks in a row. Get referrals for good divorce attorneys, make some appointments and get in there to discuss what your options are. You'll feel better when you know what is ahead of you. Take paystubs, tax returns for the past 3 years, debt, mortgage, assets, property, etc. with you. It's fairly cut and dry.
Then, if he winds up threatening you with divorce or tells you what you'll get, you can rest easy knowing that he's blowing smoke. My friend is going through the process. When she told her husband what she was going to get, he blew a gasket. Said over his dead body would she get half of everything, including his 401k. She was calm. He made an appt. with an attorney and learned what she said was right.
I'm sad for you. Sad that your DH can't keep a camping trip about being a camping trip, and shut his mouth to people who are obviously bias to your SD. My DH has some great friends, all men. This is by no accident. He used to confide in his family, and he knows he grew the problem to be out of control. My DH meets with his friends often, and they support each other. I wish more husbands would do this. And by the way, the theme of these men is family, and in their depiction of families, the wife IS loved like Jesus loves the church. No exceptions for step-bs. Their feedback is way different than what DH would hear from his family... which was always so simple... "dump the bitch". Oh yeah, that would have made him so happy. He would have committed suicide if he had to go through another divorce and lose 2 more kids, I have no doubt. He could not handle that grief twice.
"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!" - Dr. Suess
I too have had bad dreams, in
I too have had bad dreams, in mine, the sds came and ousted me out of my house, what an icky feeling. While I didn't want to be divorced I didn't want to wake up with that icky feeling anymore and have it stay with me and be upset. Personally, I feel my dreams were there to keep pushing me to the action I needed to take for me as I seldom have a dream that I remember. Like even my subconsious was working in me to not deny my feelings and needs if that makes any sense. When things changed in my household for the better my dreams stopped. In whatever happens, you sound like you are moving foward to where they can stop for you as well. Hugssss
What others say and do are a reflection of them, not of you.
Blood often wins out. Best
Blood often wins out. Best of luck in your shark hunting.
So sorry things have gotten
So sorry things have gotten so bad that you are having dreams that your husband is trying to kill you!
It sounds like the trust and respect in the marriage is gone. I am sure this is very painful for you, but as others have said, you need to protect yourself, and get out there and do what you need to do to get the upper hand.
If your husband has no boundaries now, he won't in a divorce either - all is fair to win!
Keep the faith!