Step Talk

Try to think "Yes, its going to be a great weekend", "Yes, it's going to be great.... I won't let BM and the kids have the power....

Take the way out of the house if you need it this weekend.

Prayers going your way!!

i completely understand how u feel, particularly w respect to having a baby in the future...BM here is a nutjob too and im really afraid of what will happen once we have a baby. i swear, if she does or says anything about MY child, i will flip out too! im rite w ya! all i can say is that it al depends on how our DHs handle it all, and im confident mine will do whats best for US, and i hope u feel the same! hopefully it wont be as bad as we know it could be!
in the meantime, do whatever u need to get thru the weekend, uncluding coming here for support!

I know, easier said than done. BM isn't going to change but if you can change your reaction to her then she may get easier to deal with over time. I've been where you are and it's so hard. But I'm where you are right now in terms of trying to get pregnant. It is really important that you learn relaxing techniques now so you can get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy.

Ok, BM says you don't count and she may say something about your future kid...WHO CARES? Who is she to you? You don't like her and you shouldn't - but you need to be indifferent. Also try hard not to let your dislike for her rub off on your stepkids. You deserve happiness with your DH - stay out of the phone calls, leave the room, anything. But focus more on YOU and less on BM and Steps. BM is trying to get you upset and engage you (like the phone call the other night) and you are letting her! You need to ignore her.

This fertility stuff is a nightmare in of itself. Focus your mind on being pregnant and things like that - then you will be! Happy things - Hang in there

I know how you feel...I was so scared about what BM would say about our baby, and I still am. When she tried to pull that "you care more about that tramp and her baby than you do about me and OUR son!" I thought I would flip. But once she got over the initial shock, she hasn't said much else about it...and I realized that it doesn't really matter what she says anyway. She hates me, she hates everything that I have and do and say, she feels like I stole her life away from her...naturally she's going to be jealous and hostile toward my child. Oh well, her loss!

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

I just at a loss. I wish I could pretend all this didnt happen.. but in reality its very hard.

DH just called and he is going in to talk to her right now. He is there early to get the skids and is going to have a talk to her about what she said and did, and how it cant keep happening

She may very well say something about any offspring you may have. I know my BM did and she was mean and ugly. You are right... it is horrendously painful to hear someone say something ugly about your child. My husband isn't the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, but he told me to "consider the source" and he was right. She spewed all the venom she could at me because it made her feel better. Her life was so miserable that she could only get happy by hurting me. So I did what DH said and I considered the source. I saw that she must be awfully pathetic if the only joy she gets in life comes from trying to upset me. Viewed in that light, it's easier to let it roll off like water off a duck's back. She can't hurt me anymore because her opinion doesn't matter. At best, all she can do is be a minor irritation now. It took awhile, but I'm there. You can get there, too. Just let DH handle her. She is his cross to bear, not yours.

We had to eventually stop asking for the kids during the holidays. He's supposed to have them every other holiday, but she always either cancels at the last minute or has left town with them when he goes to pick them up. Holidays for us were a nightmarish fight every year just getting her to agree to let us have them, then the big letdown when she cancelled at the last minute. We could've taken her back to court for contempt, but DH decided to just let it go. Our Christmas with the skids has been reduced to sending them each a gift card. Sucks that DH and skids miss out on sharing the holidays together, but much better for our peace of mind, our family and our whole holiday experience.

Try not to anticipate the worst. Try to just be matter-of-fact, business-as-usual with the skids this weekend. If you try to act like nothing has changed, then they are less like to act like anything has changed.

And if all else fails... BAIL!

♥ Georgia ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)

My skids have now surprised me.. They are w/my dh right now. They are in the car.. apparently he had a convo w/them.. called me to tell me he was in traffic..

The skids wanted to talk to me... they havent wanted to talk to me on the phone in a while.. they are still on the phone telling me all about school this week and stuff.. Its so cute.. and AMAZING..

Perhaps this weekend will be good!!!!

Yay!! I'm glad the weekend is getting off to a good start - hope it continues.