well after sleeping on the couch last night, I wake up tom my son playing in the living room. Well DW went to work, and sent me atext asking "what do you want me to do to make you happy." Well I had just woke up and told her that I need to clear my head. I have been asked this before, and I usually get it for a few weeks. I know that I will not get what I truly want, the stepkids love and her full support in allowing me to be the "man" of the house. So should I tell her that all I want is to be allowed to disengage from the stepkids, and that I am not in favor of helping to contribute to their rearing any longer? She wants us to be a family, but only in the sense that I give all to the stepkids and they in turn give nothing back. I really thought that it would be different 5 years ago.
I agree with skygoddess, just
I agree with skygoddess, just tell her you want to work on your marriage, be her husband, be a father to your son, and step back from the whole SD issue, let HER take care of it.
And please, remember that it's your home too and be honest with your wife, if she breaks the rules inside this house, then I am entitled to enforce them. Other than that, you can do what you want to do as a mom.
You really DON'T want boys sneaking into your house or on your property having sex.
******
My IPOD says you are full of bullshit!
currently working on a talk
currently working on a talk to let her know that I am stepping way back out of the sk's lives. Thank all of you for your support. Will let you know how it goes.
Some advice for the talk,
Some advice for the talk, because COMMUNICATION break down is a huge issue when you talk about stuff like this:
1. Don't say You did this, You did that, Your kids did this, Your kids did that.
Just say when situations occur like XYZ (SD sexting), and I'm concerned because of XYZ (her getting preggo, etc...) and you get upset with me it makes me feel like I'm the bad guy.
2. If she gets defensive, just stop the talk and say, I want to discuss this with love between us, no right and wrong, no winners and losers because we all lose if we can't come out of this feeling Better than we went in.
If you have a kindle or book reader, download a copy of Step Monster, or if you can get a hard copy of it before your talk, it would help to read it together. It's about how step parents feel in these situations.
Good luck man! Just remember do it with love for your wife and concern about what's going on in the family.
******
My IPOD says you are full of bullshit!