Some background: after suffering at the hands of an abusive 2nd husband for 8 long years, I was able to divorce him after catching him cheating. I had full custody of my daughter when I was with him up until the last 3 yrs. We moved around so much and she could never get settled or make friends, she decided to move in with her dad in Michigan. I understood. It killed me, but I understood and supported her.
I was able to make it on my own here in Colorado for a while and I met who is now my DH and we're happy. Daughter is 14 and happy to live in MI where all of her father's family, my family and her friends reside.
Michigan has a very poor economy as everyone knows and not very many jobs. Especially where DD lives. She even says she wants to move out of MI when she graduates high school in 4 yrs.
DH and his D14 are now estranged after several months and DH and I plan to move east from Colorado to Virginia, because we both want a fresh start in a place where we don't have family, kinda just have to rely on each other.
After telling my DD that we are thinking of moving to VA next year, at first she's thrilled because she loves it there (we used to live there) and plans to move there after graduation. Then she gets back to MI and decides after talking with my mother, that I should move back to MI and be there for her during her high school years.
Now I have them both trying to guilt-trip me into moving back to my home state JUST to be with my daughter until she graduates (which if we move there next year, would be 3 yrs) and THEN move to VA.
I'm torn. I don't think DH would go for it, although his first trip to MI over christmas last year he liked it. The whole point of picking up and moving is to have a fresh start for us, so I don't think he'd be open to going back to my old stomping grounds for a few years only to have to pick up and move again.
What are your thoughts? I'm torn. I do want to spend more time with my daughter, of course. But living in a state I don't really want to for just a few years, having to try and find us jobs and a place to stay and then do it all over again 3 yrs later?
Thanks for listening!