We were supposed to have the skids this past weekend. My dh called to arrange the pickup time, and was informed that BM had plans for her and the skids and he could either 1) get them after dinner on Sat. or 2) get them the following weekend, as a make up.
She starts telling him how she has committed the skids to an activity EVERY Saturday this August. He says that he will come see 1 or 2 of the activities. (This is where it starts to get weird... She is now talking very loudly into the phone, so loud that I can hear her verbatim from ACROSS THE ROOM!!!..) She then says to my DH, something about the gas prices, and how it better not affect her children, that if SOMEONE has a problem w/it, have her call me and I will set her straight!! I gave my dh time to respond to her, time to come to my rescue and be like WTF.. but he didnt (I have not spoken to the bm, either directly or indirectly, in OVER a year... I do not get out of the car on pick ups/drop offs if she is present.. I do not even LOOK at her) I then yell back toward the cell, WTF, stop accusing me of crap I dont do you dumb B*tch. Then I hear back.. you whore, you sl*t, you C. I am fuming. DH hangs up on her.
She calls back. Starts into it again. How DH CHOSE to move to where we live (an hour away from the skids) DH points out that no.. the US GOV'T (military) chose where he was going to live, he just asked to stay in the New England area FOR THE SKIDS. She then says something about the skids crying when we drop them off.. what is going on at our house.. (I am thinking.. ummm.. we do crap w/them.. like go to the park and stuff.. Duh..) DH then says, they are happy when they are here, I wouldnt know why they cry when they are w/you. She then gets angry and decides to pull me back into the insanity.. she says, well.. I dont know how SHE is spending THE money but.... I went off.. I yelled back.. I work a FT job, I go to work EVERY DAY of the week.. I make a decent salary and can spend it ANY WAY I like.. if you want money to spend GET A JOB like the rest of us you lazy @ss. (I should say she is using obsenities to refer to me as well).. He hangs up on her.
She calls back again (I believe the whole time she was looking for a fight.. why keep calling back???) She tells dh, if you need a place to stay, we have an extra bed, you can come stay w/us... WTF x 1000..... You have got to be kidding me, I yell. I then shouted, he is not married to you anymore, he does not need to seek protection from his wife, I am not you, I do NOT control who he calls, when he calls, I do NOT control his choices or decisions, I do NOT control his cell phone.. quick making me your damn scapegoat. She then tells dh how I dont count. I am NOTHING to her, her children, her family and I should be NOTHING to him. That I am a zero in her book. (surprisingly I did not respond to this one.. it just confirms that I am a second class citizen in all this.. but here.. lets use HER money for crap) DH hangs up again.
She calls back. At this point DH tells her to knock it off. he hung up again and put the cell on silence.
I couldnt go to sleep that night at all. I was extremely upset. I do not need to be upset as I am going through a costly fertility treatment and want it to work. I think she might get a bill from me if it doesnt do to stress. My dh asks me the next morning why I am so upset.
I light into him that you have no problems telling me off when you feel that I have done something wrong.. why cant you do it w/her. He explains that he was trying to defuse the situation.. I point out that he was defusing the situation to MY detrement.. That unless he corrects her, she will assume that her statements are TRUE. That he needs to set her straight. Had he done that up front, I would not have got involved in that call. That I have never done anything to her and that I do freakin count! I then said, if you dont set her straight.. SHE WILL COST YOU YOUR 2nd Marriage!! (I had been thinking how I could get out of this situation all night. I was devising an exist strategy, because I just cant spend my life tied to this sociopath)
He calls her. talks to the children, then asks her to go into a room away from the skids. He then says, I have a few things to say to you. I love my wife, she counts. She counts to me and to my children that love her. (she tries to intervene a couple of times.. I will note those as well) No you listen to me. I do not disrespect your dh, I do not make up crap about him, You need to give my wife the same respect!! Next, she is a professional. She works hard at her job, earns decent money and can spend her money any way she pleases. You are NOT to question how she spends HER money again. When gas hits $5/gallon, I, and I alone, have decided that visitation will be once a month. No, it has nothing to do w/the kind of car (see... the new car I bought really did tick her off) $5/gallon is $5/gallon no matter WHAT you drive. and Lastly, the ONLY reason that you and I are still speaking is because of those kids.. do NOT be disillusioned.. IF it werent for them, I would have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with you! and then he hung up.
Now.. I am sure she hung up on him at some point.. just not sure at which point. But I think she might have heard the general message. Live Frustrated alone!!
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