I am infuriated (so mad I dont even care if I spelled that right)!! SS7 got diagnosed with "adhd" in may (may 6th 2012 to be exact) and it is now August 10 2012 and this child has been on 5 medications!!!!! Now let me say to me that sounds like a bit much since he didn't start taking the meds until he got out of school. So he started his meds on may 28Th (that Monday after getting out of school on the 24th). So that's what like 8 weeks and meds have changed 5 times? He was started on strattera the dose was the lowest does possible. On it for about a week BM changed it cause "it wasn't working". needless to say this kept going all the time. She changed every dose within a 2 2.5 week period to where SS was taking 24(or 25 what ever the dosse is)mg a day the last time we had him (exactly 2 weeks ago and had just started that dose the weekend before so 3 weeks total on that dose). Now we get him and he has a completely different medication (kapvay) .1mg at night before bed that he has been on for a week. DH has told BM every time she has asked how a medication dose is working "he is doing ok but you have to give the medication a little longer to work I think." (He says that cause she always says "we will just up his meds" when we see her and she WORKS for SS's doctor who gives her samples since she says "I can't afford the medication" (yes she has insurance but she refuses to go to the pharmacy at the hospital like her insurance requires supposedly) and we have read up on strattera and everything says it takes 4-6 weeks to work AFTER REACHING TARGET DOSE.) Is this too may meds in such a short period? What would you suggest we do since telling BM what we think she just ups his medication and we have tried contacting the doctor but apparently he isn't getting the messages or she is trying to pull rant since she has custody and holds the insurance poloicy.
Help!!!!!! ANY PARENT WITH CHILD THAT HAS ADD/ADHD
Submitted by worried_stepmother on Fri, 08/10/2012 - 9:50pm
»
- worried_stepmother's blog
- Login or register to post comments
OMG thank u! I told DH "she
OMG thank u! I told DH "she is KILLING your son! I hate putting it that way but that is way too many meds in such a short time" I don't even think this doctor has seen him since the initial visit (begining of may) he is 6 and will be 7 in september but he has been EXTREMELY violent toward his 2 year old brother (my bioson) so much as to the point of physically hurting my son. Then when he gets in trouble for it he seeks out to make the day a hellacious day for everyone. We do what we can as far as punishments go but its getting to the point that he forgets simple things (example don't run in the house and with in literally 2 minutes he has forgot we said that) but before all the meds changing and all he would at least remember for a full day or more. I don't thin his primary care is specialized in ADHD/ADD (which I think is is ADD cause he is not and never has been hyper active) and just diagnosed him ADHD because the school told his mother he might be.
Every time I see the BM I am going to think of a slinky now...they are dull and boring but you love to push them down stairs just for fun.
We call our BM "Spawn of Satan" cause she had to be one of the devils kids to be that evil and vindictive.
You need to get ahold of his
You need to get ahold of his dr. <---This!
What BM is doing is abuse! SS's Dr. is a mandated reporter, and this really needs to be brought to his/her attention.
Teens: "What can we do; where can we go?" Go home; mow the lawn, wash the windows, learn to cook, get a job, visit the sick, study your lessons, and read a book. Your town does not owe you recreational facilities; your parents do not owe you fun.
Trying to do so. I think she
Trying to do so. I think she has something to do with us not being able to get intouch with him since she is a receptionist there and is SS's mother. I am sure they ask her and I feel that is morally wrong since we are concerned for the kid.
Every time I see the BM I am going to think of a slinky now...they are dull and boring but you love to push them down stairs just for fun.
We call our BM "Spawn of Satan" cause she had to be one of the devils kids to be that evil and vindictive.
I forgot to mention that she
I forgot to mention that she HAS NO MEDICAL TRAINING AND IS AN APPOINTMENT RECEPTIONIST at said doctor office. I am trained as a CMA and have never seen a child switch meds so much.
I feel for the kid and don't want him to suffer at his mothers stupidity.
Every time I see the BM I am going to think of a slinky now...they are dull and boring but you love to push them down stairs just for fun.
We call our BM "Spawn of Satan" cause she had to be one of the devils kids to be that evil and vindictive.
It does take a while to take
It does take a while to take effect and changing it that frequently isnt good. We were told it can take a few meds to find the right on for sd. However, we had six weeks to let it take effect before we went back, and we started to see changes --little ones at first--about three weeks in. After six weeks, the dosage was upped because it was working.
It seems like a conflict of interest for that doc to treat him. Is her a psychatrist? Imo, I really feel like they are the best to prescribe those kinds of meds. Any doc can prescribe meds, but does he really understand it.? It just seems like a bit much.
I would make sure dh talks with the doc. As his father, he has a right to his son's medical info, and he should be on board with the decisions being made (if there is joint custody). Bm in our situation just wants a quick fix with meds on several different situations, and dh didnt agree, and because the didnt agree, no meds were given. In this situation, dh weighed out the rewards vs the drawbacks, and he approached bm about it. Of course she was slow to respond because it wasnt her idea, but she eventually zgreed.
Do what is best for ss, not bm!!!
My thoughts exactly. She just
My thoughts exactly. She just keeps saying "well we will just up it" but doesnt say that the doctor has said to do so. Now since she ONLY getd samples I am hoping it is documeented cause if not it is he said she said and no proof to back up all the med changes so we would be screwed.
Every time I see the BM I am going to think of a slinky now...they are dull and boring but you love to push them down stairs just for fun.
We call our BM "Spawn of Satan" cause she had to be one of the devils kids to be that evil and vindictive.
Dh wad at initial doctor vist
Dh wad at initial doctor vist and said "i do not want him on,medication thst will make him a zombie where he walks around dead to the world. Actually I dont want him on meds at all." spawn (bm) "had to" fill out 2 serveys to dhs 1 which was my first red flag that something wasnt right. I have said since day one "his primary care doctor is not a good source u need a second opinion perferably of the certified in adhd or psychologist kind". But BM refuses to listen to us and will not allow us to get his insurance card to do so ourselves. :-/
Every time I see the BM I am going to think of a slinky now...they are dull and boring but you love to push them down stairs just for fun.
We call our BM "Spawn of Satan" cause she had to be one of the devils kids to be that evil and vindictive.
What is the custody
What is the custody agreement? Does she have the right to make sole medical decisions? I would double check the court order, as it may give insight. If it says you are supposed to have information, get it. Request the medical records, and see what is going on. If there are no records to confirm what the doc is doing, id retain an attorney.
Something about this feels very wrong. We had the primary doc do testing, but followed their recommendation to see a specialist. They are way more qualified to make med decisions, after all, you are dealing withmind altering medications!!!!
All it says is DH is to pay
All it says is DH is to pay half the medical. Does that mean anything other than $$$?
Every time I see the BM I am going to think of a slinky now...they are dull and boring but you love to push them down stairs just for fun.
We call our BM "Spawn of Satan" cause she had to be one of the devils kids to be that evil and vindictive.
Does it say she has sole
Does it say she has sole custody? If so, you may have opened the door with this to re evaluate the custody agreement. Dhs agreement says that they have 50/50 custody, and joint decision making. She goes through phases, wanting to be in complete control to absolutely wanting nothing to do with any decisions.
If i were you, id look for an attorney to at least get a consultation to figure out where to go from here.
She has cudtody we get
She has cudtody we get visitation. So I guess that means she.has sole custody. Cause we dont get him half the year it is just EOWD and 3 weeks of summer. This is so sad that I.am this.worried about a kid that is being told (by bm) that he doesnt have to listen to me etc.) If I could just turn the care off I would but I cant.
Every time I see the BM I am going to think of a slinky now...they are dull and boring but you love to push them down stairs just for fun.
We call our BM "Spawn of Satan" cause she had to be one of the devils kids to be that evil and vindictive.
I was diagnosed with ADD
I was diagnosed with ADD about fifteen years ago. From my experience, it wasn't so easy to get a diagnosis OR medication for it.
I went to a grief counselor after my aunt died, and after the second session the counselor asked me if I've ever been tested for ADD. I thought she was crazy, but I took the written test anyway. She told me I was in the 75% positive range for ADD and I was shocked.
She recommended a specialist, and after two more sessions of testing (written and computer) he told me I have ADD. I then had to see a psychiatrist who was qualified in treating ADD/ADHD and she prescribed the meds. She never changed or upped my meds for at least six weeks of being on one. I've tried four different meds at different doses over the years, and finally settled on one that works well for me. I still have to be re-evaluated (by law) every three months. The meds, by the way, don't turn one into a zombie- they help filter out distractions so I can concentrate, and that calms me down. How I wish I had been diagnosed before college! How different my life would have been.
I don't know what it's like in your state, but I wonder if your SS was ever "officially" diagnosed. Did you see any paperwork from a specialist? The whole changing/upping meds so quickly is highly suspect. And it's not likely that your DH has NO medical authority- go to a lawyer if you have to to gain access to SS's insurance and medical information- this is serious! Have your SS tested by a qualified medical specialist in ADD/ADHD- NOT SS's current doctor's office.
I think BM could be in a LOT of trouble 'testing' these drugs on SS without a solid diagnosis AND a valid prescription. The fact that she changes his meds and dosage so frequently tells me she's doing this on her own. You'd be wise to push for documentation for what BM is doing- and a second opinion.
Good luck!
SS11 has been on two
SS11 has been on two different doses of Ritalin for the past 5 yrs. He takes a long acting dose (58mg) and another smaller short acting dose at the same time in the morning. He also takes Zoloft for anxiety and Risperidone for the psychotic effects of such high doses of Ritalin.
I must say that he is a Jeckyll and Hyde depending on if he is medicated. His medication regime seems to change a little every year. It changed much more often than that during the first year but it still changes even now. I guess it will always need to be adjusted as he gets older and his body changes.
I am not a Doctor but I am a Registered Nurse. I work in a hospital with mostly adult Medical/Surgical patients, so I am not qualified to diagnose or recommend changes to your child's medication regime. What I CAN do is recommend that you get a second opinion. Remember that a Doctor is no different than a plumber or a contractor. A Doctor has more education and experience about human diseases/disorders than you do, but that Doctor still works for you. You have the right to fire your Doctor. MD does NOT mean Minor Diety (no matter how badly they wish it did!)
A second opinion would ease the Fathers' mind that his son is being adequately treated for his disorder and it would diminish the BMs ability to manipulate the dosing quite so irradically. May I also suggest that either you or the Father put the boy on your health insurance. That way you can provide his medication to BM instead of her getting free samples from work.
βThe opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.β
β Elie Wiesel
Well we dont have insurance
Well we dont have insurance currently or he would be secondary covered on ours.
touchy subjct please dont ask why ect. As a RN do u feel that is irratic and changes too much? I know you are not a doctor nor do u have the ability to treat and such but this is more of a personable question and I WILL NOT HOLD YOUR OPINION AS MEDICAL ADVICE being tjat I myself am a CMA (currently unemployeed).
Every time I see the BM I am going to think of a slinky now...they are dull and boring but you love to push them down stairs just for fun.
We call our BM "Spawn of Satan" cause she had to be one of the devils kids to be that evil and vindictive.
Something about this feels
Something about this feels wrong....yes!!! Very wrong and my gut is telling me this kid was misdiagnosed by a quack dr. that values his employee so he sides with her. Kid has never seen a therapist other than for speech at 4 years old because spawn (once again) thought he had speech problems and so put him in that. 1 visit a week every week for 6 weeks and he was talking bettsr...gee could it be that he grew up some more??
Every time I see the BM I am going to think of a slinky now...they are dull and boring but you love to push them down stairs just for fun.
We call our BM "Spawn of Satan" cause she had to be one of the devils kids to be that evil and vindictive.
thank you all for your help
thank you all for your help (and thank you in advance to any new posters). Dh and I have devised a plan to start taking time and date stamped photos of the medication bottle we are given along with making BM or her mother(who also takes care of ss) physically write down all medication instructions. So if the does changes we have written documentation from them on what we were told to give and we will make sure they date it and it is included in the picture of the med bottle. Also we will be seeking out an attorney to file for custody since she is apparently not worried about the best intrest of her child and we are. I will be sure to keep you posted on how that goes. In the mean while if you have any other suggestions (besides lawyer/ seek second opinion) feel free to post them so maybe I can do them as well.
so glad to see I was not imagining exactly how bad this could be and that I have pople like you that understand.
Every time I see the BM I am going to think of a slinky now...they are dull and boring but you love to push them down stairs just for fun.
We call our BM "Spawn of Satan" cause she had to be one of the devils kids to be that evil and vindictive.
Most ADD meds are controlled
Most ADD meds are controlled substance. We have to pick up the Rx at Dr office every 30 days. We also had to sign a clause saying we don't get the Rx anywhere else but there.
Check out the guidelines in your state. Here even a non custodial parent has a right to medical records. The bad news is she's the receptionist. But I'd still request it.
Dd went to a child counselor, after two or three visits she wanted to test for ADD. We filled out the forms, she took two computer testing one without meds, one with a small dose of meds.
We were lucky in that dd does not have behavior problems.
Keep a log and take pictures of the meds that she sends. Try to communicate through email.
Well SS10 was put on Concerta
Well SS10 was put on Concerta back in March. His dosages each month were changed, based on his teacher's daily journal notes. He never acts that way at home, ever, so it boggles my mind how a child can be diagnosed with ADHD when only the teacher has an issue, not the family not the daycare. SHRUGS.
But, I'll tell you, SS10 is on the highest dosage available, and no change at all. His doc said that it's IMPOSSIBLE to not see ANY difference at all. So, he took SS10 off the meds for the summer. And we are going to get him tested for other things. Doc isn't so sure it's ADHD anymore. I'm of the same opinion.
But, you know how that goes. If the bio parent has got it set in their brain that it's ADHD and it's really not, you just have to wait for the professional to break their hearts!
******
My IPOD says you are full of bullshit!
Well SS7 just told me last
Well SS7 just told me last night was the first time he has taken "bedtime medicine" (kapvay is given at night) and he has been walking around sad, tired, crying, and emotionally a wreck for the past hour now. Plus he has all the cold symptoms that you see in the side effects.
poor kid!!! He said "I seen dr. R yesterday and haven't taken medicine all week until last night." This disturbs me since BM NEVER EVEN TOLD US HE WENT TO THE DOCTOR! Plus she drastically took him off his "morning medicine" and told the doctor it made him "sick" but he has NEVER been sick on any of the strattera meds no matter the dose here. I am super concerned and if I could do it myself I would talk to his doctor but I am no where to be found on any of his stuff.
Every time I see the BM I am going to think of a slinky now...they are dull and boring but you love to push them down stairs just for fun.
We call our BM "Spawn of Satan" cause she had to be one of the devils kids to be that evil and vindictive.
Sad shitty state of affairs
Sad shitty state of affairs when parents just NEED to handle the kids behavior with drugs alone, not even research what they put into their childrens' bodies, then forgo doctors'
recommendations and just cause all this havoc for their kids.
I will tell you that ADHD kids need more than drugs. They also need behavioral therapy.
DH has NOT once taken SS10 for any sort of behavioral therapy or even asked the doc what
strategies that he needs to have in his tool belt to handle SS10.
And of course, when dtzy does the research, because it's the evil dtzy monster talking,
DH won't ever look at it, bother with it, or even do his own damn research.
And he wonders why I get all moody and the climate changes in the room each time SS10 walks in? Coz I'm plumb sick of being the only gosh darned parent in this house that gives a shit
about helping this child and doing the right things. And I hate the kid?
Shoot, these bio parents hate their kids more than I could ever hate a skid. Avoidance parenting and this guilty parenting syndrome is what hating a child is all about.
SIGH.
******
My IPOD says you are full of bullshit!
OMG this sounds just tlike my
OMG this sounds just tlike my situation...minus the dh stuff because I do the research, dh reads it and tells SPAWN, spawn then takes it upon herself to ignore ANY recommendations we make and then ups or changes SS7s meds without ANY notice to us. They have joint custody and dh has not once been told in the past 2 years when ss goes to doctor, dentist, or even if he goes to er for any thing but he is expected to know what half of the medical is.... If u ask me I think he could go to court and get half the medical dropped or make them court order the doctors to touch base with him since she works at ss.s doctor office and refuses to keep dh informed. The bm has not even called to check on ss7 all day today or yesterday. She thinks her mother has him. Her mother was keeping him this weekend for bm and had an emergency and called bm who NEVER ANSWERED HER PHONE so she called dh to get him. Smh bm calls dh a dead beat cause he refuses to call her to talk to ss7 because she always wants to bitch about money when she gets her support on time....but isn't she a dead beat mom....leaves kid all the time, will not answer if someone tries to contact her if she is with friends, changes meds so much it causes emotional instability, and let's not mention the fact that she talks crap about dh and me and our kids infront of ss making him resent and hate us.
Every time I see the BM I am going to think of a slinky now...they are dull and boring but you love to push them down stairs just for fun.
We call our BM "Spawn of Satan" cause she had to be one of the devils kids to be that evil and vindictive.