Step Talk

And I think that's why our BM hates me so much as well, from day one she did not like me...and then it got worse as time went on. She is so angry that we are happily married, and we have a baby, that makes us a family. She had him dangling on a string of divorce, that was wrapped around her little finger, and I came along with a big pair of scissors and cut him off. She has always stated that she "does not want him", but she does not want him to be happy with someone els either, she views their marriage as a failure, so god forbid we succeed!~ " I started out clean, now, I'm jaded"~ Rob Thomas, Matchbox 20

Chel,

BM USED to be nice to me.. I think that is before she realized that I was not running off.. She tried to get me to think of him as a dirt bag, etc. What I saw underneath the surface is someone that made an aggregious mistake and paid dearly for it. There were a lot of factors going on in their relationship that lead to his straying.. Not to be solely blamed on him. I have had my problems w/DH, when we were dating, but not since, as he knows what my stance is on cheating and inappropriate relationships.

I know it burns her @ss that we are happy.. she tries very hard to disrupt our lives, ruin our family vacations (since she only knows when we are going away if we take the skids) and holidays (showed up 2 hrs late on Easter to pick up skids, and didnt tell dh, so he left the festivities early to meet her)

The fact that she posted this blog on OUR anniversary speaks volumes to me... That was our 2nd anniversary.. A week before our 1st anniversary she assaulted me.

BM forced him into everything, or tried to...she forced him into having a child by lying about BC, then tried to force him into marriage. she actually bought herself a ring and told people he proposed!! how pathetic! then she wanted him to reimburse her! she went to the bank and drew up paperwork for a joint account which he signed bc he felt like he was stuck and didnt want to fight w her...now shes trying to force him to choose the child he had w her other his other.
she hates me bc i am living the life she tried to force upon him. she also says "i dont want u...im so happy we broke up" blah blah...go tell yr lies to soemone else who will believe them. she is just a miserable sick person. i feel bad for her really...it must suck to be so awful u have to force men to be w u and force them to have a life w u

BM tried to "warn" me to about how "awful" DH is, but SHE was the one who cheated with everyone she came in contact with, SHE was the one out racking up DUI'S, and neglecting her kids, SHE was the one who lied with every other breath she took. And she had the nerve to warn me??? HAha to that one, I'm surprised my DH even made it through without major issues. So, what are you going to do , in light of this new info.??~ " I started out clean, now, I'm jaded"~ Rob Thomas, Matchbox 20

OMG.. the bm's must be related.. this one also got pregnant after 6 months of dating.. then they had to get married. How funny.

They should be poster children for what NOT to do.

im just glad he didnt GET married! then he'd be paying alimony to that witch and THAT i definitely couldnt take!

Very well put!! Same thing in my case...she did all of these horrible things to him, and then told him that he was the one who did not want to be a family.??? DH does admit to not wanting to come home from work alot, because he could not deal with the life that was forced on him, or her crazyness. BM in turn, made life even worse for him........bottom line....they should have never had kids,& got married, it was doomed from the start!!~ " I started out clean, now, I'm jaded"~ Rob Thomas, Matchbox 20

I dont know what I can do.. I guess it gives me a much better understanding of why she is so crazy.. and why I am treated badly. Why she wants my skids to hate me.

I have toyed w/the idea of telling dh that I found this and how its on our anniversary and that I think she is hung up on him still.. But he would not be psyched that I was sluething online... He always wants me to pretend like the ex doesnt exist.. not to be concerned w/what her and her new dh are doing or not doing.

How would you use it.

to remind urself that u are living the life she wanted(s) and w every slam she gives up, every time she knocks u up against the wall, every little stunt she pulls, just smile knowing shes just jealous...and that u are having a great time in the life she ruined for herself!

how do u find their myspace?

if i was married and my husband cheated on me, i would be destroyed and i would as well, agonize over it undoubtedly, for years to come. the fact that she is LESS than kind to you, i suspect has to do with the very deep hurt he caused her and she must ask herself each and every morning: "why did he do this to ME?"

i understand that for every cheater there is a set of circumstances and reasons that helped him/her get to that point. i would know, i was unfaithful to my ex when i was with him. and let me tell you, the guilt i still feel till today for being dishonest, secretive and a downright liar, regardless of the circumstances, i will never forgive myself for.

i hope by reading her blogs you have now come to an understanding that is rooted more in compassion and empathy than righteousness. and for her, i hope she learns to let go, and that she meets someone who will truly make her happy and allow her to feel that she deserves ever bit of it.

Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.

sounds like she is remarried? if this is the case, obviously this new man isn't the right one, because she clearly has alot of pain and regret over her failed marriage and present relationship isn't enough to help her let it all go. failed marriages for many of us, can fester like an open wound for many many years. again, i would know as i'm sure many of us out there would.

Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.

Lovers do not finally meet somewhere, they were with each other all along.

How do you exactly find someone on myspace? I have tried bm's name, married, maiden ect and nothing. Also, how do you see exactly who has been checking out your own myspace page?

i have myspace set to friends only so only my friends that i accept and know can look at it. and i have also tried BMs name though i do not dare to try it with my H last name cause im scared i'll find her that way..

You're lucky that she was honest and discussed her real feelings and reasons to "hate" you. All BM ever says is that I'm a whore, BF is a deadbeat, and we're both idiots who are out to ruin her life.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

I am a BM and my ex cheated on me in my first marriage. He left me 3 months behind in the rent, utilities, and no money in the bank account. He left me with a baby that was only 1.5 months old and a 2 year old. I wasn't even off of maternity leave yet. He left for another woman and could have cared less that we were about to be evicted due to HIS mismanagement of our money. I had no idea he didn't pay the bills.

To this day I resent what he did to us. Hey I am human and that was a low thing for him to do. I have moved on since then. I am not a victim I moved on with my life but I don't forget dirty rotten things people have done to me. He did this to me at the age of 21 and was a hard lesson to learn that still affects me to this day. On the good note I was taught the hard way to become fiercly independent and never again will allow a person to have total control of my finances. I also made damn sure he paid child support as well. He may not want have wanted to pay for kids he helped bring into this world but he was going to be forced to do it. My children and I never faced eviction again.

BM sounds like she hasn't forgotten either. But Frustrated this has nothing to do with you so don't let her make your life miserable for something you did not do to her. My ex remarried and married a wonderful person who became my all time best friend in the world and still is nearly 27 years later.

Her anger at you is misdirected.

"GO BACK TO YOUR BRIDGE YOU EVIL TROLL. YOU HAVE NO POWERS HERE"