I let him know how upset I was that he goes out of his way to help BM at our expense whenever she needs it. He decided to take the night off from work to keep his kids so BM could take a class on short notice. I felt like Bm was taking advantage of him as she told him he would be the reason she loses her job if she can't get to the class. I was livid as it is not our resposiblity to care for the children on her time. She fought us bad for full custody of the kids and as I see it, if she wants it...let her have it. But she better be prepared to take care of them full-time.
DH understands but says he is in a bad place. He doesn't ever want BM to be able to say "your dad wouldn't". Unfortunatley I don't think letting her walk all over us and take advantage of our time is going to stop her from that.
Now she wants us to split the kids 50/50 over the summer. I told DH not if we are paying full CS. He told BM they would have to change the CS order and she said she couldn't do it. So I guess thats that... I hope.
So how do you draw a line that doesn't allow BM to use you at her convienience and expect us to pick up the extra things like SD band uniform on top of CS without her telling the kids your dad just isn't there for you guys like he should be? I don't think there is a way to keep her from bad mouthing us.That we should just expect it and don't bother giving in to her every need. But then how do we explain that to the SK's, they are 6,13 and 14, so I guess they are getting to an age where things like that can be discussed?
CS
It doesn't matter what you do or how much you give she is going to be talking crap behind his and your back. Since she fought so hard for the kds I would give them to her full time. Don't let her use you for the summer or any other time. I know the drill, BM gets CS, tax benefits, and then leaves them at BDs house when ever she can. If you are going to survive you will have to learn to say no. And don't let BM dictate your house.
13 and 14 is old enough to understand Money, etc. issues...
13 and 14 is old enough to understand Money, etc. issues. Hell I was Paying Room & Board to My Parents at 14 (25% of My Check and Forced to "Bank" another 50%, when I got My first "Jones Job" and kept on paying, until I moved to My Grandparents at 18, and Payed Them, for Living there. The 6 yr old is too young to undestand Money etc. much, but some of the issues can be simplified to his/her level...
Steve
Kids are the Best and Worst Things We can do to Ourselves. When We have nothing else worth living for, We'll go on, for Them, but Oh How We Miss Our Freedom...LOL
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