Tessa1221's picture

Please help! Bf favors child over the other

My boyfriend has two kids I love every much. They're from two different moms... The first child is a boy he is 6, he is a great kid, very smart. His mother is an addict and my boyfriend has full custody of his son, and we have decided to keep her out of his life since she kept seeing him then doesn't call him for months off and on, even forgot his birthday. His son doesn't even call her mom. He calls me mom, so it's not much of a problem. He also is recently divorced and has a second child. She's almost 3, she's very great with speech, follows her brother around, loves me as well, potty training as we speak. Her mom completely hates me and hasn't even gotten the time to know me. First day I met her she tried to hit my boyfriends car with her child in the car and said she was worried about who her daughter is around but not about her safety? Also they finally went through court and we have 50/50. So less problems, but the crazy mother is still doing her thing. I try to ignore it until she makes it my problem calling my boyfriend all the time. It's out of hand. How do I get her to stop thinking she's his problem still? She's 22. I'm 26 I feel it won't ever change but I need it to. We will argue because of her. It's just gone to far with her. Also my boyfriend treats his kids differently. His boy get into trouble and I give him the motherly he hasn't have. I love him to death. He has zero relationship with his dad. I hate it, It hurts me to see how different he treats his son then his daughter. He babies his daughter too much. I try to explain to him and we get in arguments because he's always sticking up for her when she's on trouble. I understand they're different in age and don't exactly get the same discipline but they do need to both be disciplined and they both need to be treated the same. He doesn't even look at his son the same way as his daughter it sorta sickens me. I don't know what to do. How do I change this? It's almost like he looks at his son and sees his mother which is no where near fair. Please help me.He also thinks because she's a girl she doesn't get in trouble as much as him and that it's ok she's babied. When if he babies her she's always going to act like a baby, it's best to break it now then later or she's always going to be depending on him. He just yells at his son all the time.


just.his.wife's picture

Have your bf read my blog to

Have your bf read my blog to see what happens when one babies a girl all her life and applies little to no discipline.

Not claiming the skids anymore, I am just his wife.

mslowery31's picture

as i was reading i was sure

as i was reading i was sure it was going to be the son ur DH treated better... since he is there all the time. Did BM of SD also care for this little boy?? how long have they been divorced? Sounds like she needs to move on with her life and maybe get some friends or a boyfriend to me!!! Maybe she is the reason he babies his baby. He knows the son is more than likely always going to be with him but he feels he needs to show more love & attention to the one that isnt there everyday. Sounds like a tough situation to me! Cuz if u in return start overcompensating for SS since he is getting shortchanged, its just going to cause resentment and disruption in the home. Believe me to this day my sister hates my dad and grandma for the obvious favoritism to me. And the same goes for my mom cuz she always babied and still does my sis! If u are sure u are willing to be there for the longhaul I would encourage DH to establish some age appropriate rules now and make sure ech child gets the punishment/discipline that u agreed too. She HAS to follow rules or she will be out of control and BM is going to be calling him more often!!! GOOD LUCK TO U

Disneyfan's picture

That boy is going to be one

That boy is going to be one messed up kid. He has a mother the dad won't allow him to see and a dad who he doesn't have a bond with.

ktq's picture

Here's how this could

Here's how this could possibly turn out for your BF:

My XSO has 3 kids. D21, S14 and the precious little princess D10.

He has ALWAYS outright disgustingly favored, coddled and pampered this little BRAT.

D21 has NOTHING to do with Dad. I think she texted him on his BDay.

S14 has basically nothing to do with Dad. He does the every other week visits, but spends most of the time in his room or with friends. There's really no communication between them. I foresee that when he's 18, he'll be like his older sister and Dad might get a text on his bday.

D10 totally and completely runs Dad's life and house. Dad lives FOR her. And her ONLY. D10 pretty much ignores Dad unless somebody else is around that he's giving attention to. I foresee that in 4 years when S14 is 18, Dad will be very, very lonely and disillusioned because princess won't have anybody to compete with for his attention, so she'll want nothing to do with him.