ABORTION?????????
I really really want kids...just wasnt financially ready right now. Lost job and health ins last year and had been pretty much been relying on savings. Working now, but job doesnt have benefits. Slipped up, popped up pregnant. Very little money, no ins...husband's job does offer ins, but it's very expensive and open enrollment isn't until jan. (I'm due in February) We don't qualify for government assistance b/c we both work a lot. (Already applied and got denied) Husband is clearly frustrated and unable to provide any real emotional support or financial support. It's really looking like abortion is the best option for me. Not happy about it, but what else can I do?????? If anyone has any ideas, I'm open to them. I live in VA if that helps.
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my only advice is to not make
my only advice is to not make a permanant decision over a temporary situation. if you end this pregancy, there is nothing you will be able to do later to change that. your situation could improve greatly before the baby is born. even if not, there is help available. you should really think this thru good and hard.
Your husband should be able
Your husband should be able to change benefits based on life changing event....he shouldn't have to wait for open enrollment. At least that's how it works for me. Have him speak to his human resources.
Not always true. If they are
Not always true. If they are married, the marriage would have been the qualifying event and I think you get 30 days to add on a new spouse with most policies but double check your insurance with your HR or read the policy. Pregnancy is not a qualifying event. That would mean if she did not elect the insurance when she was healthy, and then three months later got sick, the sickness would also be considered a qualifying event. However, the child CAN go onto the insurance the moment it is born and some of the birth and hospital charges would be included. You have 30 days for most insurances to add a baby on the insurance once it is born. Again - double check. Wife however, would still have to wait until open enrollment since you denied the healthcare when you were healthy (not pregnant)...Again, always DOUBLE CHECK!
Thanks!!!! FYI...morning
Thanks!!!! FYI...morning after pills that are available over the counter don't work well if you take them when you are ovulating. Be sure to count your days, if you are ovulating and need emergency contraception, get a prescription for a pill called ELLA from your MD. This one works better when you're ovulating. I found out the hard way.....
He's so frustrated right now.
He's so frustrated right now. I'm sure he thinks I did this on purpose. Anyway, I am going to talk to hr at his job next week. We spoke to them last week but we were scared to tell them I was pregnant. Agent kept trying to sell us cheaper individual plans which you can't use for prenatal for 6 mos.
I'm sorry you're struggling
I'm sorry you're struggling with this situation. You do have options, but choose your option (abortion, adoption, or keeping it) because it is what is best for you (and it) and not because you feel pressured or because you feel you have no other choice.
Since you are pregnant and currently unemployeed, look into services for OB care, WIC, etc., as an option. Talk to your husband about his thoughts and what he wants too (though it is your choice in the end as it is your body).
If you feel abortion or adoption are a better option for you right now, that is okay too. It is a personal very important decision and you need all the support you can get while you make your decision.
Check into a planned
Check into a planned parenthood in your area ( if you have one) they can usually point you in the right direction for all the options you have now or will have if you decide to keep the baby.
I'm not sure about the comment that having an abortion will have a lasting effect on your future fertility. I would check with your doctor on that one. Weigh the pros and cons..there really are many of them to think about.
Good luck and I wish you well!
^^^^this^^^^^ I would never
^^^^this^^^^^
I would never tell another what choice to make either way. But Geraldine has a point. If you have to ask if this is right for you, then it probably isn't. Check again with Medicaid to see if this is an option now that you are pregnant.
Also, I don't believe you have to wait for open enrollment in a situation like the one you are in. As expensive as it may be to add you to his plan, it will be way more expensive without it.
I am sure there are "free"
I am sure there are "free" clinics where you can get sliding scale fees for prenatal care, and hospitals that will let you pay for your part of the birth expenses on a payment plan. I also agree that if you do abort and the reasons are financial or situation-based that you could end up very bitter and angry you may end up hating your DH or SK.
Abortion can cause
Abortion can cause infertility in some people. I have a friend who can no longer carry a baby past 3 months because she had an abortion in her 20's. She's devastated. However, just because one person has this problem does not mean it will definitely happen to OP.
DH and I have friends who just had a baby, and they don't have insurance or much income themselves. They also might lose their home to foreclosure. The woman found a clinic that offers a sliding scale for services. The quality of care is a lot less than going to your own private OB, but they also didn't get stuck with a $45000 hospital bill like I would have had without insurance. It took some research and a few phone calls to find the clinic, but it worked out for them. I think the person who suggested contacting Planned Parenthood is an excellent idea.
It might be cheaper to use a clinic like our friends did if DH's insurance is that expensive.
If you have any desire to have this child, think long before aborting; it's not something you can ever reverse. If you want children, you'll find a way to make this work. Don't let your DH blame you; it takes two!!
Plz plz check with your
Plz plz check with your States Medicaid Program. Plz flat out tell them you ARE pregnant. I live in OH & I know for an absolute fact that you DO qualify for the States FREE Medicaid program!!!! I was under the impression that all states have this program!!! & I'm pretty sure you'd qualify!!! These programs are out there for Women in just your exact situation where you don't qualify under another plan. If you Don't tell them you ARE currently pregnant-they may choose to disqualify you do to job, income, ets. I just checked out my states Medicaid program online-- & it says that you & the baby (for one year after its birth as well) DO qualify!!! These programs are out there!!! Please before you get yourself too upset or make any rash decision. Please look online for your States Medicaid program for women who are currently pregnant. Please.
Thanks everyone. I'm going
Thanks everyone. I'm going to keep trying. I will contact PP today and see what they can do. My OB said he will work with me on the fees for prenatal too. I'm just so concerned about this hospital bill. But thanks for all your information and support.
A lot of pregnancies can, and
A lot of pregnancies can, and do, go full term with no care whatsoever from any provider except an ER delivery nurse! They human body is an amazing vessel!
I really do understand the desire to be reassured that all is well, for that I would go to a gynocology clinic once a trimester and pay their fee for a consult.
Good luck! Ohh...relaxation is something you can do for FREE! Please try to take some time out every day just for YOU.