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MIL acts like BFFs with BM?? WTH?

nicholehouston21's picture

Ok so I am all for harboring relationship for the welfare of the children..but tell me if I'm being overly sensitive here or if this is ridiculous...
My H had a baby with his high school gf when he was 17...they were together for a VERY short time. SS is now 9 and is a holy terror but that is a different blog entirely. The thing that has been eating at me forever now is that my MIL acts like BM is her BFF. BM is lazy sends SS in filthy clothes, asks MIL for money constantly for groceries (lets not mention the fact we pay support and then buy all his school clothes and pay for everything else besides food), moves SS all over hell and back, leaves him random places so she can go party, never takes him to the doctor, never makes him meals, SS says she sleeps until noon most days (and she can do this bc she has no job 3/4 of the time)...the list goes on but in a nutshell the woman is a loser and doesnt take care of her kid.
MIL talks to her daily and when BM bitches about things that DH has or hasnt done MIL calls and yells at him asking him "what kind of father are you?" Really? To top it off I am the one who (up until 6 months ago when I had enough) had been doing EVERYTHING for SS right along with my bio kids...school trips, clothes shopping, dr appts dental appts (which he had never been to in 8 years of his life) AND MIL treats me like shit. She talks horrible about me to everyone she knows family included and BM sent me txts saying i wasnt "SS mother". OK by me then start doing your job b#@$%. I quit doing all the things I had been and school is getting ready to start so guess who had to get all his supplies and crap? MIL...DH works nonstop so he hasnt had time and I refuse.
So you can only imagine I am at the top of the shit list now. Which I could really care less about because I can't stand them anyway (kid included). But my question here is how in the hell can MIL be best friends and kiss BM ass and treat me and her own son like crap??? Am I wrong?

StickAFork's picture

Sounds like my life. Sad

Look, if BM is a loser bitch and MIL likes her... well, that just reflects what kind of person MIL is, right? }:)

luchay's picture

Yep, me too.

Had a massive row with OH on Friday about his mother in fact!

The bitch BM actually sent him a text when we moved in together saying she was going to destroy him. That she had told all his family and friends that he had been unfaithful to her for over a year with me (garbage) and that he had abandoned his kids to be with me and that I am a slut.

The MIL and BIL refuse to meet me, SIL is her best friend.

But my OH differs from yours in that he just accepts his mother saying "You may have changed your life, but I choose to have no part in that" and still is friends etc with BM. So he takes the skids to visit her without me because he doesn't want to upset HER????

Ummm HELLO - your mother called me "the slut you live with" and you are basically telling her that is ok to treat me that way.

His argument? What - my kids should miss out on seeing their grandmother because of all this? It's not their fault why should they suffer?

Again UMMM HELLO - BM is inviting his parents over for pity parties all the time, the skids tell me that granny was over visiting etc. So he COULD if he chose to support me by telling his mother that she is wrong to behave this way and that until she accepts his choices and shows some respect he will not see her.

He thinks I am unreasonable but has agreed for the sake of peace with me Wink