Why do BioParents think it's okay for THEM to get frustrated with their brats but don't want anyone else to?? After over a week of this smug, smart-mouthed, rude, moody, lazy, nasty PseudoSS8 walking around my house, I can't wait for him to go home this evening! Even doting catering DH is growing weary of him as evidenced by his frustration yesterday. He said he wants to smack him in his mouth for always trying to talk back. Of course I point out to DH that in 4 years I've never seen him seriously punish this brat in any way. A few weak fussings and a time out that he lets him break so it's no wonder that now that he's older, he feels comfortable talking back. (He does not talk back to me. He listens to me because I tell him directly that I will bust his butt and he believes me).
Anyway, DH can acknowledge being frustrated with him, but then if *I* say something similar or even agree with him, he immediately gets defensive! I'm the one who freaking keeps this kid while he works. He worked a lot less this time b/c I put my foot down but why does he think HE can be upset with him but the lowly StepMom is supposed to be just fine with him or not say anything about being tired of him. I asked him simply what time are we taking him home today. My family is visiting from 4hrs away & everything we've done, we've had this kid in tow. Running his mouth in our adult discussions, trying to monopolize DH so much that he could barely ever pay attention to anything we were talking about. So I wanted to know when he's going home so I can see if I can arrange just one thing with them, without him before they go home tonight. We have to drive 2.5hrs to meet the BM-Biatch so just trying to plan. DH gets all pissy & 'Don't worry he'll be out of your hair soon!". Well hell yes he is and thank goodness for that. But exactly when can I look forward to this is all I want to know. Lol
He acts like it's wrong for ME to ever be tired of this kid. Anyone else go through this?
Oh! Oh! Me! ME! LOL NOBODY
Oh! Oh! Me! ME! LOL
NOBODY can say ANYTHING negative or ANYTHING that could be percieved as negative about his little darlin dumplin precious princess. And Daaaadddddyyyy is WATCHING for it and LISTENING for anything that might be implied.
Does your DH chase the SS8 down to profusely apologize and grovel for forgiveness after he kinda sorta yells or almost punishes the brat or just tells it NO and it gets mad? Yeah...
HECK YES KTQ!!! As soon as I
HECK YES KTQ!!! As soon as I get a little proud of DH for really laying into the kid (not abusively, but sternly), he starts backing down and pulling him aside to talk to him in that baby way. "Look buddy, Daddy don't want to yell at you but you have to listen to Daddy okay buddy? We alright? I love ya Buddy; just try a little harder okay bud?"
SS8 IMMEDIATELY realizes 1-he is now off the hook of whatever trouble he may have been in and 2-he can play on this guilt to now make DH feel bad and possibly get something out of him on top of it! Next thing you know, he's coming out of Walmart with yet another new f*cking miniature toy or something else for me to sit on in the car.
We are in process of cooking breakfast for everyone. My sisters family is enroute from hotel. Our fridge is already packed from the meals we've had this week. Yet he brings home the FOURTH 64oz bottle of Apple Juice (or as the brat calls it "Appa Duice". GRRRR). I make innocent comment of "Good luck finding room for that. He's going home today so why the whole big bottle when he has a full 20oz bottle in there?" DH slams the refrigerator "well he can drink it next time he's here!" and glares at me. I told him not if I Pour it out. He then knew today was not the day to mess with me so he backed off. But always the slightest little thing and he's defensive!
My happiness is my responsibility. Your kid is your responsibility.
I'm right there with you on
I'm right there with you on the being proud for a minute and then wanting to puke thing!
And I'm sorry, but I'm honestly LOL'ing at "Appa Duice"
Stand up for all of us and POUR IT OUT!
what an asshole! have you
what an asshole! have you ever told him that you don't find his kid's bullshit any cuter than he finds the neighbor kids attitudes charming? i did tell fdh that i don't have a bond or unconditional love for sd. my feelings for her are based solely on how she treats me, and...well...yeah.
good for you for letting him know you aren't gonna take his disgusting attitude. i would like to smack him for how he talks to that brat.
"I don't hold grudges. I remember facts."
ohhhhhhhh!!! Breakfast -
ohhhhhhhh!!! Breakfast - that reminds me of one Saturday morning many years ago. Dh, dd (then age 2) and I get up in the morning. It was CLEAR that SS (then 14) had already been up and eaten an entire box of FROZEN sausage links (he didn't cook them and we didn't have a microwave) and an ENTIRE box of cereal (in a MIXING BOWL). PIG!
So I got busy making breakfast for dd and dh and dh WENT OFF on me about how in the world could I be so HEARTLESS as to make breakfast for him and dh and not ss? I got up from the table, got the empty sausage box, the empty cereal box and the dirty mixing bowl and set them in front of dh and said "skid has already eaten."
Stepped over, stepped on, stepped around, stepped in it and almost drowned. Done.
ktq, I got accused of
ktq,
I got accused of tossing SS10 a look about a year before DH told me.
I'm like WTF? You DH always say I forgot, I don't remember but Damn
you seem to remember every slight I supposedly make.
I probably did toss the stink eye at him, and probably stuck my tongue out
for good measure. I don't REMEMBER if I did because the last 3 years and
some change have all blended together into some crazy hazy fog. LOL
******
My IPOD says you are full of bullshit!
Oh, Dtzy...A YEAR?? LMAO. He
Oh, Dtzy...A YEAR?? LMAO. He was really holdin onto to that one, wasn't he?! Was he excited to be able to finally throw that back at you LOL
I just wore my sunglasses for FIVE DAYS STRAIGHT so my rolling eyes and WTF looks and FML looks wouldn't be so noticeable. (Yeah, I went on "our trip" The first day was GREAT! I was shocked/impressed. Day 2.5 was back to normal... for him and his D10, not the rest of the world.)
A YEAR?? I'd feign not to
A YEAR?? I'd feign not to remember and then I'd say "well since I'm being accused, let me go ahead and make a face now to make sure I stand accused correctly!" Geez. A year. WTH.
My happiness is my responsibility. Your kid is your responsibility.
Yeah guys, a year. Had no
Yeah guys, a year. Had no clue that he was upset either.
That's how it works with us, if DH is upset, he won't talk
about it until sometime in the future when he gets upset and
then I'm sitting there listening to a list of things I did that
gave him an impression of me not liking SS10. SIGH.
This year was the year I disengaged and the year he got a cluepon.
so it doesn't happen in the present, yet.
******
My IPOD says you are full of bullshit!
LOLOL!! DBF told me one time
LOLOL!! DBF told me one time not to say I didn't like SD6's hair gel in front of her because it hurts her feelings. Fuckoutta here.
All the time at my house to
All the time at my house to if you ever say anything negative it's like omg how could you say that? If I can't point out the negative I refuse to point out the positive !! It is not fair to the skid nor is it fair to my bio kids for me to tell skid only the good things about her that will only make her think wow I am so perfect which she already thinks this anyway.... And what the heck will bios think if I give them grief over something and not skid.... So if u can't say negative don't say the positive and I told my DH exactly that and why I say nothing....
Oh wow Birdie, yeah how can
Oh wow Birdie, yeah how can you raise your children to be responsible respectable members of society which sometimes requires discipline and guidance, but you're supposed to tiptoe around someone else's brat? No way. Thank God DH and I have no kids together. He's a wuss and this kid is going to get bolder and bolder as he grows up. I know one day he's going to yell at my DH "you're not my Dad!" and I'll be so happy when that day comes. I'll be able to say "That's what I've been telling him all these years!! Now get the F out of our lives and go find your Real Dad!"
My happiness is my responsibility. Your kid is your responsibility.
One time I remember telling
One time I remember telling SD the out fit she was wearing was terrible and DH and her looked at me like omg you hurt little feelings. Sorry it was terriable and she is learning how to dress like BM just no taste. F it I won't teach her what is cute and what is not... and when she is wearing something nice I don't say she looks cute either anymore. My parents told me when outfit no good I tell my kids when outfit looks bad it's how they learn. But the look I got when I said that and DH was so offended I say screw it let the BM teach her to dress like white trash.
Oh, absolutely! I can
Oh, absolutely! I can certainly relate, even though my skids are adults. Stating the obvious - I'm negative. Correcting DH when he conveniently rewrites or omits facts concerning his kids - I'm negative. Failing to ignore the HERD of elephants that roam freely throughout his dysfunctional family? Yup - I'm so negative.
* Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.
** I'm not giving up. I'm transcending the situation.
Always a feeling of can't win
Always a feeling of can't win for losing, isn't it? SM's aren't supposed to offer anything constructive to the lives of the Skids. We're just supposed to smile and love them no matter what. No way in hell...
My happiness is my responsibility. Your kid is your responsibility.
He's only 8, God help you
He's only 8, God help you when he is 18. Let's hope your husband stops feeling guilty because he left BM and concentrates on being a good parent very soon. The way these men focus on feeling guilty and think that makes them a good parent amazes me. Guys parent your kids, no one likes them and rightly so. Is this how you want your kids to grow up. Let's be honest you guys don't like them either, but your answer to that is more guilt, you feel guilt beause you left BM, you feel guilt because your kids are turning out horribly and you blame the divorce for that instead of your bad parenting. It is not the divorce it is the way you are handling it dad and they give SM's get a bad rap.
DH left the BMBiatch because
DH left the BMBiatch because she had an affair that resulted in this little SS8 that I now have to deal with. My DH has no bio children at all. He does not feel the least bit guilty for leaving that whoring biatch but he feels sorry for the boy for not having a real Father. (The whore said she'd never tell the real father the boy existed). So it's all the more understandable that I don't have a bond with him and I don't mince words but yet DH gets all pissy about it if I say anything, even if he's already said it himself! Then he starts the defending and coddling and I just walk away.
My happiness is my responsibility. Your kid is your responsibility.