Step Talk

girl...all I can say, is he deserves it!!! Take care of yourself.

Yes, I left DH (Dick Head).

I need all the prayers I can get for the strength and courage to pull through this.

DH is really a prick, self-center, righteous a$$hole. Nothing more needs to be said. I'm done.

Here's the run down of what happened...

Dh had to work today, so I got his kids up, ready and dropped off to their respective mothers. He came home in the afternoon, and literally was a cold fish to me, didn't acknowledge me. Mucked around on SS's pc, called his mother, took off. That was around 4pm. Didn't say one word to me, didn't tell me he was leaving, where he was going, etc. I of course, overheard him talking to his mother, so yes, I knew where he was.

His mother called me at about 9pm, thanked me for the gift. I tell her oh your welcome. Happy Mother's Day. She then tells me that DH just left, he's on his way home. And I respond, oh, so that's where he is? He just left without a word to me. Hasn't said anything to me all day. She paused, and was like, really? But I left it at that. He didn't come home until 930pm.

He comes in, again, no hello, nothing, hustles around the house putting some stuff away, I don't know, don't care. I'm minding my own business.

Out of no where, he approaches me, says... Can I just ask you a question? I looked up at him. His tone was not pleasant and say Yeah, what?

Why am I so disrespectful to his friends? And proceeds to ream me.

I retort back at him, What?

And he goes off about yesterday, that I "belittled" HIM in front of his friends. Which to fill you in... I didn't start the conversation, I didn't belittle DH, HIS FRIEND belittled HIM. He just happens to be taking it out on me now. And DH disrespected ME IN FRONT OF HIS PARENTS yesterday. And just rattles on some utter bullshit, the usual 'it's all my fault' canter that he's always spewing at me.

Excuse me? But I didn't start the conversation, I TRIED to drop the subject, not talk, I tried... he keeps cutting me off, and proceed to SCREAM at me...

So, I looked at him, and said... Fine. I'll solve your problem.

Went to the bedroom, packed my things, collected my laptop stuff and some odd and ends. He continues to tear me down, notch by notch, with his f#cking checklist of all these things. Because you know, I'm such a b!tch. How I can't keep friends... how he has such a good report with people... I just didn't respond, but you know it's not because people don't like me... it's because I'M AT HOME BY MY SELF AND HAVE NO ONE TO TALK WITH, moron!!! Yeah, and all his 'so called friends' don't socialize with him outside of the house, it's all through connections at work. Dumb ass.

I had a break down at Christmas, he held that over my head.

So, I left him. I don't know where my life will lead me now, but I know that I am done with a man who treats me with such disrespect and worthlessness. The sad part is that next week, would have been our 3rd anniversary.

StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

That sucks. I'm so sorry. I hate to see a couple split up, but you've got to do what healthiest for you, & you've taken the first step.

What is with people who think they have a right to treat their SO's like garbage?

Cajun Lady
"Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez"

I am currently (recently) separated from my hubby too. Although he has indicated he will get help for his problems, this has yet to be put into action yet and I refuse to let him move home until it does. He continues to act like a disrespectful ass on a regular basis followed by a "oh sorry, I say thing wrong...don't take them the wrong way" (and here I think, then think before you speak and don't say them the wrong way then).

Things have not been easy..it will be 2 wks tomorrow...but I have found things are MUCH calmer in my house and I am getting stronger day by day. I do not regret that I have put my foot down, not at all. Do I get lonely for him, yes, but then I think of everything that has happened or what he has said to me and my mind thinks back to me doing the right thing.

If you need to talk, please PM me anytime. I am off work on sick leave right now and this site has been my lifeline...so I am on here a lot. Talk care of yourself...thinking of you.

Hugs,
Corie

Oh Honey this was a long time coming. I am not surprised at all. Don't let that man break you down with his list of verbal abuses. He has been a real ass to you. Try not to think of it as your 3rd anniversary. Think of it as three years before you finally woke up and got a life!!!

This may be hard at first but I think you are on the road of getting some peace in your life. Wait until this man has to actually take total care of his own kids. I believe he will miss you WAY more than you will miss him. BTW you want to be with someone who can really love and cherish you. Not use you as a damn babysitter.

You know how to contact me if you need me. I mean it anytime!!!!

BIG HUGS!!!!!

"GO BACK TO YOUR BRIDGE YOU EVIL TROLL. YOU HAVE NO POWERS HERE"

Your DH sounds just like my Ex DH, he used to do the same thing to me like you just described, and finally, I just could not take it anymore....packed up a few things, and left for good. And that was after 13 years of marriage. The first year was tough, I had never really spent time as a single person, I had gotten married young (not because I was preggo either...that took 4 years to happen) I had to create a new life from the ground up. I had a couple of very good friends that helped me thru it, and in that process, I met the man I am married to now, just when I thought I would never meet anyone els. He is perfect to me and for me. I'm so glad now that I got out of that relationship. The funny thing is, now, my ex and I have no bad feelings to eachother, and get along well, due to distance, living far away from eachother, and he moved on to a life that he really wanted, being free, and single. Some men are better off that way.~ " I started out clean, now, I'm jaded"~ Rob Thomas, Matchbox 20

Sweetie, this guy had kept you on an emtoional leash since I met you a year and a half ago. I have told you before that I have seen a decline in your personality and outlook over that time because of him. It has pissed me off so many times to listen to how he degrades you.

Have you looked in the mirror lately? You are beautiful and smart and will be just fine! Nobody deserved to be abused and that is exactly what this SOB has been doing to you. Mental and verbal abuse. That leaves deeper scras that physical. I am VERY PROUD of you for finally having the courage to leave him. You will be okay. We all will be okay without our husbands. Be with a man because he compliments you, not becaue you fear being alone or not being able to make it without him. You lived an entire life before him and you will be okay again. Happier.

I will pray for you and I know you have the strength to keep going. I have sent you my phone number before, but if you need it again, let me know. I will be glad to talk to you and give you a shoulder.

All of my love to you....

"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay."

I am so sorry...I know it's difficult...but remember what Fearless always say:

Life is too F*CKING SHORT to be miserable!!!

You can do this...

HUGS to you~
________________________________________________________________
Soon to be Fearless the Free!

Good luck to you! Fearless is RIGHT!

It really means a lot.

StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

Hang in there, press forward and don't look back. Go do something nice for yourself, plan a holiday or weekend getaway, visit old friends or relatives. Gather around you your truest supporters.

hugs.

It's about damn time! He didn't deserve you anyway!

~THE EXERCISE THAT REALLY CHANGES YOUR LIFE IS WALKING DOWN THE AISLE~

It is very encouraging to read your posts.

One thing that really bothers me from something that DH said to me the other night, and I just have to get it off my chest because it's really bothering me.

One of his rants of many was that he said, and I quote:

"That I wasn't a mother."

For which I said... "Yes, you're right, I'm not!"

"I make a horrible mother. And that's the reason he doesn't want to have kids with me."

That has been eating away at me all day. It really irritates me because all I have done has been for his kids. Isn't that just pathetic to tear someone down like that?

StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

It is so funny you say that because i have found that if you were to turn around to anyone and say that you are not the skids mother or you dont have a maternal feeling for them, then you are being selfish and irrational and not thinking about the skids however others can have a dig at you and it be ok......i dont get it! Much love to you!

I am so sorry you are going through this. I was glad to see you back last week. Your candid opinion has been missed. I had hoped that once his sleep apnea was under control perhaps his asshole hbehavior would stop.

You have been a great mother to those children & having to deal with 2 BM's is a feat in itself. It should be interesting to see how well he does on his own with his children.

My ex used to tell me I would make a lousey mom & that is why we didn't have children, in between telling me next year we would have a baby. Well guess what, I am a mom & I am awesome at it! He is still an asshole, go figure.

I am in no position to give marital advice, but my mother always says it is an awfully long life while you are miserable. If you want children of your own, find a man who will love you and have them. There is no comparison from being a step mom to being a BM. My son makes all the crazy husband & BM evils pale in comparison to the joy of him.

We are here for you, don't let him bring you down.

I heard the same comments from my ex-H, including the "mother" part. An abuser knows the weakest spots to hit and they will hit as hard as they can. Remember that - for all of the ugly words, you should know the exact opposite is the truth. That is the abuse pattern - the opposite of what is reality - to take you down. You will think about those words for a while, but put them out of your mind. In time, it will become like a foreign language and you will be able to stand back and look at those words as coming from the sickness of the person that spoke them. That is when you will be truly free and whole again. Believe in youself and know that forward and upward is where you have already begun moving! You made a choice of happiness and peace! I wish you the best in all of your new endeavors!

that I came back here. Because of all the places in the world for me to go, this has been the only place where I feel supported and encouraged.

Thank you to all of you.

StepMom

“Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong- sometimes it's letting go.”

Well you been busy while I had a 2 week break (working my ass off) I am sorry to hear all this and I hope you can get through it all with your strength in tact.

What he said is unforgivable, you know? somethings just are. He knows how much you want children, yet he says that, that is way under the belt huh?? If he said "you're a bitch or something like an angry spat that we all say spare of the moment, that can be forgiven, but this is something you will think about all the time, you know, even if he said sorry and you came home, you will hear that for as long as you love him and care what he thinks and maybe beyond. The word is cruel, that is a cruel thing to say and he needs more than a boot in his ass for that one.

But its amazing what we will put up with for love. Good luck and I hope you make the right decision for you, not for him or his kids.

Hugs
Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*

StepMom, I don't know how you put up with it for as long as you did! And for the record, you were a GREAT MOM to those kids. Now that you're gone, I *know* DH will finally realize it.

You deserve so much better. You know that, don't you?