Happy *others Day to me I suppose

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Happy *others Day to me I suppose

Submitted by Sarah101 on Sun, 05/11/2008 - 4:44pm.

I am renaming Mothers Day "Others Day" because once again, I have been ignored by my DH. No card. No "Happy Mother's Day" in the morning. No kiss. Nothing.

I suppose this day is for Others, and not me.

This morning I got up to mow the lawn (big lawn), because it needed mowing and I knew DH wouldn't do it. DH slept in, of course. Yesterday he had started the mower, and announced to me "that it runs." I suppose that was a hint...?

I had planned a lunch at my BD12's favorite restaurant, because her birthday is today (born on Mother's Day in 1996--how cool is that? Smiling ). Of course I drove DH and BD12 and GF. I guess DH was embarrassed that GF saw I had mowed the lawn on Mother's Day, and in the car DH announced twice that "On Mother's Day you can do anything you want and you like to mow the lawn."

I was completely insulted and just wanted him to SHUT UP. I guess I like to clean the kitchen, scoop the cat box, do the dishes and wash the laundry too, huh? Yeah. But because it was BD12's special birthday lunch, I didn't say anything in return.

At the lunch, DH decided to call it a "two-fer" and announced that it was a combo Mother's Day and Birthday lunch. I wanted to punch him. I was the one who planned the lunch for my daughter, and drove everyone there! He didn't plan a damn thing. GF even paid for the lunch.

After we returned, DH took off to spend time with his mother, and probably the Ex and his loser adult kids. Yes indeed, Mothers Day is special. I hope he remembered to get his mother and his Ex cards. Maybe even some flowers. He'll probably take the loser skids to dinner to celebrate.

Why am I always an afterthought at best? I recall that my Ex used to conveniently "forget" important days such as Mother's Day and my birthday because he was really angry and wanted to hurt me. He hurt me over and over. I got smart and dumped him.

Now it's happening all over again. Tomorrow I'll go to work and be asked, "How was your Mother's Day?" Do I lie like I did years ago when I was ignored then? Or do I tell th truth, "I was completely ignored and my DH went to spend time with his other family. "

No--I'll just paste a smile on my face and lie again this year--I don't want to make my colleagues uncomfortable. I'll tell them I received a nice card and flowers, and then my DH took me out to a nice dinner. All the while my heart will be breaking and I'll try not to mist over and cry. I know how this goes...I've been here too many times before.

So goes "Others Day" for 2008. Maybe next year will be better.

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If I lived anywhere near you

Submitted by KarmaQueen on Sun, 05/11/2008 - 5:17pm.

I would pick you up in a hour for a day of coffee, support, laughs and possibly tequila later on Evil . Stuff the rest of the world. I need a day off. And not just from work.

Evil Being my husbands third wife does not make me third rate. It just means he is a slow learner Evil

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After I had my son, my

Submitted by Mustang1 on Sun, 05/11/2008 - 5:22pm.

After I had my son, my exhusband wouldn't acknowledge me on Mother's Day. He wouldn't even wish me a happy Mother's Day. It was awful. When I told him how it made me feel, he told me, "You're not my mother."

My bf has always given a nice hanging basket or flowers to his mother on mothers day, and has always bought one for me, as well. This has meant the world to me. So, this year, he bought a hanging basket for his mother and I had a feeling that he didn't get one for me. I flat out asked him if he did. He said, "Did I do that before?" He honestly couldn't remember. His brain is shot sometimes...he has a lot on his mind with his business and lately can't remember squat. I let him know in no uncertain terms how much it has meant to me that he does this every year. I guess some people see it as petty or selfish, but I don't care. We were out yesterday buying annuals and vegetable plants, and afterwards he pulled out a beautiful red geranium and said it was for me. I'm glad I made my feelings clear. If I'd have kept quiet he would have unwittingly slighted me and I would have been PISSED.

I'm sorry your husband is being so insensitive...could you just tell him how you feel and that you would appreciate it if he made some effort for YOU on Mother's Day? Do you do anything for him on Father's Day?

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Father's Day ritual

Submitted by Sarah101 on Mon, 05/12/2008 - 5:08pm.

Yes, I always make sure my DH is recognized on Father's Day. I get a couple of cards--one from me and one "from" my BD12 well before the actual date, and we write nice things in them. He puts the cards on the mantle. If there's something DH wants or needs, I make sure he gets it and feels special.

This morning DH reminded me that "Last year I mowed the lawn on Father's Day!" just to make sure that I know that he suffers too. And to make sure that I realize, once again, that my hurt feelings are my own fault, and not due to any action on his part--or in this case, inaction.

In other words, if I feel hurt and angry, it's my fault, not his.

Well, it's different when you are appreciated by your family and happen to mow the lawn, as opposed to being completely forgotten on your special day and having it as a chore that "you enjoy."

This year I'll make sure he's appreciated on Father's Day once again. At the very least I have to set a good example for my daughter.

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I always buy my bf something

Submitted by Mustang1 on Tue, 05/13/2008 - 6:59am.

I always buy my bf something on Father's Day because his kids aren't even around usually to wish him a "Happy Father's Day". SO...this year when his mind went blank as to whether or not he got me a plant for Mother's Day, I reminded him of all of the things I've gotten him for Father's Day.

The thing is, if you get him a card and a gift or whatever, and mention that he didn't do the same for you on Mother's Day, will he just say something stupid like, "Well, that was your choice..." to place the blame back onto you? I'd be sure I had that baseball bat handy!!

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We may not be our DH's

Submitted by SteppieMary on Sun, 05/11/2008 - 5:46pm.

We may not be our DH's mothers...although there are some that like to be mothered LOL
We are still the Mother to their Bio-childre and Step-children...whichever the case may be and in some cases both.
I feel like we should at least be acknowledged in the capacity of being Mother's to their offspring.

"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN" Sad

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Sarah,

Submitted by everythinghappe... on Sun, 05/11/2008 - 6:08pm.

Sarah, I am with Karma Queen...if I was close enough, I would come and take you out for our own Mother's Day celebration!

Hugs,
Corie

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I'm crazy, not Stupid...I Always got stuff for My SOs for MD...

Submitted by CplStv on Sun, 05/11/2008 - 7:44pm.

I'm crazy, not Stupid...I Always got stuff for My SOs for MD, even before I had BS, and only had "Critter Babies"...
Mom always gets something small,at least, as well as Gramma, "Adopted" Mom's, etc. and ALL Mothers I was Close to, got a call..."Hell Hath No Fury, Like A Woman Scorned" is Too True to ignore...

I said Happy Mother's Day, To You in My General Post, and I'll say It again, specifically, Happy Mother's Day,Sarah !

Steve

Kids are the Best and Worst Things We can do to Ourselves. When We have nothing else worth living for, We'll go on, for Them, but Oh How We Miss Our Freedom...LOL

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Thanks!

Submitted by Sarah101 on Mon, 05/12/2008 - 5:10pm.

Thanks Corie and Steve! As a gift this year, I would like a baseball bat. The biggest baseball bat you can find, please!

Don't ask, don't tell. Eye-wink

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"Hell Hath No Fury, Like A

Submitted by Mustang1 on Tue, 05/13/2008 - 7:01am.

"Hell Hath No Fury, Like A Woman Scorned" is Too True to ignore...

You got that right!!! I know it and my bf is slowly learning this.

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You know something...

Submitted by Retired on Sun, 05/11/2008 - 9:56pm.

I think you hit it for me... you said

"Why am I always an afterthought at best? I recall that my Ex used to conveniently "forget" important days such as Mother's Day and my birthday because he was really angry and wanted to hurt me. He hurt me over and over. I got smart and dumped him."

That pretty much nailed it for me, I think. Hmmm.... That is a profound thought that I have never thought of before. That's pretty smart thinking.

I'm sorry. I feel the same way. Happy Mother's Day!!!!

Eye-wink StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

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be your own best friend today

Submitted by tuscanlady on Sun, 05/11/2008 - 10:54pm.

You know what? Enjoy what is left of today for YOU...have a bath, ignore loser DH, read a book, put on some nice music...whatever makes YOU happy...because when you don't have supportive people you can count on your own inner strength to get you through. If it makes you feel better, have a little cry (not around him though). Make sure you pamper yourself. If you can't do it today, schedule a day right now for this week no matter what. Go to the spa, buy some clothes for yourself, buy yourself flowers - and make sure you tell DH what you did it for when he asks - I did it to celebrate mother's day because you didn't do anything for me....and I LOVED it! Here's to a very strong woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxooxoxoxoxox - do not let anyone get you down or make you feel unworthy. You are a wonderful mother and deserve the best - so give that to yourself. Be your own best friend today.

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that sucks

Submitted by littlegrlzx4 on Mon, 05/12/2008 - 11:07am.

While your DH should be doing all the great stuff for you ONE day a year, the other folks here are right that sometimes, its in your own hands.

I hear ya though sister. Although my DH did organize some gift giving last week while his kids were with us, there was NOTHING yesterday. No card, no gift, nada. I went to my mom's for brunch with my 2 kids and let him stay home alone. He then had one of his friends come over and while I was wrangling my 2 kids and doing yard work, they were getting drunk in his office and watching zombie movies. Then, the friend decided to stay for dinner so my dinner went from grilled steaks to brats and sauerkraut, which I hate.

THEN, at the end of the day I told him that I was sort of frustrated by the fact that he was drinking and watching zombie movies while I was busting my hump around the house and he got mad at me because I was upset with him, and pouted until he left for a business trip today.

So on Fathers day, I'm having my sister over and we're drinking cosmo's in bed while watching Sex in the City. Better late MD than not at all.

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