Step Talk

WORLD'S MEANEST MOTHER

I had the meanest mother in the whole world. While other kids ate candy for breakfast, I had to have cereal, eggs and toast. When others had coke and candy for lunch, I had to eat a sandwich. As you can guess, my dinner was different too from other children.

My mother insisted in knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were on a chain gang. She had to know who our friends were and what we were doing. She insisted that if we said we'd be gone for an hour, that we would be gone for an hour or less.

I am ashamed to admit it, but she actually had the nerve to break the child labor law. She made us work! We had to learn to wash dishes, make beds, learn to cook and all sorts of cruel things. I believe she lay awake nights thinking up mean things for us to do.

She always insisted on telling us the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers she was much wiser, and our lives became rougher.

None of this tooting the horn of a car for us to come running. She embarrassed us no end by making our dates and friends come to the door to get us. I forgot to mention, while my friends were dating at the mature age of 12 and 13, my old-fashioned mother refused to let me date until I was 15 and 16.

My mother was a complete failure as a mother. None of us has ever been arrested, or beaten a spouse. Each of my brothers served his time in the service of his country. And who do we have to blame for this terrible way we turned out? You are right, our mean mother.

Look at all the things we missed. We never got to take part in a riot, burn our draft cards and a million and one other things that our friends did. She made us grow up into respectful, educated, honest adults.

Using this as a background, I am trying to raise my children. I stand a little taller and I am filled with pride when my children call me mean. You see, I thank God, He gave me the meanest mother in the whole world. I think the world could use more mean moms and dads.

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