Please help me!!
I have a BS 18 who will be leaving for college next month and found out today that my husband's children (SD's 10 & 14 and SS11) may be coming to live with us. I have raised my child and while of course I knew he had kids when we got together, I never thought there was a possibility that they could come and live with us. His 14 year old has had little to no contact with us in the past 2 years, she's a spoiled brat and when she doesn't get her way she is violent with the 10 and 11 year old and has been destructive with their things. BM has always given into her wants and she's out of control. I know she will bring nothing but negativity to our house and that will cause DH and I to have problems. The other 2 are okay, but they're all very needy and because of BM's guilt for her behavior, she has given them whatever they want.
I have such huge reservations about this and we have argued in the past about his "disney dad" mentality with them. I know that it will just get worse. When I think about them moving in, I get such anxiety that I'm thinking about leaving. I would never tell him to not bring the kids, I know they need him. I just don't think I can do it. There's been so much bad blood in the past and to bring that into my life on a full time basis makes me want to run.
I don't know what to do.....