Step Talk

So my husband and I were discussing our next assignment, trying to make sure it is together. Thought we were good when we decided to both get stationed overseas . Thought it wouldn't be an issue with the boys as my husband has full custody and she has visitation.
Thought wrong.
There is this tiny clause that states she has to have consent if he does get assigned in another country or else they live with her (provided the situation is stable where she is situated in her life). And she knew about this clause. So now, she wants the kids full time (although she has been saying this forever because wants the money from taxes). Don't care. We will fight to the death!
The boys can't wait to come home. They are excited. They both said it is nice to visit their mother but it is much nicer living with us. SS8 said "It is a nice to place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there." That kid cracks me up.
SS6 had his birthday last week. I tried to call but the signal was so bad it was devastating. They are totally alienated from me. It bugged them to say "I love you". My husband said not to take it personal. I am trying not to but ouch.
We are going to try to have a baby when I get back. It was originally going to be adoption but I don't think either of us has the emotional capacity to take on an older child with stability issues. But maybe we do ... Plus, why do most foster services (at least locally) advocate religion as part of the upbringing? What? If you aren't religious you can't raise a healthy,mentally stable, value driven child?
I am just venting on that last one. I am sure this isn't always the case. I just felt like we were being persecuted for not being church goers.
This is just a huge vent. I can't believe she caught us off guard that's all.