Step Talk

Many times I was asked if I would go on their school trips and I refused...their excuse was..you always go on your kids trips...I said that is right, MY kids trips. Get one of your parents to go on your trip with you; you have a mom & a dad. The skids thought I was terribly mean, but I thought, why go for them when they disrespect me in my own home so I am certain they will in public as well....nope, not gonna happen.

Screw that!! If they treated me better I would not hesitate...but it has to be there long before I would agree.

Corie

He volunteered you? Without even asking you first? And now he's telling you to cancel plans with your friends so HE can go out with his friends? Sorry, but that takes a lot of balls. You need to tell him to shove it where the sun doesn't shine. It's his kid. He can go on the field trip with her. And he can watch HIS kid so you can go out with your friends.

He can't volunteer you. He doesn't own you. Tell him they abolished slavery some time ago. Keep sticking up for yourself and just tell him NO, NO, NO.

You are way nicer than I would ever be. My husband doesnt dare to volunteer me for anything. Last weekend he asked me if I wanted to cook out on the grill. I said yes and exactly one minute later he was calling inviting his SD and 3 Gkids over. I got pretty ticked at him because he didn't ask me if I wanted company first. I was pretty frustrated with him and his kids and then he wanted more kids over??? I went upstairs and took a nap instead and left the cookout totally in his hands. He wound up cancelling it. HA

My point is you have a voice in your marriage. You are not DH's child where he can plan your schedule. In my younger years I allowed my ex H to manipulate me but then I had enough and stood up to him. I think you will get to that point eventually. You should never be afraid to speak your mind and you don't have to do what DH tells you to do.

"GO BACK TO YOUR BRIDGE YOU EVIL TROLL. YOU HAVE NO POWERS HERE"

Let her stink TO HIGH HEAVENS!! Just take a dab of vicks vapo rub under your nose and you won't smell a THING!

If you don't get support from your DH, don't do a THING for SD, don't enforce rules, don't read her stories, etc. etc.

I had to do this for my own sanity. They want us to play nursemaid, nanny (of course w/o any disciplinary authority or rules) and librarian story time reader while at the same time being totally treated as a 2nd class citizen.

Believe me, it's much better when you "drop out" and let DH do all the ultra high maintenance work!!

WTF?! I'd have called the school and said, "Sorry, I realize my husband signed me up for this, but I cannot do it." If he gets embarrassed enough times, he'll stop doing it.

♥ Georgia, the un-stepmom ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)

You DH needs to call SD on her behavior...such as "your act of screaming and throwing a fit are not going to get you anywhere...we're onto you and your act...it will no longer be allowed...we are the adults and you are the child and we as adults and parents know best.." You get the idea I stuck my nose in enough and called SK's on their "convincing" behavior when they got caught in a lie and DH finally realized that tears don't always mean truth. Until your DH admits to himself and calls SD on it...she will continue to do it...he's gotta lay down the law!!

"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN"

I have shower issues with little girl (7). I make her get back in. If need be I soap her down. She has told her share of stories... DH sees them and calls her on them. I love little girl... I do her just as she were mine... she doesn't scream at me or dh... never has. If she misbehaves she looses privilages... TV, gameboy, treats... whatever. It still happens every now and again... but even bio kids push boundries.

I believe that DH should step up and stop letting an 8yo tell him what is what. Let the girl scream until she gets frothy... if it doesn't work for her she will stop.... eventually. This is what your DH needs to realize... it may just be annoying now, but what is is going to be in 5 years and she's lying about some boy? Or arguing w/him about what she can and can't do.

Regarding the field trip - I wouldn't go and I would make it known that I would not be doing those kinds of things again. Period. HE can go...and have fun managing a group of hooligans! hee hee.

As for the not bathing, my SD8 has the exact same problem. The BM looks ratty a lot of the time and her hair is all over the place so I think SD got it from her. Both skids say they 'hardly ever have to take a bath at the other house' - I say I don't care, I don't want dirty bodied kids in my house so they have to take a bath twice a week (that's sometimes the only times they are with us). But she hardly brushes her hair (SD I mean) and it's a constant battle for clean clothes with both of them.

I gave up and I'm determined to make sure my bio-kids have clean clothes, brushed hair, teeth & look respectable. There is nothing else I can do but try with my skids...I think it's a common problem though in stepfamilies. It seems it's usually from the BM's side - filthy...blech ;(

I have told my DH this recently as well. You can't have this both ways; on one hand your DH is negating your efforts to help him with his child but on the other he volunteering you for parental duties. He needs to make up his mind about what he really wants here. Does he want your help parenting or just what is convenient and nice? I call Bullsh!t on him.

~Evil

If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~Abigail Van Buren

anyone to do anything because I would be disrespecting and controlling them. And, if someone did volunteer me for something I think I'd laugh all the way to the nail salon.