BF received call last night from BM "inviting" him to go to a meeting with an orthopaedic surgeon regarding SS5's and that one leg is 1/16 of an inch longer than the other!! WTF!!???
Anyway, since the separation almost 4 years ago and subsequent divorce, BM who is a total drama queen and a popularity whore has grasped at straws to try and find "disabilities" in the three skids!! Oldest SS11 is on ADHD medication (which can cause cardiac arrest) since age 8, SD9 is on asthma medication AND BM has most recently had her tested for "learning disabilities" since she refuses to do her schoolwork. Of course BM won't spend any actual TIME with SD and her classwork b/c she is too busy running her OWN popularity contest (scout leader, community chorus member, etc. etc.)
This is also a ploy for more CS since the cosmetic ortho bill for oldest SS11 is ending soon (in Sept) and she needs something else to keep the CS up high! BF right now is paying over 50% of his income in CS; he pays his base 29% and of course, BM has tacked on all sorts of "extras"
What recourse do we have? BF will NOT go for custody since here in NYS, the anti father sentiment in the family courts is so strong. They would rather give kids to the foster care system than to the fathers. We ought to know since BM IS a FOSTER CARE WORKER who routinely takes children away from their dads, knows how to work the system and is proud of it!
She's already filed one phoney abuse report on us which I managed to get overturned after 6 mos of effort.
We're thinking of writing a neutral letter to the doctors involved stating our concern over BM's descent into madness and how it is effecting the children. BM definitely exhibits all signs of narcissistic personality disorder and having children with so-called "disabilities" is the icing on the cake for her. She'll have that much to gab about and garner attention for herself, which she does non-stop.
The skids ALWAYS talk about their "aches and pains" when we first get them for EOW, but as the BM's influence slowly dissolves hour by hour, the skids are running and playing normally with no issues OR MEDS whatsoever!!
Advice?
Well....
I don't know if this qualifies as Münchhausen's by Proxy as that is more extreme (as in parents suffocating their kids to the point that they pass out or worse, die, in order to gain attention from other people for their loss.
BUT....I would talk to an attorney on her abusing the medical system in order to gain financially. That is a crime too. Might be hard to prove, but that's where the attorney will be better at giving advice. We had a case in my county, that was actually a guy DH works with so we knew the personal story, not just what was in the paper.
This guy had an affair during his marriage like 15 years ago, before he and his wife had kids. Now they have two small children, around 6 and 8. The woman from the affair had a child after he ended the relationship, but it was his. So he was ordered to pay support, but had no parental rights of visitation, nor did he want them as he was trying to work out his marriage, and I personally believed the woman got pregnant in an attempt to force him to leave his wife.
Anyway, all these years she has been taking her son in for every conceivable procedure or diagnosis. He has been forced to pay all of it all along, and this woman continues to try to disrupt his relationship with his wife.
But then she decided financial ruin was not enough revenge. She decided her son had a right to have a relationship and visitation with his half sibs, and took this man to court.
BUT...before the case was over she blabbed it ALL to the local paper. The article appeared the night before the trial.
The judge was OUTRAGED and sided completely with the guy, as well as reducing his financial obligation for med reimbursement.
PM and I'll try to find the link to the articles in the paper.
The case itself may help you figure out what to do next. Not sure, but there must be some sort of guidelines for extortion through the medical system.
“I never gave away anything without wishing I had kept it; nor kept it without wishing I had given it away.” ~Louise Brooks
PS....
I would demand a second opinion from a reputable Chiropractor. They will never back up surgery and this may help your case.
“I never gave away anything without wishing I had kept it; nor kept it without wishing I had given it away.” ~Louise Brooks
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