Step Talk

Well, H finally got home on Friday night- I had cleaned the house and made kuba.
He got in a fight with SD that night about her wanting to go out. He didn't want her to, but she went.
When he got home, he was all nice to the cat "Hi cutie, come here, come see me"----acting all excited to see the cat- I told him look how you behave to the cat, and you haven't even given me a hug- he said, "you didn't hug me either"..so we hugged.

SD didn't come home. I drank a lot of wine that night, and woke up on Saturday feeling very ill. I didn't tell anyone why I didn't feel good.

SD, my son, and I went to the mall. H was at the JCC like he does always on weekend mornings. So when we got there, SD called and asked him, without asking me first "If I find a pair of jeans I like and Chava buys them for me, will you pay her back?" He said yes. He didn't know that she didn't ask me first.
We didn't end up buying anything, but went to lunch, which of course I paid for.

When we got home, she tried to call in sick to work, but her boss wouldn't let her. She was having a date that night with a Chaldean(Christian arab) guy and I told her I thought it was good, and she should tell her dad and that he has no right to be upset, because not only did H MARRY someone who was Christian(his ex), but H himself is actually an arab who is jewish. Chaldeans are from Iraq, and H's parents are also from Iraq. So I see no conflict. But she did ask to borrow my perfume. This is the only bottle of perfume that I have left in the house- everything else is at work. I let her. This morning I had to get it out of H's car.
It's got only a drop or two left.

I don't know why she is driving H's car and he is driving hers. He's basically given up on his own car, and is driving hers everywhere. This morning, he left to the JCC in her car, and left his own parked in the driveway. I shouldn't be mad because at least I'm still driving my own, right? I don't know, it bothers me because why should he, at his age, the breadwinner, etc, be driving the old used car he meant for her, while she drives his trailblazer?

Then H went over to his ex's house for a while. With SS.

When he got back he and I drove to this place to pick up a caddying uniform for his son, and then we were going to a store for pet stuff.

My son was with us.

I had been talking to an old friend from Denmark, and had asked H if he had ever been there. He said yes.

I asked him about places he'd like to go and hasn't been, just to make conversation, not a plan....he told me some places.

I told him that I still really want to go to Russia. I was a russian language minor in college, and now work with russian immigrants...i've always wanted to go and H has a friend who owns a very nice apartment in Moscow, and who said we could stay there anytime if we would visit. H says this friend is working on a big project and wants to involve H- and that his friend wants him to come over.

I told him, don't even think about not taking me. My son is going to spend a month with his grandparents, and I would be able to go.....

First he said, if he goes, it will be for business, and no one's coming with him. I said, that I have been many places with him for business, and this is the one place I want to go more than anything(even more than Italy, which, if anyone who reads my blog remembers, he decided to take his daughter, and leave me at home, even though I studied opera in college, and am very good friends with the wife of H's boss who lives there)

Anyway, he said he wouldn't even take me to Russia. He actually said "I WOULDN"T TAKE A SANDWICH TO A RESTAURANT"

He said this with a very serious look on his face. A lot of times, I'd laugh at something like that, but at this time, he was looking serious, and also, if he really wouldn't take me with him there, I just don't know...

SO finally he said, he has not interest to go to russia, he doesn't care to go there, he will not go there, if his friend wants him to go there for business, he'll send his other partner.

I just feel that a man who really loved me, would see an opportunity to take me somewhere he knows I really want to go, and make the arrangements, happily.

And I heard from SD that H is planning to take SS to Israel this summer. Well, he knows that I really want to go back there.

When we went last summer, he made sure SD got to take a trip to Netherlands. He made sure to invite SS, but he declined. He said he didn't want to go because I was going.

Anyway, he always makes sure the kids have opportunities to go places. He will not do the same for me, I guess.

I really don't know what's going on in his head lately.

Maybe he's testing me- I don't know.

So last night, H didn't feel like eating, and I wanted a steak. I went upstairs, came back down, and he was ordering me a steak carry out dinner. That's a surprise at least.

I felt sick all day, but was feeling a little better after eating that.

Today he's on the walk for israel, and I'm at work. He said a whole bunch of israelis have decided to come over and watch the russian/israeli soccor game on tv. Well, I really don't want to be around for that. I wanted to be at the walk for israel, but now I'm not sure about going home until this whole thing's over.