Yes, it gets worse as they get older. My SD16 still walks shoulder to shoulder with dad while we are out. She sits next to him at restaurants. She pouts when she's not the center of attention with him.

When he is paying attention to me instead of her she starts "hey daaaad..." or she'll start trying to be playful and aggravate him the way I do as his SO.

I guess I should feel lucky she isn't sitting in his lap, but still its gross. My friends see it, my mom see's it. Its just gross.

My SD6 does this shit constantly and I can't stand it. No matter what, she is trying to hold his hand, sit on his lap, get in between us. She even suggested that he not stop the shopping cart for me to put groceries in it. I can't stand her clinginess. I tell her to stop hanging on him whenever he isn't within earshot. I doubt it will get better.

What would be the long term end result if you just let the kid have her Dad when she's visiting?

I've not experienced this and have no education in the subject but I'm wondering if you let her and Dad deal with it (without you complaining to Dad) if she would outgrow it as she approached adulthood and discovered boys. My point being she's forced into competition as long as you compete whereas if you retire the field there's nothing to compete over. You and Dad never hold hands, don't sit together, never share more than a peck of a welcoming kiss etc etc.

Just some thoughts but I think it would make a interesting experiment for one summer. If it was working then continue......

I think it could in part be because she doesn't see DH a whole lot.

I also think its partly because divorce isn't natural. We as humans have never been wired to want divorce or think it's natural. We're wired to want our parents together and be brought up in an intact, loving family. And I really think that divorce can and does throw some people off a healthy course of maturation because it isn't natural. So when we get thrown off course like that, we display behaviors we normally wouldn't.

Also,a lot of it depends on how BM and DH conduct themselves. How has BM handled things?

This "little girlfriend" syndrome can last unless something is done about it. Don't allow it to become a set pattern and you can take control of it sometimes too. Sounds like DH is working on it.

I married with 3Skids (all teenagers - 2SD, 1SS). One SD would always be hanging on to daddy's arm for pictures or when we were walking anywhere - from the car to movies, or church, etc. Unfortunately, my DH didn't get it. I would just get out and clutch his other arm and trying to balance us both on his arms was enough for him to release his SD.

Once during a family photo, I was setting up camera and SD was clutching on to Daddy's arm or hugging him around his waist and I said, "Uh, SD, I will be standing next to DH in the photo, I am, afterall his wife" and then I'd go in between them. Loved seeing the shocked pouty face and DH with his stupid blank express and not knowing what to say. Those were the times I wished DH get a spine. He never did.

I have since disengaged as much as possible from this selfish-needy-girl and DH is still clueless to the fact that I have.

Is this how daughters at that age act around their fathers? I don't remember being so clingy or in need of hugs from daddy when i was growing up, but then my family dynamics was quite different. I would like to know about this. This was one thing that bothered me a bit too. It looked like she constantly needed to be on daddy's side or holding his hand and stuff. It is funny it seems to be so prevalent.

Yep, I have been there too! My FSD (11) is just as bad. She is now finally starting to realise that I am daddy's girlfriend and she is his daughter, but she still goes to sit in the middle of the sofa so that we have to sit either side of her. But we have both worked her little schemes out and we sit elsewhere. She too tries to get in on 'adult converstions' . The worst bit at the moment is her then trying to tell her little sister (6) what to do. Like she is the adult and the little sister is the child. This causes arguements between the girls. She really is testing my patience at the moment. She wants to be the 'alpha female' and I will not have it.....

Uggggghhhhhhhhh I have 3! SDs 19, 16, 13 and they ALL do this. It's so fucking annoying.

We don't see SD19 very much at all, but her texts to him are enough. Thank goodness FDH is only seeing her offsite due to her attitude with me.

But SD13 and SD16 do come around and this is the thing that irritates me the most about them.

When we are out in public THEY will hold his hand.I am left at the sidelines, like I thought I was the Future Wife!

SD13 will take pictures with him sitting on his lap, kissing him on the cheek and post them on her FB. Then my friends will see them and be like It's so fuckin weird.

I talk to FDH about it all the time and he just brushes it off. He has guilty daddy syndrome and doesn't want to hurt their feelings.

I have been avoiding the kids on the weekends that he has them, so I haven't seen them do it lately, but as soon as I do, I am going to say something to THEM.

I get it that they want attention from their dad. However I know for a fact when I was their age, I was not acting like that with my dad. And I am a step child too. LOL.

My SD5 likes to give my DH kisses that are really long.. she will hold his head down. It finally got to a point that grossed him out and he was like "I like short kisses". She never tries to give me long kisses so I really think she is using my DH as her experiment or something. I've also caught her masturbating alot lately like basically out in the open.. it is quite disgusting.

Same situation but with a boy...My SS does this same thing. He wants my DH to do everything for him, wants to be held or sit in DH's lap all the time (only when I'm sitting next to DH), interrupts when DH is talking to me and basically follows DH around all damn day, every day. Anytime I try to do anything for him, he throws a screaming fit because "daddy" didn't do it. He's 3, so it may be partly his age, but my kids are 3 and 5 and don't do it nearly as often as SS. DH finally got fed up. He started telling him to be quiet when we're talking if he tries to interrupt, won't hold him or let him sit in his lap if we are having "our" time, and told him that if he wants something, he's gonna have to deal with me sometimes or do without whatever he's wanting. I think the only solution is for DH to put his foot down or it just gets worse. I can already imagine how this one's gonna go for us as he gets older...

SD10 is really clingy like that to my DH. Luckily, he recognizes it. He won't let any of the kids sit between us at church or when we are sitting anywhere, and when we are alone together and get interrupted, he won't let them continue. SD10 is worse than the other three... she literally follows DH around everywhere, and is right at his elbow no matter what he is doing. He constantly has to tell her to back off. I suggested to him that if he made time do some one-on-one with her, that it might cut down on her attention-seeking. So he tries to do that.

The thing that bothers me the most is when she stands around listening to adult's conversations (even if it's not anything she CAN'T hear, but it's just adults trying to converse), like she belongs there. I wish DH would tell her to go away then!

I think a lot of those boundaries need to come from the DH.

I can completey relate to you and I sincerely wish you luck in fixing this issue. As bad as this sounds, I was an SM to grown children my first marriage (SS & SD both in their early 20's) as I was very young, naive and stupid once and married an older man with grown kids.....I was absolutely SICKENED by this issue as I had a 23 year old SD who would come to our home to have her Father rub her feet!!! She would come over and as soon as she showed up....the ex husband and former SD would lay on the couch together each with their heads on the other end of the arm of the couch.....my ex would massage and rub her feet for hours AND THEN she would rub his back!! I remember being so grosses out and actually questioning their relationship with one another with thoughts I never wanted to think!! Needless to say that was one issue and thus a divorce was quickly pending. Please don't allow this to happen to you!!