Step Talk

yes, it does sometimes cause problems, even if your HD is the best in the world, he is still going to feel a little hurt, it's human nature.
The best thing you can do, is make a album with EX and your daughter and maybe even put all of the ones of you in there too, put it AWAY for when she is older, or maybe about to leave home and give it to her. It is also within her rights to have a framed photo of her dad in HER room, but also be sensitive to your HD. Would you want a photo album of his EX displayed in your home?
Just a suggestion!
hangingin

hangingin

I'm glad I could be of some help!

hangingin

My DH had the same thing - boxes & albums of old photos of them. One of her tactics during her cheating/divorce was to tear up photos of them and leave them everywhere, but she left the photos of herself in the albums (she's a narcissist). I hated seeing her ugly face and so did my husband surprisingly. My DH took the rest of the photos, albums and everything, put them in a cardboard box and left it on her front doorstep. Maybe she can look back on them when she realizes what damage she did to so many people including her children and another woman's children.

I have rules in my house - no BM on my doorstep or in my home, no BM phone calls (she can call his cell if it's about the kids ONLY and only if needed, otherwise she must email), and no photos of BM anywhere. I should put a sign on my door instead of 'welcome to our smoke-free home' - 'welcome to our BM-free home - no shit here!' haaha. I'm not bitter

Not just ones of her, but any with him and SD in them, or DH's family. He had a whole album from his West Point days that she had told him was missing for years. Well, when I showed up she took all the pics she had taken when she moved out and put them in paper grocery bags, then left them on her sister's car when her sister was at work. Three bags full of pics and photo albums. She said it was b/c her new fiance hated them. I found out later that wasn't true because he and his first wife's daughter went to school with my youngest son and I ran into each of them on separate occasions. Both BM's fiance and his ex expressed that he didn't have a problem with DH or me at all. He was really congenial and his ex told me that they were still very good friends. I just knew he wasn't jealous.

Years later I finally convinced BM's sister to loan us the photos to copy. In the bags I found the West Point album that she claimed years ago was lost in a move. BUT

I also found several cd's and a letter from a man (who is now BF number 2) who she was seeing at the same time she was seeing her fiance. It was obvious that she was sleeping with both, but BF number two was an "affair" that fiance didn't know about. I think she really was trying to hide those things and told her sister it was about getting the pics of DH out of the house.

By the way, DH refused to give back his family/ West Point pics. I am still worried this will get BM's sister in trouble. But I left that up to him.

I reorganized the stuff as best I could so if BM ever asked for it back she wouldn't miss them. Honestly, she's so impulsive I wonder if she even remembers who she gave them to or if she threw them away.

She is nuts after all.

So I scanned tons of pics for DH to be able to give them back. But I don't feel any jealousy. The only thing I ever did was take the 8 x 10's that SD had up on her walls, of them TOGETHER down. If BM would have been a nice person I would have let SD have them. Now since they're scanned we're throwing the large originals away. If someday SD wants to blow that up into a huge poster on her dime and paper her walls with them, fine. I don't have to visit.

“I never gave away anything without wishing I had kept it; nor kept it without wishing I had given it away.” ~Louise Brooks

Your daughter's childhood is what should be respected here. Don't separate them (the pix)----show them to your daughter & then put them away with the rest of the pictures.

My husband has some pix with his X in them (put away) as I do with my X. You can't erase your past, it wouldn't be good for you or your daughter. Now if they were cheaters/beaters/or serial killers---that would be a different matter.

see, I like to keep my screensaver on a slideshow that rotates through all my pictures. There are so many that it lets me review them through out the day. I definatley don't want pictures of my ex popping up every once in a while. That would be awkward. Also I have big group pictures with all my extended family at my grandmothers funeral and reunions and such with the ex in it. I would love to keep these pictures out, so i cropped the ex out of them, I feel guilty but what choice did I have.

I have a LOT of Pics from The 10 Years I was with My Ex,(and Videos)as well as other Exes, Freinds, Family etc. They're all packed away, in My "Study/Doghouse/etc.", and The Pics My Old Lady has of/with Her Ex are packed away, scanned to disc, and put away, or the Kids have them, in THEIR Collections.
I wouldn't care if the kids had pics of Both Parents, much...it would bother Me occasionally,if I had to see them, I'm Sure.
Hell I've even taken Pics for My Kids of Them With/At Their Fathers, at P/U or D/O. The Only Photos on Display around the House are Landscapes, etc. most of which We've taken Together, or Family.

Steve

Kids are the Best and Worst Things We can do to Ourselves. When We have nothing else worth living for, We'll go on, for Them, but Oh How We Miss Our Freedom...LOL

my childrens father died almost 5 years ago. i scanned all the pictures of them and there father in them ( from baby on) found some sentemantel music and made a video for them on my computer.
if you dont have the program to do it yourself thers professional
places that can do that also. I did one for my new hubby and his son,and then i did one of just ME and my kids, i'm working on my wedding video now. anyways that way they can pop it in and watch when they want, then store all the pictures somplace safe for them later, my kids do have pictures of there dad in there room. not to sound so cold but we were divorced a year before he died, but for my kids sake i took the time to put this project toghther, it turned out great.

I have all of my DH's pics with BM upstairs in the attic for the kids when they are grown. I feel this way. He and I both had our pasts and that history is the part of both of our children's lives. I want my skids to have their pics. I have pics of my EH and to be honest I don't think twice about it.

"GO BACK TO YOUR BRIDGE YOU EVIL TROLL. YOU HAVE NO POWERS HERE"

My step-son has a picture of him with both his parents in his room, but oddly enough, it's my DH that has him keep it in his nighttable. HE doesn't want to see it! I personally don't care if the kids wanted to have pictures of their mom in their rooms. I don't have to go in there, especially since I'm making them put their own laundry away, dust and vacuum on their own!

I have scrap-booked their mother's into the pages I have done for the kids because there is only 1 roll of SS with both parents that we found here and a few of SD with both parents that her BM left. I even gave her BM the doubles when things were nice. I feel that to "erase" the other parent from the pics is to deny the kids of who they are. Just because I wasn't there doesn't mean it's not important to the kids. I have taken some of each child's newborn pics and added a tag to the page listing: parent's names; place, day, time, weight, and height at birth. I feel that gives them a chance to remember that at one point, both parents got to love the children at the same time.