I need opinions about this..... SD16 moved out to live w/crazy BM in Feb, since then, we haven't seen her. She did come by once to "move her things out", beyond that, nothing. She does call DH about once a week. Anyway, both SD's and BM are major drama starters, 24/7. DH umpires and my boys play baseball @ a field close to our home. Last yr, SD worked there as a scorekeeper and worked the concession stand. This year, since she moved over 30 miles away, I was hoping she would not be working the ball field this year.
She informed DH 2 wks ago that she was indeed making BM bring her 30+ miles to the ballfield to work. Don't ask me why. I felt this was "OK" until late last week she started some drama with me and DH. SD18 is pregnant and DH isn't going to be allowed to see the baby? Don't have a clue why. She was flaunting it in DH's face, etc. Today I told him I didn't want her to be at the ball field, there is no need. This is a very tight nit league, and I don't need her lies making us look like bad parents (she's good at that). Plus, she would be bringing pics of the baby up there and showing them around, etc. Not fair to DH. Anyhow, I asked him to call her today and politely ask her not to come there to work. (he expressed not wanting her there either) He got angry with me and told me to take the high road. I told him I have been taking the high road with his kids for far to long and I am tired of it. Later in the day, I sent her a text (politely) asking her not to work at the ball field. She calls DH screaming that she is never going to speak to him again and she won't be working the ball field.
Maybe I shouldn't have sent the text, and I apologized to him for that. Then he starts telling me I am selfish and not thinking about her. WTF? When do I get to NOT think about her feelings for once and do what I want. All I wanted was for my feelings to matter to him MORE than hers for once, just ONCE. So, don't I have the right to feel comfortable watching my boys play ball w/out her staring me down and talking about me to all the people up there? We live in the 16th largest city in America, it's not like she can't find a real job. Am I wrong, should I have just sucked it up, again? If I am wrong, I will apologize and move on, but I really do think I deserve to spend time with my kids not having to worry about "offending" her, etc.
Thirty miles? Each way?
Thirty miles? Each way? Good Lord. Clearly there's ulterior motives involved. It's amazing how when you think one issue has been solved, some people always find ways to hover around and stir things up. If it wasn't your text message that caused problems, it would have been something else.
ME TOO!
I completely understand where you are coming from! My feelings are rarly considered when it comes to the skids and how they feel about me! They really don't care about anyone but themselves. Which is a shame because if they did their lives would be a lot easier. If it weren't for me they wouldn't have most of the opportunities that they have today. However, they are making bad choices and believing that their bm has their best interests in mind, when all she wants is a paycheck. Sorry, about the bitterness! It just seems to me that teens these days just don't care abbout anyone but themselves and we as atep parents just get caught in the middle of skids and their parents. It isn't a fun job but just keep remembering why you married your DH in the first place. That is about the only thing that is getting me though our tough times here. Maybe it will help you because it sounds like times are really tough right now.
The good thing is you got
The good thing is you got what you wanted, she won't be working at the ballgame. Why would anyone ask somone to drive 60 miles RT to work a minimum wage job? Who is going to look after the baby while she works?
The good thing is you got
The good thing is you got what you wanted, she won't be working at the ballgame. Why would anyone ask somone to drive 60 miles RT to work a minimum wage job? Who is going to look after the baby while she works?
IMHO
I don't think you're wrong to want a little peace. I'm of two minds about the text - a small part of me feels that you should have gotten your husband on board abt contacting SD16 before you did it, but given the situation, SD16 was clearly making choices for maximum negative impact on you and you have every right to take steps to defend yourself and your kids.
Do what you need to do
You wanted her to stay away, so you made sure to get that msg. across. I don't see anything wrong with that. She was obviously just trying to cause problems for you and your kids anyway. Maybe your DH is upset because you stood up for you both, since he I guess wasn't going to? But its done and worked out ok, so don't worry over it more honey! Have a fun summer with your kids instead!
"In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer." -Albert Camus
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