what do you guys think of women having three kids with three fathers? do you find it sane and normal for kids to see this and be part of it? especially when theyve had several stepfathers in there.
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too many too many fathersSubmitted by guiltystepmom on Tue, 07/10/2012 - 12:32amwhat do you guys think of women having three kids with three fathers? do you find it sane and normal for kids to see this and be part of it? especially when theyve had several stepfathers in there. |
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i don't know if it is
i don't know if it is necessarily normal (although i do know perfectly normal people who were married 3 times), but it is what it is. i don't really understand your question. i doubt anyone actually plans on having 3 kids from 3 men and it is not like they can change it after the fact.
i cant even get pregnant if i
i cant even get pregnant if i want to LOL (too late now but just saying, i only have one from my marriage), other women get pregnant every time they have sex
agree in some sense...G_d
agree in some sense...G_d does not decide for us when to have sex though LOL
My granny was quite a
My granny was quite a character too. Still miss her
She was so funny and wise. I go by lots of things my granny told me. She used to tell me that all family problems come from lack of boundaries and misunderstanding one's role. I see how right she was every day.
i agree it is better to
i agree it is better to leave, i just don't think one needs to get pregnant that often although in the past there was no access to birth control
I missed about black dick LOL
I missed about black dick LOL Couldn't you just ask to show it to you without doing it? It doesn't take long to see if it is big.
I agree. My 1st marriage did
I agree. My 1st marriage did not work for me and I left (no molesting or abusing anyone, just not a good match)
But you have to also agree that if someone hooks up with 4 different men and have a kid with each of them, then they are making unwise choices in the first place.
Why aren't they getting to know these people first before committing or even having sex?
Sure, one should leave when relationship is bad and we all make mistakes and I could see that a woman could end up with a molester, abuser, or other bad type of guy. But if every man she hooks up with is this type, then where is her responsibility in this? Don't they fund out that the guy is abuser and molester prior to committing?
I dated some jerks too,
I dated some jerks too, didn't we all...
WTF??? You thought that
WTF??? You thought that breast feeding would prevent pregnancy??? Perhaps you should've educated yourself more on birth control & less on whether black dicks are bigger.
Seriously, if your feeling is that husbands are disposable, how can you talk about women not being willing to put in the work or effort to make a long-term commitment?
Your choices have been wreckless & irresponsible, & you seem to fail to recognize that your choices impact your children.
"Women are angels & when someone breaks our wings we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible like that."
Just sharing my thoughts.
Just sharing my thoughts. That's what we do on public forums.
I have been divorced. I left an abusive man. I don't think it's wrong to leave a marriage where people are being mistreated. I was responsible enough not to bring children into a marriage with a man who feels entitled to mistreat people.
No, this place isn't beneath me. My life is far from perfect. I've gotten a lot of good advice & insight here. I've had people share thoughts that were painful to hear, but I wasn't closed to hearing them.
I'm not sure why your focus is on welfare. I never mentioned anything about it, but I also have never been on it. I don't take issue with people who do/have so long as it's used as intended & people aren't breeding on it.
There are consequences for every choice we make & unfortunately your kids are bearing the consequences for your choices. The issue I have is failure to act responsibly with children involved.
Like everyone else, I have the freedom to post my thoughts, & like everyone else, you have the freedom to take them or leave them.
"Women are angels & when someone breaks our wings we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible like that."
No, my kid will NEVER have to
No, my kid will NEVER have to ask one of yours for a job. GUARANTEED!
I never said you failed. Just that, IMO, the choices you made were irresponsible.
"due to the fact that I am on my last warning I can't tell you how you came across and what I would have done if you stated your opinion to my face."
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That's cute!
"Women are angels & when someone breaks our wings we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible like that."
I DO know for sure. Again,
I DO know for sure. Again, simply sharing my thoughts.
Have a great day!
"Women are angels & when someone breaks our wings we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible like that."
OK - seriously! Please read
OK - seriously! Please read what you wrote back to yourself out loud. Can you honestly say that it was not incredibly condescending? What is with everyone today???
SKIDs = Soul Killing Insanity Devices
Maybe your blood is up right
Maybe your blood is up right now and you can not see it. Please come back and read it objectively.
SKIDs = Soul Killing Insanity Devices
I don't think anyone here
I don't think anyone here accepts or condones such irresponsible behavior. Not at all.
But it all happened years ago and bc1983 cannot change it, perhaps she came across defensive because she felt attacked. I think she knows she was irresponsible, but she could not change any of it. So no need to beat her down.
I see. I agree that stuff is
I see. I agree that stuff is just way crazy. I am bored today and find it entertaining. LOL
In many ways I do agree with
In many ways I do agree with what dondiva's saying--
I flipped out on with DH because he kept pointing out how many of our acquaintances had multiple marriages and children from previous marriages. I think it was like his 14th time pointing on of them out that I snapped.
I told him I never want to hear him point shit like that out again, because it comes across to me as though he's either rubbing my face in it or trying to constantly remind me.
His defense was that he was only trying to show me that we don't have it that bad.
Excuse the language, I was PO'ed when I said this to him.
I told him "It's because you, the media, and the rest of this fucked-up society now normalize things like illegitimate children and divorce and multiple marriages, partners, and cheating that people not find it acceptable to not be careful with who they procreate with. It's NOT NORMAL for me. What's NORMAL for me is being very careful about who I choose to be with and who I choose to have children with. Sure, shit happens, but I will try my best not to be the cause of that shit.
Okay, you know how you feel like our marriage is the most awesomest best thing that has ever happened? From now on I'm going to point out every divorcee who once thought their marriage was going to outlast everyone else's and tell you constantly that that's going to be us in x amount of years, that it's okay if we divorce and hate each other, or if I cheat on you and have babies with multiple partners because IT'S FUCKING NORMAL, RIGHT? Because all my friends around me have cheated on their partners, that means I can too, RIGHT?"
It shut him up, he has not mentioned it ever again. This was over about 2 months ago?
The truth is, we can find exceptions in it, about successful people, we may even know a few, or we are from broken homes and consider ourselves successful as well, but statistics show that a majority of those in the criminal system come from broken homes.
I'm also wondering what is
I'm also wondering what is going on today.
Why are so many going out of their way to understand this mess?
Many posters here are stuck with SKs that are the results of one night stands. No one ever defends those BMs.
Many posters here talk shit about their BMs that have several baby daddies. No one ever defends those BMs.
If a SM were posting this posters history\story, no one would be defending her.
amen!
amen!
Lots of women assume they
Lots of women assume they wouldn't get pregnant because they have no periods when they breastfeed. I had no periods while breastfed.
That's actually how my mother got pregnant with my brother while nursing me. Needless to say my mom and dad were (and still are) married to each other.
I think bc1983 cannot change what she did in the past as it has been many years ago and hopefully she made changes in her life. She can't do anything about it now.
EXACTLY!!!
EXACTLY!!!
I absolutely agree that when
I absolutely agree that when you have 1 mother with 3 different baby daddies, mom probably isn't making the best choices in the men she's involving in her children's lives.
If a woman believes husands are disposable, she's not a healthy frame of mind to be getting married.
If she's having children with multiple men she sees as being disposable, she's being an irresponsible mother to her children. Having babies with sexual predators & men with no work ethic & men who beat women, etc...what is she teaching her children??? Parents have a responsibility to teach their children how to grow up to be responsible adults. How can she teach her children responsibility when she can't be responsible herself?
Too many children are taught that parents are disposable. IMO, it's the parent who raises their child(ren) to believe that people are disposable who needs to be disposed of.
"Women are angels & when someone breaks our wings we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible like that."
THIS THIS THIS
THIS THIS THIS
I don't have a problem with
I don't have a problem with the # of fathers so much as the person's ability to take care of the kids. BM has 3 with 3 different men (well 2 right now but is due with #3 very soon). She has 0 custody of the older 2, not even visitation rights. But sure, have another one!!! This one's father is some drugged out loser living in someones attic, so you know he is really going to step up and be a parent!
See, and I don't even care if
See, and I don't even care if people are on social systems as long as they are on them in the manner they are designed for. A TEMPORARY help. Not a way of life. If you need food stamps for a couple of years so you can finish a training program or college or something so you can actually support your family then so be it.
I love you use my older 1/2 sister as an example. She got pregnant in high school and dropped out. She immediately got her GED and then got on section 8, daycare assistance and food stamps. She worked as a waitress and put herself through school. In less than 3 years she was 100% self sufficient and never looked back. She did what she had to do and managed to raise an amazing girl who is 17 now all on her own.
Excellent example of how the
Excellent example of how the social programs are supposed to be used - as a safety net and temporary help to a better life down the road. I have zero problem with my tax dollars going for this type of help. What I have a problem with is when it becomes a way of life - an expected paycheck.
Congratulations to your sister on her success. She should know that there are many people who do not begrudge her the assistance and are glad that there are programs to help people like her. Never ever should she be made to feel one second of shame and I truly hope she does not.
SKIDs = Soul Killing Insanity Devices
Nope, she did what she had to
Nope, she did what she had to do and did it all at 16/17 years old. I am proud of her and she is proud of herself. She is very successful, happily married, and a dedicated mother. Most importantly she raised her daughter to excel in school and have better priorities than boys
Her #1 goal was to not let history repeat itself and she did a great job.
It is a shame that stories
It is a shame that stories such as your sisters' do not get told very much. People would rather focus on the negative I guess. It makes better stories for the politicians and talk show hosts to scream about.
My sincerest best wishes to her and her daughter.
SKIDs = Soul Killing Insanity Devices
Glad it's not me-haha. That
Glad it's not me-haha. That seems a lot of drama and unrest. BM1 has three kids from three guys. Her relationships are very short lived because she is mentally ill (no, seriously, diagnosed). The kids look ok on the surface, but you bet some of their problems with lack of fathers in their lives will surface later in life. She is like the Wicker Man chick- traps guys, has sex, gets preggers and collects child support and never allows the guys to have any parenting time. And she is a teacher. Idk how she justifies any of this behavior or how she was allowed to keep her job, but none of this concerns me, really. People have the right to F up their own kids, I guess...
Most women I know with a
Most women I know with a bunch of baby daddies are on welfare or stuck in low paying, dead end jobs. They live in the projects or have some type of housing voucher. They get WIC and/or foodstamps. IF they get CS for any of the kids, the amount is so low it's a joke.
Tax time is like Christmas to them. If they work, they get a huge refund thanks to EIC (a form of welfare).
They tend to attract men who are lazy and are looking for a free ride~ free food, free or cheap rent and extra cash during tax time.
The poor kids grow up thinking all of this is normal and end up making the same choices.