OMG_Why_Me's picture

Spoiled 15 yo SD....what would you do???

I've been telling DH for several years that he and BM have overinduldged his children. I warned him that if things don't get under control we will soon have a teen age SD that is out of control.

Wel......I went down into the laundry room to start some laundry and found a sign hanging on SD's bedroom door. Her bedroom and my BS bedrooms are on the lower level of the house off of the game room.

Here's what the sign read:
Things not done?don't have
1. Robe
2. Slippers
3. Clothes
4. Shoes
5. Double bed
6. Fish tank
7. Smaller dresser
8 door painted
9. 4 new pillows
10. more lighting
11. ink for printer

We just finished a brand new bedroom for her and door is the last to be done. We gave her the paint but she expects us to do it all. She has a twin bed, 5 drawer dresser, desk and chair, night stand and smaller two drawer shelf in her room. She has recessed lighting in her room along with track lighting above her bed. she picked out the paint colors and carpeting herself. The room turned out very cute but of course she's not satisfied. Her robe is from last year and her slippers were taken back to moms house. DH pays over $1200 a month in CS for two kids, this is to include clothes. We provide pajamas and bathings suites, and other basics at the house so the kids will not need to pack as much. this SD is out of control. I told DH last night that he and BM need to deal with this spoiled child or they will have a daughter that won't be liked by anyone.

Apparently SD told her grandfather (BM's dad) that she wanted a race car for her 16th birthday. She bugged his so much about it that grandfather actually yelled at her and told her to "shut up!" It's starting to get to everyone.

do I disengage as recommended by another reader or try to help. I'm afraid I might fuel things with my input.....no one will really like what I have to say. Jawdropping!


janeyc's picture

Ha ha I would replace the

Ha ha I would replace the sign with one of my own making, simply stating NO!

marycecille's picture

I agree to this! Or put on

I agree to this! Or put on the sign, well if you want all of these then get a job!!!!!!!!!!!

Helena.Handbasket's picture

Only you know what will work

Only you know what will work in your situation.
I had to disengage from my spoiled SD16. When I pointed out (like you for years) to SO that she was spoiled, he only got offended and mad at me.

I disengaged and now he see's because he has to deal with her himself. I am not in the way for him to deflect her poor behaviors on to.

You can try to help, but in my experience, it only causes problems for you, no one else. Plus, unless dad is going to be consistent and also change, your help will do no good. Can't make anyone do anything. All you can do really is sit back and let them reap consequences.

There's no need to interact with me, I'm just here to observe. -Sheldon Cooper
Formerly *Alwaysanxious*

3familiesIn1's picture

Mmm, add a few entries of

Mmm, add a few entries of your own...

Respect
Appreciation
Chores
Lack of entitlement
Effort

oh oh oh and ...

Someone who gives a F!@#

Regulation #5
You are entitled to food, shelter and medical attention. Anything else is a privilege.

Tired...

OMG_Why_Me's picture

HAhahaha.....boy I wish I

HAhahaha.....boy I wish I could!

"Be the bigger person by ignoring the drama, and walking away!"

Ommy's picture

"GET A JOB" written at the

"GET A JOB"

written at the top of the list.

They make a chart showing your SO every dime, including CS that has gone to his DD the past few years compared to the amount of money that has gone into house repairs, or the other members of your family. Put it in black and white. If he doesn't wake up then take control of the house hold money, give him his own little budget for monthly spending, if he chooses to spend his monthly allowance on his DD then he will wake up when he runs dry.

OMG_Why_Me's picture

Maybe he could show it to BM

Maybe he could show it to BM also. I know we are paying more for the kids up bringing than she is. She has a very good job also working for the state. I'm not sure why we're paying as much as we do, especially since DH paid off the house and gave it to BM free and clear. he makes decent money, but we struggle to make our bills every month when BM is scheduling vacations to Mexico! it's crazy.......

"Be the bigger person by ignoring the drama, and walking away!"

Jsmom's picture

I like the "Get a Job"

I like the "Get a Job" comment. That is what my answer is to BS17 about things...Also, why is he paying CS if they are with you half the time...I would think that is really high and should be re-evaluated...

Everytime she asks have a standard reply...It does work, BS is now putting in applications.

OMG_Why_Me's picture

We're discussing that as a

We're discussing that as a matter of fact. We need to evaluate what he should be paying. I know he's paying too much. I think he needs to see it from the PA guidelines to believe it.

"Be the bigger person by ignoring the drama, and walking away!"

2ndclasscitizen's picture

wow, what does she think your

Jawdropping! wow, what does she think your house is, the ritz carlton with maid service? Geez, these kids..........

stepmisery's picture

Gotta love "GET A JOB" lol.

Gotta love "GET A JOB" lol. Just write it right smack at the top of the list.

OMG_Why_Me's picture

She works as a baby sitter

She works as a baby sitter all day three days a week. She makes $100 a week that she saves. She won't spend any of her money on anything. When we tell her "you have money, if you want it, go buy it." Her reply is. "it's not my job to buy those things for me, it's your job." We're not talking food or clothing or anything like that. We're talking about a new case for her iPhone, (which we pay for by the way), or a new cover for her Kindle Fire. She wants everything......gets everything.....and then wants more. I've never met a child like this before. I know it's not her fault. Her parents have created this little monster.
I just don't know how much more of this crap I can take.

"Be the bigger person by ignoring the drama, and walking away!"

Helena.Handbasket's picture

OMG what a spoiled snot!!!

OMG what a spoiled snot!!! Slap her when DH isn't looking.

This is why I could never share money with SO. I don't approve of how he spends it on skids.

There's no need to interact with me, I'm just here to observe. -Sheldon Cooper
Formerly *Alwaysanxious*

OMG_Why_Me's picture

I've kept most of our

I've kept most of our finances seperate for the same reason. Just tecently have we started sharing some bills/debts. The house is %100 mine and I plan to keep it that way. Eye-wink

"Be the bigger person by ignoring the drama, and walking away!"

just tired's picture

It's not my job to buy things

It's not my job to buy things for you. It's my job to TRY to deal with the mess your bio-parents have created. And your job....is to stay outta my face.

OMG_Why_Me's picture

Update on the demand list I

Update on the demand list I mentioned early on. SO talked to SD about this list. She told him that it wasn't a demand list just a wish list. She wrote it when she was pissed off at us and hung it on the outside of her bedroom door. She did this to hurt both of us and she still hasn't spoken to me since. No hello, bood bye, I hate you....nothing!

SO actually believed her! What a joke.... Sad

"Be the bigger person by ignoring the drama, and walking away!"