out of ideas's picture

help me

Need help making our family work...I'm about to turn 30 and my husband is 49. He's got a 19yr old son and I've got a 9yr old son and 7yr old daughter. The boys are mouthy and its a constant battle between them. Any ideas on what to do???

out of ideas's picture

Idk what to do. Someone give

Idk what to do. Someone give me some advice.

stepmisery's picture

What are the points of

What are the points of contact for the boys? With that age gap, they shouldn't be around each other much, esp the 19yo. Doesn't the 19yo work, go to school, or is otherwise basically out of the house all day?

It would help to give some examples of what is going on.

Echo's picture

The 19 year old is fighting

The 19 year old is fighting with the NINE year old?? Oh, hell no. Nineteen means old enough to get their own place.

If that's not do-able then as this 9 year old childs Mom, YOU need to law down the law to the 19 year old. Of course, having said that, the 9 year old is participating, too, so you need to reign your own child in, as well.

You're the adult. These are kids. You set the rules for behavior in your home and when there is unacceptable behavior, YOU law down the consequences. Firmly and consistently.

If these boys are fighting and "mouthy", it's because they've been allowed to behave that way. I'd probably be sitting my husband down and setting up a time line for the 19 year old to move out. Be careful....you do NOT want to couch those words to sound like "YOUR child is the problem and MY child is perfect. I want to throw YOUR child out of the house and into the street".

If it's important to you, you'll find a way. If it's not, you'll find an excuse.

Nobody can hurt me without my permission.
Mohandas Gandhi