I have been a SD now for over 9 years. I married my DW when my SS was 4 1/2. The relationship between my SS and me has been strained from the very beginning, even while my DW and I dated. We didn't date very long, only a couple of months before we were engaged, and then a couple months later we were married. My DW has always said that I'm too strict and hard on my SS. We now have 2 other kids together, and even when I'm just as hard on them, my DW says it's different because I love them, but I don't love my SS. While it's true I don't love him the same as my own bios, I do care for him.
Anyway, recently my SS dropped the bomb to my DW that he is moving in with his BF. He's threatened moving in with BF quite often the last 6 months when he's not getting what he wants. I've always just shrugged it off as his way to try and manipulate us since he's never mentioned once to his BF or SM he wants to live with them. I also shrugged it off to the fact that when he is at his BF's house, all they ever do is play video/computer games, camp, hike, rock hunt, etc. No chores, no bedtime..just do whatever you want whenever you want. My DW has always been on my case to be more kind and loving to my SS, and I feel that I really have tried, but she says I'm not doing good enough, and now it's my fault that she is losing him. My SS is going to stay with his dad for a month, and my wife is certain he won't want to come back.
Have any other Step/Bios had this issue...what was the result..what worked/didn't work....HELP!!!!