About once every few years or so I send a request to the CS office for a statement of all payments made on DHs account. Well, it arrived yesterday. The total paid to BM to date was 135k. It was 10 pages long and when DH saw it, he just shook his head. He says to me "135k babe." SS19 replies "She knows how much it is Dad. She knew down to the last penny before you even opened the envelope." I laughed and said "Yes, I know how much it was and the only reason I get those sent to us is so that when BM tells you that you don't do shit for your kids you can give her a copy of that statement." SS19 also just shook his head because he knows that BM has never, spent any of that money on him and his sister. Can't wait for SD11 to come over next weekend so I can show it to her also. Seeing as how she told me that her mother said the only way she was getting a cellphone was if DH paid for it. Now I can show her the staggering total and tell her "Seems to me like he's given plenty of money to your mom so she can get you a cellphone."
$135,000.00 of my DHs hard earned money to that POS. Oh my goodness.....Talk about cash cows.
Received the CS statement yesterday...
Submitted by Unfreakingreal on Wed, 06/20/2012 - 12:39pm
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Missed me Mccoy? LOL... BM
Missed me Mccoy? LOL... BM tells her kids that type of crap on a daily basis. "Mom I need sneakers." "Call your father." "Mom I need a bookbag. "Call your father." "mom I need a cellphone." "Too bad, tell your father." It's been this way for almost 12 years.
Well, let's see....She buys
Well, let's see....She buys herself designer clothes that she can't afford on a regular basis. She takes 3 week vacations yearly. She takes a cab to work at the very minimum 4 times a week. She eats out about 4 times a week. She buys a new cellphone at least 3 times a year. Smokes cigarettes, goes to bars every weekend, gets her nails & hair done every week, gets a tattoo at least once a year, buys gold jewelry constantly, gives extravagant gifts to her friends for birthdays and anniversaries, throws herself a birthday party every year, helps pay for peoples funerals when someone dies, everything under the rainbow EXCEPT spend it on her kids.
In addition to what he gives
In addition to what he gives her, she has TWO jobs. She is raking in the dough. But the kids have NOTHING. No clothes, no coats, no extra curricular activities. NOTHING. SD11 is the only one she has left. SS19 jumped ship when he was 16 and has never looked back.
Oh and BTW - SD11 doesn't
Oh and BTW - SD11 doesn't even have a bed. She sleeps with BM.
Yup. Apparently she gave away
Yup. Apparently she gave away SSs bed when he moved in with us. SD used to sleep on his bed after he moved, but BM wanted more space in their ONE bedroom apartment, so she gave the bed away and now SD sleeps with her.
WRONG... so wrong. **SMDH**
WRONG... so wrong. **SMDH**
"They were threatened by my intelligence and too stupid to know that is why they hated me."- Sheldon Lee Cooper
When DH and his ex were doing
When DH and his ex were doing their parenting agreement (50/50), she wanted cash money in addition to him agreeing to pay for all medical, all clothing, all extra-curricular, all school--you get the picture.
I did a spreadsheet for him that showed how she was actually MAKING MONEY to have her own children--not simply having money to cover expenses since there were none to her outside of food and shelter when they were with her.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not against child support when it's needed and actually used for the kids. I even paid it myself when my two lived with their dad for a while. But these people that solely use child support as income to be spent as they wish, and not for the kids, drives me insane!
Except DH never married the
Except DH never married the monkey. Can you imagine if he had? Alimony PLUS CS? I would've kept on walking had that been the case.
Yes, it is pathetic. What
Yes, it is pathetic. What they SHOULD do is have CS on a debit card like EBT benefits so that the State can track what the money is being spent on. When my DH pulls the sympathy card and tells me that he has to buy something for the Skids because BM doesn't have the money I rip him a new asshole. Thankfully, he's opened his eyes and stopped that bullshit for the most part.
Ignored, I get no CS for my
Ignored, I get no CS for my BS14. I didn't get anything for my 2 older sons either. Raised all 3 without a PENNY from a man. I honestly don't care. I am from the mindset that they are MY kids, so they are MY problem. If the Dad/Dads don't see fit to do their fatherly duty and provide for them than fuck them. I don't hate on the women that are lucky enough to get financial support from the kids fathers. I do however take issue with the ones that get the help but the kids always look like they crawled out of a dumpster. Without any CS, my kids NEVER EVER looked like that. I, on the other hand, wore panties with holes in them, I didn't care because my kids always looked good, always were fed and always had everything they needed. It is sad to see these kids do without KNOWING full well how much money my DH pays for them. Then they'd come to our house, look in my sons room, see a closet full of new sneakers & outfits and feel left out. Of course, BM would tell them that it was my DHs fault that they had nothing. SS realized this really quick when he moved in with us, BM claimed poverty and got away with giving DH NO CS at all. Sent him to live with us with NOTHING and within a month the kids closet was stacked. It's just so horrible to me that a woman who has children can behave that way.
And I love when a kids shows
And I love when a kids shows up with no winter boots and last year's coat that's two sizes too small, asking for money to "repay Mom for the money I borrowed from her for the build-a-bears" and he emails BM to say, "Why don't the kids have boots and appropriately fitting coats -- that is what I send you CS money for?" and her response is, "How I spend MY money is none of your business." So apparently once it passes into her hands, it's not longer CS, it's HER money.
I think the courts should require the BMs to provide a full accounting of how it gets spent. Because I don't think there's a one out there, except for maybe ignoredsm above, who thinks of it as CHILD support FOR THE CHILD, as opposed to MY money to do with as I please.
Oh hell yes! Our BM calls it
Oh hell yes! Our BM calls it HER money!!! She'll call and ask DH "Where is MY MONEY it wasn't in the bank!" My DH always tell her "WTF should I know? I sent it to Albany, call them!"
I do agree that BMs should be required by LAW to provide an accounting of what the $$ is spent on.
I don't usually post, but I
I don't usually post, but I want to throw another point of view in here. I don't agree that BMs should have to account for where CS goes. Honestly if I had to do that with the money I get for my daughter I would look like a pretty bad mom. It all gets spent on treats and toys and taking money out to take my kid out fun places. None of it goes to anything she "needs" because I can provide that myself just fine. And yes, there are occasional times when it gets used for something other than my DD. If I happen to forget my debit card, I might use the CS card just because it's on hand. Or if its something big, like a car repair that NEEDS to happen in order for me to work and support her, then yes the CS money gets used if I don't have enough left out of my check. But if I can't work, I can't buy food, clothes etc. So its as much for her as anyone else. I guess my point is, seeing it on paper doesn't tell the whole story and could get decent parents in trouble, which is why I disagree.
<3 The Hand that Rocks the Cradle Rules the World <3
Proud BM to DD 1, Proud SM to DSS 1
But you treat your KID to
But you treat your KID to outings. You buy your kid TOYS. You PROVIDE for your child. But do you go and spend the money on yourself and then tell your kid that if he needs sneakers to call his father? All the while knowing that you received a check from him that was supposed to pay for those sneakers? It's not the same thing.
Yes, what I do is for my kid.
Yes, what I do is for my kid. But on paper, just listed out what I buy and where, it wouldn't look very good.
<3 The Hand that Rocks the Cradle Rules the World <3
Proud BM to DD 1, Proud SM to DSS 1