It is ALWAYS a good thing to attempt to see the POV of others, especially if they are the "other side" of a conflict.

Hopefully there is someone here with a healthy adult SP/SK relationship. Maybe. We can hope.

I don't know...I'd rather they not come here, I do not want my SDs to come here whatsoever

While I can respect that they are looking for other POV's, some of them chose to stay & engage (debate) in our blogs/posts which I personally do not appreciate.

If they need advice, great...make your post, get advice & move on...no need to give SM's on here their input.

IMHO, of course

I would be shocked if YSD would come here for feedback because that would mean she let go of her all knowingness for a moment.

I think they come here looking for validation.

They always want to make it seem like their situations are unique, their stepmothers are unusually hideous monsters, they were innocent little children, and their fathers were spineless wimps.

Yeah, well get in line.

Here's some basics to life: relationships take two, you get what you give and every human deserves to be treated with respect.

If anyone is too hideous to be around, then don't go around them. Stay gone! Don't make exceptions for a drive-by bitch slap, a cash grab, or a sneaky retaliation attempt. Just move on and let them go.

But noooo, over and over we see adult skids come here to justify their actions towards their fathers and stepmothers. They don't come here to listen or learn. They come here to blow steam, which they would much prefer to take out on their stepmothers.

I'm a grown stepdaughter myself. I've got horror stories of my own. Whether I choose to go around my stepmother is up to me. Every interaction is an opportunity to make peace or stir the pot.

GROWN UP's should either steer clear of somebody, or use interactions as opportunities to make peace. The adult stepchildren who use every interaction as a reason to continue stirring the pot need to grow up, figure things out, get counseling, look in the mirror and stop being the victim.

The ones who post here don't seem to be the ones who want to make peace. They have resentments from their childhoods that they will hang on to with death grips, and bait us into arguing their right to do so.

I'm not saying some children and/or stepchildren don't have just cause to discontinue painful relationships with their parents. If that is the healthiest form of action, then do it. But the ones who act like big babies, who come here wanting to throw temper tantrums because their stepmothers won't listen anymore, or they know their father won't put up with it, need to look in the mirror.

For what it's worth, I'm sure many of our grown stepchildren would write the same, exact bs about all of us. The blame game is really unappealing as people get older. Deal with it, adjust or move on. But stop with the sand pounding. That's all it ever looks like to me when I see stepchildren coming here to vent.

They need to go find their own places to post. Facebook has a bunch entitled things like, "I HATE MY STEPMOTHER", or "My STEPMOTHER is a BITCH", etc. Same shit, different day.

Once again StepAside, very well said.

I think it's silly. It is not about that at all. I do not really take "advice" from much of anyone on here...and I am the SP. I do not care to give much "advice" either. It's more about reading others experiences and having support for me. In order to support a person, one has to understand their experience. If you are not an SP, that is not possible...that is why people seek this site.

I don't think they even are seeking that. I think they run across it it some search for not liking their stepparent...then they read...then they get pissed so they post.

I have also had a SM. I am one of the oh so poor children of divorce, except I didn't have a bunch of tissue and issue going on. I am also a BM, but do not generally use that side of me for this. It is a common courtesy kind of thing.

I didn't seek this site to listen to some grown adult come whining and complaining that they do not like their parent's choice in partner.

Mostly, I want to say to them, "No doubt the feeling is mutual. Get over it."

Personally, I have nothing to work out with my husband's children. I would never for one second listen to them and their stupid complaints. The only person I care to work with as far as relationship goes is my husband. They are simply not a part of it. They have made choices, as adults. They could have been a part of our life, but not anymore. I will always think less of them as people. They are less than. They are rude and disrespectful. I am certain there are times I will have to tolerate them, but even DH does not look forward to it. He really does not enjoy a bunch of grown ups treating his wife like shit.

We could turn this around and ask if any SP on this site has the desire to go on a site where stepkids want to vent. There would be those of us who want a better understanding of why our skids react to us, possibly to see a different point of view. But before visiting this site we would have to realize that most of the posters believe steps should be number one in DH's life, SM should sometimes suck it up and have compassion for the pain and lack of control they went through as a result of their parents' divorce. On the other hand, when skids read "Steptalk - where stepparents come to vent it should give them an idea of our general perpective on the SM / Skid relationship. What would be the motive for it? From what I've experienced with the skids who visit this site, many of them ask for our view but do not seem to want our advice. In fact, some of them have been quite antagonistic. Maybe they get a kick out of ticking us off - same as they do for their SMs.

"I didn't seek this site to listen to some grown adult come whining and complaining that they do not like their parent's choice in partner.

Mostly, I want to say to them, "No doubt the feeling is mutual. Get over it."

YES!!

Whilst I know the philosophy of the site is to exclude no-one, I do find it very odd when posters are not step-parents or at least parents. There was one recently who had problems with her boyfriend's over-controlling parents, who virtually appeared to invent a stepchild in order to post. Then there are the adult skids seeking step-parental viewpoints. Seems to me they can read about the viewpoints without starting their own thread, and make their own deductions. I find the request for viewpoints to be very demanding, given that anyone reading this from an objective viewpoint would realise pretty soon that all the step-parents posting here tend to feel ripped off and put-upon to a degree. Not getting off on the best foot to then demand more attention from us...

Another type of post I really don't like is when a SM posts about their other life as a BM in the sense that they ask advice about how to get the BF's new wife to understand their child's needs... whilst it can be a very real concern it just seems a real faux pas to post it on this site...

I'd ask that they go post elsewhere with others who share their concerns.