To the poster who just posted the blog about cheating on your DH, why did you take it down?
I really never try to judge anyone, ever, because I know how hard life is and that people make mistakes, but what is wrong with you? You don't love your husband, people that love another don't continually cheat or put themselves in a position to cheat. Don't you dare try to blame your actions or your CONSCIOUS DELIBERATE choices on your step situation, that is cowardly and very BM like. I'm sure my step-situation and many others are way worse than yours and I would never dare blame my actions on it. I am at a loss for words.
Do your husband a favor and get a divorce.
Cowards come in all forms
Cowards come in all forms BMs, BDs,SMs and SDs. No one group has cornered the market on cheating or lacking the balls to taking responsibility for your actions.
Stupidity is an equal oppotunity thing.
I think that something has to
I think that something has to be lacking in the marriage if you are attracted to someone else. If you respect someone enough then you wouldn't cheat on them. I am not judging. I love my DH so much and I could never imagine cheating on him and I don't even look at other men. I think if I wanted to cheat on him I would leave him instead.
I'm right there with you. I
I'm right there with you. I just don't understand cheating I guess. If you want to do it, don't be married, and don't be in a committed relationship at all for that matter.
it's not always that there is
it's not always that there is something lacking in the marriage, sometimes there is something lacking in the cheater. like a conscience, morals, and values. i gave my exbf everything a man could want, and he cheated on me the whole time. did it to every woman after me, too. there wasnt' anything lacking in our relationship for him. i was the only one who was not fulfilled, yet he is the one who cheated. i guess if you can't be happy with yourself, you won't be happy with anyone else, either.
"I don't hold grudges. I remember facts."
Lol, my iPhone copied the
Lol, my iPhone copied the stupid thing. I was trying to comment and it highlighted the whole thing, anyway, my question was; what does BM have to do with her being deceitful and dihonest to her husband.
The freedom, the strength, the will to do as I damn well please.
I'm on my phone also and I
I'm on my phone also and I don't usually type on it so I'm making a bunch of mistakes. If you have the original blog would you mind reposting it, I'm curious of other's opinions.
The stress of steplife made
The stress of steplife made her cheat with a man she was previously involved with.
She originally had an affair with this MARRIED man before she was with her DH. She ended it before she met her DH and then the affair started up again years later.
well nothing really make
well nothing really make anyone cheat, person makes that decisions all by themselves. if stress makes one cheat, then by this logic stress would make me steal, kill, assault, set houses on fire or engage in espionage. that's baloney.
I didn't see that post but if a person posted here to confess her wrongdoing, admit her faults and regrets and maybe ask advice how to come to terms with it, then we should not throw stones. but if she is just willy nilly about it and blames everyone else, then I have no sympathy...
I am so with you. I
I really don't know. She
I really don't know. She knew she would get some sh%t, she said as much. Her attitude was very cavalier and she apparently has an extremely strong connection with this other man. It seemed that she didn't want to get divorced but I also got the impression she didn't want, and wasn't going to stop the affair. It is also not something tihey plan so when it happens, it happens.
Well i know a lot of you are
Well i know a lot of you are going to diagree but here it gose. If you cheat one time it is bad but still i think forgiveable,but an affiar that wont stop becuse you have some sort of felling's for that person. That im sorry who ever posted tha bolg but that is called selfinsacure. Why? bacuse you like what is going on and if you done it more then once with the same person. Then you dont love ur Huuby it means you dont know what you want.
To each their own if they
To each their own if they forgive cheating.
But to cheat and continuously, I just don't get it. I think it is even worse when you would never expect that from your partner and believe, at least for the most part, that you have a happy marriage.
Personally unless you have
Personally unless you have cheated yourself or have some kind of experience with it, not one of you should pass judgement.
You have no idea what is going on in someones relationship, you only know what you are told.
I have been on both sides of this fence, and yes there is something "missing" in a relationship for someone to cheat, as a matter of fact its most of the stuff we come here and complain about happening in our own homes that are the missing factors. So as righteous as everyone is here, understand you are all subject the cheating bug especially in the relationships we are in.
I am not saying it is an excuse, what I am saying is, it can happen to you, even though you sit here and type how much love you feel for your spouse and how your moral values are so high and how you would NEVER do that.... trust me, when your in the heat of the attention, the value you feel, and the excitement, that righteousness, ummm yep its gone. When you dont feel valued where you are, constantly feel second to SD or SS, have disengaged from the situation, its very easy to be drawn into something like this...
so...lets take it easy..
Even in the heat of the
Even in the heat of the attention & excitement, we are still accountable for the choices we make & they are still wrong. People make excuses for cheating to get around personal accountability & owning their actions.
If we don't feel valued where we are, if we feel we deserve more or better, or if we feel something is missing in our relationship, it is OUR responsibility to put ourselves in a better place...BEFORE we go searching for greener pastures. Life Lesson - We get what we give.
Those who cheat CHOOSE to do so. Blaming anyone but the cheater is passing the buck.
"Women are angels & when someone breaks our wings we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible like that."
Yes! Thank you! This!
Yes! Thank you! This! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
we are all accountable for
we are all accountable for our actions you are correct, however, my point is, theres alot of judgement on this subject with the statement always to follow: I would never. well you may think you "would never!" but noone is above this, it happens. and by the way when I did it, and yes I did, my marriage inside my home between us was long over, ex husband and I were both away of that fact. And before I got my heart involved, I told the ex what was going on. with that being said, how many marriages on this site are over? in our hearts, we are always trying to decide to stay or go, can we live with the bullshit or will it just be too much.
its a recipe for diseaster.
distrust, disrespect, it all breaks down a marriage little by little. we deal with it every day, read entry after entry after entry...
im just saying, noone is "above" doing this.
The only thing can say, is
The only thing can say, is that I could have written this myself. To the letter. Every single word of it even down to how I feel about people that use drugs.
"They were threatened by my intelligence and too stupid to know that is why they hated me."- Sheldon Lee Cooper
The subject doesn't
The subject doesn't matter...NO ONE should ever say "I would never..." about anything, because as the poster above says, unless you have walked in those shoes, you don't know WHAT YOU WOULD DO!
I said I would NEVER BLAME MY
I said I would NEVER BLAME MY ACTIONS on my step situation. I can also say I would NEVER CHEAT! I'm a better person than that, I have too much integrity to do it, I think about other's feelings, I am stronger than that, and I would never let myself be put in the situation.
I am sure there are many other women on here who are the same.
However, I have seen so much cheating and in many different forms and i know there are reasons why people cheat, but there is no excuse. The OP I was talking about didn't really seem to have any problem with her cheating. She also seemed to want a discussion. Who knows, maybe she was just bored.
I would never cheat. If I
I would never cheat. If I refused to cheat as a carefree 20 something, there's no way I'll do it as a 44 year old.
I'll never be stuck ikn a relationship. I always have the choice and ability to walk away from a SO I'm no longer happy with. Cheating just in an option in my life.