Yes, that's right biomom has finally dropped the big birthday gift bombshell!! She wants to buy stepson (who is just turning 11) a cell phone!
I am firmly against kids that young having cell phones. First of all, they should be with an adult when they are out. At 11 you shouldn't be running around town by yourself. Secondly, do you know how many times stepson has lost his things? Let see......his trumpet was left on the bus a couple of times, his glasses were missing for at least a week, jackets, umbrellas, gloves.......need I go on!! Of course I am the ONE trying to find all of the above mentioned things. If biomom does buy stepson a cell phone, I will in NO way be responsible for finding it when it is lost, telling him not to give it to kids at school, charging it......nothing!!
The worst part is I thought that my husband and I were in agreement about the cell phone issue. Well, biomom asked my husband what he thought about the idea and he didn't say up front that he/we were against it. That stepson was just not responsible enough for a cell phone. I mean the kid can barely remember to comb his hair for school!!
I think that biomom is suggesting this because neither her nor her ex-boyfriend want to pick stepson up at the bus stop(or they can't pick him up). So stepson will have to walk to biomom's house where there is a babysitter. We share the same bus stop as biomom(yeah, that's how close they live to us) but our house is closer to the bus stop and stepson knows people who live along the way home. So my husband told biomom that is stepson had any problems or didn't remember where he was supposed to go on her days, he could just walk to our house and we would take him to her house or call her to see where he should go. Biomom didn't want our house to be stepson's emergency backup plan so ex-boyfriend suggested that stepson get this cell phone.(I don't think it is any of ex-boyfriend's business!)
Of course if biomom does end up getting this cell phone for him, stepson will think she is so wonderful because we have already told him that he isn't responsible enough for a cell phone yet and shouldn't need one.
Dawn
Cell phone? Yes, when he can pay for it.
I agree with you, Dawn, that he's too young for a cell phone and with Hopeful about his ability to pay for it. I suppose biomom's next trick will be to ask you two to help pay for it, even though it's "her" b-day gift to him???
We have the cell phone DRAMA too!
The 6 year olds mom has a cell phone that she sent with her last visit…we think it is for reporting what is going on here at our house...well she came with it again today and we’ve decided that it will be put up and returned to mom at drop off…If she wants her to have it on her time…go for it…but we feel that there is NO NEED for here to be in possession of it here…if she needs to use the phone, she needs to ask an adult and get an okay…When did KIDS become Mini-ADULTS anyway?!
no comment
no comment
Nise
That is almost just sick that she would get a 6 year old a cell phone.
So ridiculous!!!
Dawn
Cell phones are for parental alienation in some cases
I am new on here and I have to tell you that my 12 year old stepd
was given a cellphone, and it has added to our nightmare. The first weekend she left it at a shopping center, had to call her Bm and it was assumed that it was all my fault. My SD was scared to call her two mothers, and it was up to me to make the call. And it was a very rude awakening. Well a few days later the store called my husband and told them the phone had been found, they brought her to come pick it up, no thank you nothing. Then the phone the following weekend was used against us when she couldn't go somewhere with a friend, and her BD told her No. They both got on their cell phones and called their mothers before the visitation was over, and they came and got them. It was 6 months before he was able to see her again. He has only recently had some time back with her, and again the cellphone, they text her 20 or so times a day to tell her what she's missing at home(no lie) sadddd..... Who's coming over, she disrespects us again, tells us she's going home, and calls after we tell her no, they come and pick her up, cursing every breath to my husband, and the other life partner states that if the phone don't come, she doesn't . They do everything in their power to keep her from wanting or coming to our house,that she used to love so much until the buy off with cellphone, new puppy, and whatever party or event she want's to go to, we shouldn't mess up her Social LIFE, this is what the Mother says.
Cell Phone
This is an experience I faced last year with my ss. SS was misbehaving in the worst ways...lying, forging my signature at school, lying more, coming home treating everyone nasty, and for Christmas he thought he deserved a cell phone.
My dh and I joked around and asked him who he wanted to call? the T.V.? or the couch? Biomom fought with dh to buy him one for Christmas, dh said no, don't buy him one, he hasn't earned the priviledge yet.
SS slowly started behaving slightly better (I feel he earned a D in the earning a cell phone department) and biomom rushed out and bought my 12 year old ss a razr!!! This was last March when razr's were $300!!!
Your battle is going to be overrun, biomom will just go out a buy him one. I think the cell phone issue is child dependent...meaning, if you have a child thoroughly active in sports, music lessons, etc...and behaves themselves, then yes, an older child could have a cell phone, but I personally think 11 is too young. I would support a 14 year old having one, but 11..no.
I think your earlier commnet on an 11 year old needing to be supervised is the appropriate approach. Good luck. Oh fyi...that $300 razr...just got washed in the washing machine by ss grandma a month ago...
Candice
Hahaha.....yeah, that's something that would happen to my stepson if he got a cell phone. He has had his student ID in the laundry more than once, left it at his mom's house for a week, etc. and that is just a plastic card.
We have told him that he could get one of those pre-programmed phones when he is in 8th grade maybe. Any kind of a cell phone with a contract and monthly bill will wait until he can pay for it himself. Right now though, he is not really in any afterschool things and doesn't go places by himself so there shouldn't be a need for him to get one.
My stepson has a problem with telling the truth sometimes too. He also is not very responsible for his age.
Dawn
When there old enough to pay the bill..
Kids don't need cell phones.... especially at that age. My 13 yr old won..a really cool one last year at school.. (Sidney Crosby donated it...his little sister goes to my son's elementary school..and she bought tickets while volunteering there) So it's her pride & joy..picked it up at his house & everything..very exciting!!!
But all she has ever used it for is taking pictures....
Judging from the amount of time she has the house phone tied up I can't imagine what a cell phone bill would be..
When she can afford to pay her cell bill...we will have the phone turned on.. That's what we told her! She's not mature/responsible enough..and doesn't know the value of a buck..she still has plenty of time to learn..but not ready for a phone yet.
Let Mom...buy the phone..and learn from her mistakes..when the 11 year old child looses it.(it's inevitable)..or runs the bill up...etc...
Don't let her stress you out... sit back and enjoy the show...
It looks like a comedy!
Cell Phone Issues for Teens are Getting Ridiculous
Hi Dawn,
Personally, I don't think the kids need the cell phones, anyways.
We had issues with my SD years ago, when the ex gave her a phone. The easiest solution was for the phone to be left at the ex's house. When SD was on visitation with us, she had no phone. The landline works just fine. The ex didn't like it, but why would we care?
Regards,
Sweetie
Hi Sweetie!
How have you been?
Yeah, I suggested that he keep it at her house but she wants him to have it in his backpack!!! She thinks he would keep it there.....yeah right!! He will have it out showing it off, passing it around, etc. Stepson is only at biomom's house 10 days out of the month and more than half of those are school days. Maybe I should check with the school on their policy of cell phones at school. Maybe the kids are not allowed to bring cell phones to school!!
She didn't buy it yet!! I think she may be afraid to buy it since my husband told her that WE wouldn't be responsible for it at all.
We shall see.
Dawn
Annoying Parents
I am 13 years old and my parents wont let me get a cell phone. I think i should be able to have one because i am always out and need to call home for rides and stuff. Is it a bad idea for me to fight my parents even more than i already have?
Katie
You could do what
people in the stone ages did. Agree to a pick up time and place and be there on time and in place. You could also learn how to use a pay phone. Someday you may be in trouble with a dead cell phone, learning to use an old fashioned phone could save your life.
My SD has one....
My 11 year old SD has a cellphone. Her mother and grandmother bought her first one for Christmas last year, and she got a new one for graduation. Now she wants another one! She's away from home very frequently (going to parties, dances, skating rink, etc.) and she has sports, so I think it's for a good cause. She has to work from it though, like doing chores and things like that.
Dawn I just read this
Dawn I just read this and had to comment! The BM will probably do what she wants. In my case I have 2 SDs that primarily live with DH and me. BM only has them 6-8 nights a month.
Oldest SD came home with a cell phone at the ripe ol age of 8! It took me a while to realize that we didn't have to follow her "cell phone rules" at our house. Yep, we had a laminated sheet of typed up cell phone rules from mommy dearest. Funny thing is they read something like this:
1) always keep the phone on and with you cause Mommy wants to call you whenever.
2) charge the phone at least once a week
3) read all the instructions (HELLO SHE'S EIGHT YEARS OLD!!!)
and so on...nothing about earning it, etc.. Well BM rarely calls her girls so we just turned it off. Quit putitng in her backpack. Eventually she just asked for it back. IT's RIDICULOUS!
I personally think 13/14 is ok because of extra-curricular activities but only if they are responsible!! My BD got a phone at 13 and followed all the rules and kept her grades up. Just helped when she starting having activities and they would end early.
Good luck!
I Personally
believe that no one needs a cell phone until they are driving. Then it should only be used for well-defined emergencies.
There are generations of people that participated in school activities and other social experiences that required parental pick ups and survived just fine without their network. In fact I think cell phones interfere with the development of critical thinking skills.
Cell phones for 5 year olds!
Our BM gave her twins a cell phone in Kindergarten! She wanted to make sure her boys could call her whenever they want. She originally required them to call her everyday (never her calling them). When they'd miss a day - they are boys who get caught up in things she blamed us (and specifically me) about not letting them call her. Which wasn't true. I am a BM myself and would never withhold a child from calling there Mom - I love when my daughter calls me when she's not with me, I love to hear her voice. I totally get it. Anyway she got them a cell phone but refused to give us the #. When it finally came we used it to call my husbands cell phone to have the # in the event of an emergency. Caller id came up that husbands phone # labeled as "Hitler's Cell" and our home # as "Hitler Family Home". Isn't that so sweet. He is a child of German Immigrants that totally suffered under Hitler's reign, so it was hurtful. After he confronted her about it she yelled at him for looking at the boys cell phone and hung up. Needless to say our cell phone issue was solved and we never had one come our way again! Silver lining in every cloud.....I agree they don't need cell phones until they are driving and when they can pay for it. I think that is a great rule. We will try and enforce that with our kids (at least while they are in our care)!!!
Cell Phones for kids are easy...
Prepaid phones with Re-up cards, that THEY HAVE TO BUY...I have a Net10 so I only pay 10 cents per minute, and the coverage is good. It works out cheaper for Me than My Cricket bill was($50+ per month) or a second line on verizon(about $30/month) because I don't use it much.
We have a prepaid that all but the oldest two at home share, when They are at the park,school dances, etc. which ONLY Calls Family land and cell #s. It has been a good thing, when they needed rides 'cause somebody got hurt,(like when Our then 13YO, broke Her ankle at the park a mile away from home) etc. or something let out early, and they can't lose OURS, which happened twice, and cost $50 w/insurance,plus the hassle of reprogramming all the #s from scratch or paying to get most of them copied from the other phone...
I'm not saying it's always needful, but it can be elatively cheap
and VERY Convenient, or More. It depends on a lot of factors, cost being relatively minor among them.
Steve
Steve
Kids are the Best and Worst Things We can do to Ourselves. When We have nothing else worth living for, We'll go on, for Them, but Oh How We Miss Our Freedom...LOL
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