For those who don't know, I'm a fairly young SM. In fact, I'm 8 years younger than DH. So to choose this life, I had to risk a lot. This is what happens when you give up your plans for love...
I could have moved away to college. I could have gotten my bachelor's degree by walking to and from a cute little apartment right on campus. I instead chose the commute so I could be here with DH, then-boyfriend.
I could have lived on my own. Instead I moved straight from my parent's house to my husband's house.
I could have had every little thing my way and been selfish for a while. Now I'm lucky to even get a midnight snack when I want it while SKIDS are here.
I could have gotten a job on campus that would have established contacts and made me more money. Now I'm lucky if I even get a job locally because of what my major is (no I won't specify either... I've already been pinpointed on this site once).
I could have partied and done some wild things I'd never thought to try. Now I'm lucky if I can get DH to stay up with me past midnight.
I could have spent time hanging out with friends. I haven't seen anyone outside my or DH's family since spring break.
I could have lived in a clean apartment like I want. Instead I live in a house that is now subject to frequent lice and drug inspection.
I COULD have... but I chose love... and you know what? It's NOT all you fucking need.
I love DH, but sometimes I wish he were still a boyfriend and I'd waited for this until after my graduation. Not a day goes by lately where I don't wonder if I've ruined my entire life.