SD here every other weekend... plus some extra holidays. We have a 2yr DD, and son coming any day now. DH thinks its better for 2yr to share with SD, cuz it's not fair for SD to be woke up by a baby. I say 2yr not going to sleep cuz she knows sisee is in there and she will want to talk or play all night. Also DD bed time is only 1hr before SD... so if DD not asleep yet and SD goes in to go to bed she won't sleep. I think that by the time baby is out of basinette and in a room he will be sleeping through the night and it will be less of an issue than with DD. Also, when DD was a baby get and SD shared a room, and barely woke her up in the middle of the night, mainly it got worse the older she got cuz she wanted to play. Now the other part of the story is that SD has been very rough/violent/tries to parent DD telling her what she can and can't do... hurting her, yelling at her. Who ever shares a room with SD we will have a video monitor on her! We have caught SD in the past hurting DD on the monitor. So with SD only being here every other weekend i see it ridiculous that the 2 bio kids share a room just so SD can " have her own space"
SD just got here for her weekend with us... within 2 min of walking in the door she's informed me that she will NOT be sharing a room with anyone cuz they keep her up. DH was there while she's telling me how things are going to be in OUR house and didn't say a word! I truly believe if he could have his way SD would have her own room and baby and 2yr would be sharing!!! f that! she's here for 4 days a month plus some holiday time.
It shocks me that a 10 yr thinks she can tell us adults how things are going to be and that DH says nothing! What ever happened to parents being the boss and kids doing what they're told?
Who's better off sharing a room? SD & DD (2) or SD and sleeping through the night baby ( around 3-6 months old)
I am sorry, I have read this
I am sorry, I have read this three times, is there a typo when it says that DH wants SD to share with DD2? In the third sentence?
let me add another concern.
let me add another concern. if DD and SD sharing a room and DD still awake when SD bed time i can see her saying since DD still up can i just go to bed later and DH saying ok. F that! or she'll go to bed and come out 15 min later cuz DD keeping her up. Yes i get that SD mainly here on weekend, but bed time is a must! With the amount of dysfunction we deal with her throughout the day, adult time is needed!
I would think the baby would
I would think the baby would be more likely to disturb sleep patterns. Baby wakes SD up at night, SD sleeps late, etc.
I see just the opposite
I see just the opposite happening. SD waking DD up accidentally on purpose to disrupt the household. But these shenanigans would stop being fun if SD is made to endure/calm the crying toddler and to get up at the normal time.
Making SD take car of the kid
Making SD take car of the kid at night is wrong and will likely backfire. She isnt there to babysit.
As soon as BM finds out that
As soon as BM finds out that her daughter is doing what the parents should be doing (why won't matter),the shit will hit the fan.
yes DH wants SD to share with
yes DH wants SD to share with DD2. not baby.
Let the girls share. When SD
Let the girls share.
When SD is there, have BD sleep in BS's room. DD can sleep in the room alone when SD is with her mom.
it seems weird to be
it seems weird to be switching DD2 back and fourth between rooms every other weekend. She's only 2 and bed time routine is important. Plus where in the other room would she sleep? Would we have a crib and bed in baby boy's room? DD2 still in crib. She's not ready for big girl bed yet. Plus isn't the in consistency of switching rooms weird/confusing/HUGE pain in the ass to make it so precious SD10 can have her own room? Why do my kids have to be in convinced every other weekend in their own home? NOT trying to sound like a beotch at all to your response... please don't take it that way at all! I guess if anything I'm just so f-ing sick of my family being turned upside down every other weekend for precious SD... and by precious I'm being sarcastic! DH totally changes everything about him when shes around! our whole house and family is like a nut house every other weekend and if you can't already tell i resent it very much!
Its not about SD having her
Its not about SD having her own room. It's about keeping your kids safe.
If you're worried about SD hurting your 2 year old, why would you even consider putting her with your baby.
That part of this would scare
That part of this would scare me too. I wouldnt count on baby monitor keeping baby safe from the SD.
If the 2 YO is talking (or will be soon), that child is in a much better position to protect herself.
I would talk to 2 YO about what 2 YO wants.
How about have the baby go in
How about have the baby go in with bd eow. the baby won't really know the difference for awhile. By the time he/she is old enough to understand things might be a bit different, ie. another house. I hear your resentment. I understand your resentment. I have had plenty of that myself. It's hard to get past and might take a little rearranging of the house to make this less of an issue for you. Remember you are the mom and sd does not get to say where she sleeps and with whom, but safety for the kids is important. She probably hurts them b/c she doesn't want them in her space.
this seems a sensible
this seems a sensible solution for the time being
+++++++++
CS - 2 months to go on Number 1, 4 years on Number 2.
knucklehead (i couldn't find
knucklehead (i couldn't find your name more fitting if i had chose it for you myself) you have no right saying my 2DD should be out of her crib and accuse me of lazy parenting. Every child is ready to sleep in a big bed at different times than others, experts say. I know my child more than you therefore know if she is or isn't ready for a big bed. As usual you've jumped past the point and picked out the only negative thing you can say about the post. I'll decide when MY child is ready for a big bed. Keep your negative comments to yourself.
Seems trivial since you can
Seems trivial since you can try it his way and if it doesn't work then switch.
silly question but...... Why
silly question but...... Why wouldn't you just keep the newborn (when the baby is born) in your room with you and your dh in cradle/crib/bassinette for the first six months or so? By that time, hopefully your bd will be able to go in a big girl bed (Most toddlers are potty trained by that age and needing a bed that will allow them to get up to use the washroom anyway.) and then your sd and bd could utilize bunkbeds or something of the sort in the same room? Your bd will be older and hopefully more on a rountine when it comes to sleeping when being put to bed as well so as to not interfer with sd's sleep, your bd will be older and hopefully better able to communicate any concerns regarding your sd, and your sd will have had more time to adjust to a new member of the family.
---------------------------------------------------------------
A friend is someone we can count on for understanding, support, discretions, and if we're lucky, insight, wisdom, and well-timed foolishness.......... John R. O'Neil
That sounds like a good idea.
That sounds like a good idea. Another think I did when kid was at inbetween age, was get a toddler bed. Not expensive, uses crib mattress and is low to the ground. MY DD loved it, she could get to toilet quicker.
Want my honest to God
Want my honest to God oppinion? No one shares a room with her. Get yourself a couch that turns into a bed or a camper bed. Sleep in the den or living room.
Thats how my bro and I did it on visits with my bio dad. Actually, he had trundle beds and this huge space under his stairwell. It was like camping out for us. I surely wasnt scarred by living arrangement.
What is this need to ensure a bedroom for kids....driven by the bio parents? I never understood it?
******
My IPOD says you are full of bullshit!
I will never understand why a
I will never understand why a parent would not ensure that he/she has a bedroom and beds for all of his/her kids. I'm not saying kids needs their own room, sharing is fine.
No way would my kid sleep on the sofa or an blow up bed. I would feel like a piece of shit parent if I couldn't afford or refused to purchase real beds for all of my kids.
Financially not all parents
Financially not all parents can afford a room and have a regular bed for the kids. Space wise sometimes there is not room. Not talking about myself here as all the kids in my house have their own bed. I do think the 2 year old should share with sd- but I too if concerned about safety would put her in the room with the baby when your ss is there if I had safety concerns.