casper's picture

Another stresful visit

So glad I found this site...just so I can VENT and people will actually understand why I am VENTING.... I am new so you may get really tired of hearing from me... have 4 children and 3 steps... never met stranger kids in my life than the step children..my older kids swear the boy is really mental... honestly today is a typical crazy day..for example, my husband is in bed with his 13 year old daugher right now... I think it's odd that he sleeps with her... he hasn't seen her in two months but its still weird... isn't it? she arrived last Saturday... she has had on the same clothes all week and has had one bath...if I mention anything, I'm mean and picking on his kids... she eats in her room and stays on the computer all day and night... my kids were allowed one hour of computer at that age... his son is the same way..they have no social skills at all ..apparently their Mom worked or whored from home and they were made to always stay in their rooms.... the crazy ex wife...and I mean physcho crazy moved to Florida right after we were married...we spent the first two years of our marriage in a full blown custody battle...got custody of the 14 year old son who hated, hated, hated his Mom, who is now 18 and apparently thinks that he can come and go as he pleases...left two weeks ago...hasn't called or been back...BM has said he isn't coming back... BD instead of confronting the issue just plays victim and feels sorry for himself...Oh how I hate the "Im a victim" play. Somebody needs to set the 18 year old (who in only a Junior in High School) straight about how the real world works and you either follow the rules in the home you live in or your support yourself. Now that he is mad, the BM of course is encouraging him, buying him a car, keeping it a secret where he is... Come on...he failed two classes his jr. year and he is already 18 - I finally called the school..(I'm suppose to stay out of the parenting) because I think he is so depressed and needs help but I'm a bitch for that too.. I raised 4 kids alone... you have to stay on them all the time when they teenagers..you aren't suppose to be their friend and you can't feel sorry for them...


casper's picture

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Casper...the invisible step mom

Orange County Ca's picture

He's 18 why don't you quit

He's 18 why don't you quit interfering in his life and just let him go to whereever he's going to end up? With you trying to stop him he'll just try harder to get there.

You'll get none of the credit if he turns out good and none of the blame if he doesn't.

******************

I've observed humans for 70 years and dogs for 10. I prefer the dogs.

LRP75's picture

Step.away.from.the.drama. Som

Step.away.from.the.drama.

Some kids just have to experience the pain of their own failures before they can find the motivation to be successful. Apparently your SS18 is one of those kids. There is nothing inherently wrong about that. However, what IS wrong -- are the parents who continuously swoop in to try to protect their children from the consequences of their choices/failures. Sounds as though this kid was not given an opportunity to figure out his own motivation.

It sounds like it's long past the time where the adults in this child's life all need to take a big step back from him and allow him, probably for the first time ever, to really have some control over his own destiny. Unfortunately, the kid is now 18 and some of those consequences are going to really uncomfortable for him.

Take a deep breath and take a step back. It's ok to worry about him, but it is no longer ok to try to intervene.

Good luck!

I don't cater to crazy.