Step Talk

I was able to be there when we were going through it. The counselor wanted to get;exact words;BM,& DH in the room together to see what they would do????WTF What happened was WW III, and my DH stormed out after 15 min. Counselor knew that neither of them wanted to do it, it was like a sick game. Of course I was excluded from everything, even though SS was living in my house, and I was taking care of him full time. No one cared about my imput. I think it's great that you can go, and they listen to you, take advantage of it. Even though our experiance was not positive, does not mean it's not a good idea. I think you all have alot to gain by your being their. ~"Resist all the urges.... that make you want to go out and kill." ~ Chel.

We go just ourselves.. I dont know what I would do if I had to be in a small enclosed room w/the ex!!!

I think it works if you are WANTING it to work.

There is absolutely no way, under any circumstances that I would have gone into a counselor’s office with my ex. I would have died first - no exaggeration – think ex felt the same way.

Nor, would I go into a session with my DH and his EX. Sorry, would not do it - no way. They didn't want to work together while married, why in the world would they want to now that they are divorced?!

I find it strange that the counselor would ask that of them, knowing that they did not get along. Mediation is one thing when you are going through divorce and severing a relationship.

Regarding parenting after divorce, I was told, while the kids were with me I parented, and while they were with their dad, he parented.

How about just you and your DH going to counseling?

The counselor has never suggested that just my and my H see her. The thing I don't like about it is that the counselor keeps my SD in the room with all of us complaining. I called the counselor last week and she told me the only way to make sure my SD was not in the middle is to redo the paper work. I told her that I would redo it and she said that it would take to long. I am sorry but I would rather do the paper work than to destroy a little girl. I also find it very pathetic that I am the one that pointed this out and not BM or the counselor.

Ummmm - you need a DIFFERENT counselor !!

Take too long? That's absurd. Is this person LICENSED?

How about if you just call around and see what other counselors say regarding this situation... see if any of the others you speak with say it is wise or healthy to have a child in the room while all of this is going on.

I believe in getting second, third and fourth opinions... couldn't hurt.

We were court ordered to go to this counselor so we have no choice but to go to her. I don't understand what these people are thinking. She is licensed or the courts wouldn't have picked her. I took my 2 year old the last time we went because I didn't have a sitter and the whole time the counselor was telling my 2 year old 1 toy at a time. Like she knows what one at a time means. I really don't understand how she is still in the profession.

Ok - so the court wants you to see their counselor... what happens if you suggest going to one of your own? Usually courts like saving money. And if they want you to see one of theirs - ask for a DIFFERENT ONE... this is not an unusual request.

You could still get your OWN - that way you would have yet another professional opinion!

Personally, if I were you, I would refuse to go. You don't need to put yourself in the middle of that circus.... and what are they going to do - ORDER you to go? You are not the bio parent... they can't.

In the new decree it states that we will all attend. I don't know if they can legally do that but they added my name into it. I try to be as supportive to my husband as possible but I have had about enough.

BM would never agree because she only admits my existence when it suits her (as in gloating to DH that SD told her that SD cuts herself at BM's house because SD hates me, or saying I am too lazy to take SD to the orthodontist.)

I would absolutely LOVE the opportunity to sit in the same room with her and listen to her insanity first hand. It would be an interesting experiment.

I understand about it making you ill though. I'm a pretty secure and laid back person, but when DH's cell rings to the tune of the dark side from Star Wars? I feel like throwing up instantly.

Funny how I don't feel that way when my son's SM calls ME.
I would just sit back and enjoy the show if I were you!

Peace, love, and red wine

The first time I felt like I let a lot off of my shoulders but I am not so sure how it will go from here on out. I feel the same way when my daughters SM calls. I talk to her like I have known her for years and if there is something wrong with my daughter she will call me and ask me to come over to help. So with that said I am not a bad person my H's ex is just jealous. She want's more kids but I guess you have to keep a BF for longer than a month.