SD graduated high school!!!
I am so mixed with feelings tonight I watched my stepdaughter graduate high school. I have been with her dad since she was 6 years old. And let me tell ya it had been some of the toughest 12 years ever. I am proud yet sad at the same time her BM showed up at graduation in a formal dress. I thought are you frickin kidding me this is for the kids not for you. WTH. I don't get it. Anyhow my SD lives with us most the time and sees her BM 20 hours a week. Yes we still pay CS for those 20 hours but only for 2 more months. Thank god!!! SD will be 18 in July so she's with us for another month and a half. She already has plans to move out she's moving in with her BM's mother. Mostly cause she can get away with anything there. At least that's what I think. But geez. We worked so hard. To get custody of her in court and now she wants to move out as soon as she's 18. Like the next day. Crazy. I am partially yeah no more teenage drama and at the same time I'm kinda sad that maybe we aren't providing a home she wants to stay in. But I guess it's good most parents have a hard time getting kids out. Totally mixed feeling on the graduation too. I am super proud of her and kinda feel emotional but tried not to show it to not offend the BM. Who I'm sure hates me but that's ok. I have worked really hard and know one day when I'm old and grey she will one day appreciate it.
Don't take her moving out
Don't take her moving out personally. I joined the military at graduation (17 years old) to get out of one of the best homes in the world. It was so nice my brother stayed until both our parents died. Of course it left him totally unprepared for the real world and he's driving a taxi now waiting to turn 65 in a few months.
Its great that she got her
Its great that she got her diploma, you guys must have done a greal job raising her despite her BM. Take pride in the part you played in getting her there and let her know how proud you are of her too. It is strange that an 18 y/o would actually want to live with her grandma?!? But being only 18 i wouldn't be surprised if she shows up at your door again after only a short time living with grandma. Maybe its just her way of testing out legendary & magical freedom that comes with being 18... my ss17 is convinced of this myth happening at the stroke of midnight on his 18th bday... Should hand him his cell bill instead and say congratulations!!! you are now free to pay it yourself! Lol
My experience is somewhere
My experience is somewhere around 23/24 years old...
after they have been on their own for a little while...
They come to realize... how challenging life is... and
Everything you have done for them...
My first two SD's finished college, and found places of their own...
Bought their first cars without my help, and the day came...
They told me they appreciated everything I did for them...
They also told my current DW... they felt bad for her kids...
because... they know what her kids are dealing with from me...
"That never ending voice of reason... that just keeps going, and going, and going..."
but they also said.. That "reasoning" made a difference in their lives...
Hang tough... the day will come...
You and DH need to keep in touch with her... and let her know the
"Life lessons" aren't over...
Yes she is an "Adult" but there is still plenty to learn...
And you are there to talk her through it...
If she ever listened to 1/2 of what you said...
She is still listening...
what he said ^^
what he said
Thanks all. Just felt weird.
Thanks all. Just felt weird. I kind I imaged it a little different. But my DH brother moved in with us a month ago too. Just getting out of the army. There is a large age gap between them he is 21. So empty nest syndrome won't happen here. He doesn't have a job yet and he and my DH were not raised together. So he is always with him making up for lost time. . Sometimes I miss my DH and I live with the man. Also there are times that he acts like he's a parent and to be honest it's annoying at times. I feel like saying hey I have 12 years vested here my opinion counts damn it. But this too shall pass one day. Thanks for all the advise and positive reinforcement. We will defiantly keep in touch with the kid.
Do you have a game plan if
Do you have a game plan if she wants to move back in?
Do you have a game plan for the BIL?
I am just wondering because I have read/heard horror stories about couples letting other adults live with them (family or not)and having a hard time getting them back out!
But I commend you, you sound like a very giving person.