Step Talk

SD does like fruit so BM will occasionally pick up exactly what SD requests. But the rest is pop-tarts, flavoring packs to put in water, candy. I remember once picking up SD from school last year and she was eating a whole big bag of sugar coating gummy worms in the car. I told her to put them away and she said, "This was what mom sent me for a snack." On the days BM sent her to the daycare in the summer (which was a pool place with a snack bar) she gave her about 5-10 bucks a day to eat extra food with. I don't know if they served a lunch or not because we never signed her up for that place. I would ask SD what she ate during the day and it would be two mountain dew slushies, a hot dog, couple bags of chips and ice cream or candy bar. EVERY day. Then she would come back to our house with stomach aches, headaches, she would binge eat the next couple of days. It was horrible.

BM never cooks they only eat out and SD gets to always pick the restaurant (one of the reasons she calls BM 3 times from after school til pick up at 6 is to arrange where SD wants to eat dinner.) No wonder SD is so difficult. Who wants family meals or mac and cheese or occasional take out, who wants to eat cherrios, or whole grain toast and fruit when your mom gives you poptart?

The worst part is SD brings this food back from BM's or to her locker at school to eat whatever she wants. They have a la cart lunches too, so we have no idea what they are eating there. In middle school when I was growing up there was no a la cart (in high school we could get the meal or a salad bar choice, but were not allowed to buy cola from the machine at lunch time, or bring it to school.) The schools complain about the kids being in a lot more trouble, more hyper, but look at the carb loaded crap they're serving?

I don't know Cactus, it's really difficult to try to teach your kids any value for nutrition these days.

Peace, love, and red wine

and expect them to take you seriously as an adult and parent. Kids don't look at it that way.
We have the same situation here....BM tries so hard to be their "friend" because she doesn't want them to dislike her that they don't respect her and then BM wonders why she's has so much trouble getting them to mind day to day.
SK's eat out constantly when with BM, not many healthy food choices. In fact, when they go grocery shopping with me when they're here, they BEG for FRUITS and VEGETABLES from the store instead of junk food. Now as far as kids in general go....that's a first for me!!!

"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN"

but I am also their parent. And being a friend means caring enough to not harm them. I mean if our best friend was doing something physically harmful, we would step in and try to help.

You be a friend when you are hanging out. But as a parent you have to think of their health and well being. Unfortunately the "left out" or "occassional" parent usually tries to score brownie points with the kids to ease their own guilt for being a miserable parent. Keep in mind Cactus, that you and your husband will be home before you know it and can get the kids back on track. Yes you will be the bad guys for a little while, but as the kids mature, they will appreciate you more than their BM. And where you are at and what you are doing right now... you do not need to be consuming yourself with pop tarts and sugar. It is only temporary and kids are resilient. They will be okay. Unfortunately their school and energy is suffering. Has DH considered talking to the school and perhaps having a teacher or counselor talk to BM about the falling asleep and how important it is to have the kids kept on a similar schedule and diet? Just a thought. Stay strong.

"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay."

my BF is the same when the Skids come to our house he lets them stay up til stupid times in the morning playing and screaming

he says he enjoys it

i have no yet figured otu how to tell him (that he will understand any way ) thats its innapropiate for this so if any one has tips that would be great. he just doesnt understand that me missing out on my valuble sleep and my TV comp DVD ect is enjoyable for all

i did that this morning i dissagre even more with them doing this when i ahve to go for work he let them up til stupid o clock them this morning at 6 o clock i wasnt half a nosy bugger if felt great and makes my extreme fatige much more pleasurable to know that they will al be nakered at least a little bit hahaha

I have realized that being a friend to your kids means to them you are a peer. We're not. Their peers are immature and exercise poor judgment. But SD's BM does qualify on that level so she's SD's buddy.

I think you can't be a friend and disciplinarian in your kids' eyes. So until my kids are grown up living on their own and are in fact my peers, I prefer the title parent. I have enough of my own friends (who by my own definition don't always meet the peer criteria! BUT I don't have to teach them how to live in the grown up world so that's not my problem )

Peace, love, and red wine