disengagingSubmitted by ItAlmostWorked on Tue, 05/29/2012 - 7:35pm
So, it took me about two months to grieve the relationship I *thought* I had with YSD. Despite one short-lived wrinkle I crankily posted about here already, I have been focusing my energies on getting along better with DH, paying more attention to him and not complaining about YSD. I've let go (for the most part) of most of my $$ concerns because worrying wasn't helping the situation and the stuff I was worrying about is out of my control.
This disengaging business takes time and I am sure is not foolproof but DH and I have had the best week or so than we've had in awhile. I am sure I still have the capacity to be deeply hurt by YSD but thoughts of her rudeness and rejection are not invading my thoughts half as much as they used to. In fact they have barely I invaded my thoughts at all over the last week.
I thought our relationship (mine and YSD) would grow but the fact is, it won't. She is not, and has never been, interested in having a real relationship with me.
It worked well to think of her as an acquaintance I don't know well and what I do know, I don't like. Doing so offered some degree of distance and helped me be more ok with not caring what she thinks. She needs to disapprove of me to feel good about herself, even if it involves telling herself lies about me. How sad.