So, second post of the day today. I guess I'm just in a blogging mood. 
On a more serious note, though, I am really starting to worry about SS. The more I think about it, the more I'm seeing some scary signs and after my chat w/him this weekend, I'm starting to *really* worry...
After Bm called obsessively this weekend, SS mentioned that his best friend called and had wanted to hang out, and Ss looked really bummed. So Dh and I told SS if he ever wanted to bring a friend w/him, and his friends parents were okay w/it, we'd love to have him. You should have SEEN Ss's face...then he asked me "Wouldn't you be jealous?" And I'm thinking, what the heck is he talking about?? I say, no, why? Well, he tells me, that's why Mumma won't let me have people over. She gets jealous real easy. WHAT THE HECK??
Then Ss goes on about how he can't tell his mom about his gf (they're 10...I'm not too worried, lol), how he can't have friends over, etc. because the wonderful, flawless 'Mumma' will be jealous. So I said...well, how do you that? I'm sure that she'd be happy to let you have friends over. And he shakes his head violently no, and tells me that it's a 'house rule'. Does that seem weird to anyone else??
This is from the same woman who picks his clothes out every morning, cuts his meat, ties his shoes (or buys him the ones w/no laces) DESPITE him asking her to back off. He tells us he wants to be responsible, like he is at 'Daddy's house', but he doesn't want to hurt Mummas feelings. What kind of (excuse my french...) F'ed up person does that to their child?? Especially after them expressing the desire to pick thier own clothes, to cut their food, have friends over, etc. I am seriously starting to worry about what this woman is doing to him emotionally. 
Can we say 'control freak'?
It is weird, & it is wrong, but maybe if she's that bad it's good that his friends don't meet her or know her better than they already do.
Cajun Lady
anyone remember the movie Pyscho?
JK but women like her are raising a son who will be impossible to live with (when he is older!!) he will never have a true "friend" relationship cuz mumma will make it impossible for him.
get him to a therapist.
she is a control freak EEK!
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
My ss's Bm
is the same way. Dh has talked to her about it but she still treats ss like he is 4 or 5 and he's going to be 13 this summer!
Bm would never let ss have friends over when he was younger and lived with her and she still really doesn't. Now ss has no friends from school calling. He has major, major social issues. The only friend that calls or that ss goes over to his house is a boy from our neighborhood. That's because we encouraged it. I'm trying to get ss to call a "friend" from school and invite him over.
Ss claims to have all of these friends at school but then why doesn't anybody call or why doesn't he call anybody? It's not right!
I think ss should be back in therapy too but no one else seems to agree. I guess we shall see how things progress!!
Dawn
I've seen this type of thing before...
My two stepsons' BM had some similar behaviors. Basically she wanted them to totally need her and have her completely immeshed in their life. For example keeping them in diapers well past 3rd birthday, insisting she had to wipe their butts well past age 4... She wanted them to believe they were totally dependent on her. Then it dawned on me that after her and my DH's divorce, being their mom was her only significant role in life. She was nobody's girlfriend, nobody's wife, she was unemployed continuously so she had no job or career role. All she was was their mom. So she clung to that tenaciously. To the point of crippling them. She used to send them to visit us and there would be a little stuffed animal in their suitcase so they wouldn't "miss home" too much, I'm talking until they were 10 or 12. They were so embarrassed they would hide that stuffed animal. She would call and be upset that they didn't want to talk to her for very long - but they were running around playing and such with my biokids and really didn't want to talk long. When the oldest was 8, and this kid was a handful and hurting his little bro all the time, she sent the 8 yo to me to raise. When the younger one asked repeatedly to also live with us, she refused - I believe because once he also left, she was nothing to anybody - no role in life anymore.
Exactly, Dawn
And I believe it's the same issue w/our Bm. She's in a wheelchair, and has no job(though she's perfectly capable of having one), no boyfriend(isn't interested in looking, either), maybe 1-2 friends outside her family, no hobbies...her days -LITERALLY- consist of cruising online, playing computer games, watching Soap Operas, and watching the clock until Ss comes home.
It's not that I don't have sympathy for the woman. I know she's just trying to hold on to what she has, but anyone w/ANY common sense would see this behavior as extreme. When Dh and I finally got over night visitation rights when Ss was 7, he couldn't cut his meat or tie his shoes(despite living w/his able-bodied grandmother of 49). To this day it's a battle to get him to brush his hair on his own. But at our house, he picks out his own clothes, cuts his meat, ties his shoes, helps w/chores...all the things Bm 'complains' to Dh about in regards to differences between the households. Ss tells Bm he wants more responsibility, and how he's capable of taking care of himself, and she tells him 'not to grow up too fast. enjoy being a kid'. Weird.
Bms newest freak-like behavior is taking Ss10 to watch horror movies. Would you let a kid watch I Am Legend?? I certainly wouldn't...it's just another way to make him dependent on her and I find it sickening.
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