I called H and asked him where my radio was. The truth is, I knew SD took it.
He told me to look in her room and see if it was under her junk. I had already done that, it wasn't there.
Miraculously, when I got home, I went upstairs, and my radio was back in it's place. I hadn't said anything to SD...
Then H came home and said something about "see, you accused everyone and got all upset, and it was where it was supposed to be the whole time"
I said "Don't even try to tell me that you didn't call her and tell her to put it back. It wasn't there all week"
He SWEARS he didn't.
Well, I told him, I didn't accuse anyone, or get upset, I simply asked YOU if you knew where it was.
And something that's been bothering me much more. H bought SD a car a few months ago. She claimed she needed to live at home and drive a used car back and forth to school.
Well, she's dropped out of school, and the car just sits in the garage, no one drives it...Guess why!! Because SD has decided that she's going to drive MY car every time she goes out.
I'm very pissed about this- first of all, I make the payments, the car should be waiting in the garage for me whenever I want to use it.
Second of all, she doesn't ask me, she just takes the keys and leaves.
Third of all, when she does that, she doesn't even have the decency to leave the keys to her used car, so that if I need to drive somewhere I can.
No, I'm just stranded until she comes home.
And also, My car is a leased car. I have a limited number of miles to drive. I work about 40 minutes from home. The miles I drive to work are going to use almost the entire alloted amount as it is. And she uses my gas- so that I have to refill it. I used to use H's credit card, but he yelled at me for that. Although I'm sure he still lets SD use it for whatever she wants, because she has no job, and is still eating out constantly.
So yesterday, she told me that she was going to use my car to go to her mom's and be back in five minutes. Well, she was gone for three hours. H had to drive me to the Target and my son to a birthday party, because I had no car, and guess who we passed on the way? SD and her friend, parked, just sitting by the side of the road- what were they doing in there?
She's probably committing crimes in my car.
Then, after we got home, she grabbed my keys and told her dad she was going somewhere(in Hebrew) never asked me if she could use my car- just grabbed the keys.
I told H- tell her to use your car, or her own car....he told her, and she said "WHY"..............WTF?
WHY????????????????????it doesn't matter why, it's my car!
But he told her about the mileage.
Then she left in H's car- her own car just sitting in the garage.
Stupid jerk girl, can't stand to drive her own car because it isn't brand new.
Well, get a job, loser.
So I went to H and said, "She doesn't even ask me, she just takes the keys and goes- I don't like it"
He said "I don't know why, she can use her own car"
The good news is that yesterday, I put on my jeans, size 8(although they're really size 10, because that store runs big)- and they didn't fit at all, they were just hanging there.
So, today I'm wearing a pair that I bought two years ago, and they have never fit me. They've always been too small until now.
I'm not eating after 7 lately.
H is always so slow, he was wanting to eat dinner at like 9 last night, and wanted me to eat with him, but I wouldn't.
SD decided that she really likes the perfume H gave me- and asked if she could use it. I said yes and was just cringing, because she squirted herself at least 20 times, all over her huge body. Totally wasting my perfume.
ANd then this morning, she saw my underwear, and was going on about how cute they were.....please stay the hell away from my underwear....ew./
Her court date is this Wednesday. I hear H going on the phone to his ex about her pleading "not guilty"- he never ever discusses this stuff with me.
But I guess that means he wants her to plead not guilty.
Please let the just just nail these girls.
SD was not punished at home in the slightest bit. NOTHING happened to her.
SO it's got to be up to the court. They have to do something to show her she's not invincible....
I hope she pleads not guilty and that makes the judge angry and he'll be extra hard on her.
Get all the keys to your car.
And keep them on your person at all times. If she asks you to use your car, you say NO. Problem solved.
♥ Georgia ♥
"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)
I was doing that before, and
I was doing that before, and will have to start doing that again.
H and SD actually bitch at me when I lock my car. Because they think I'm hiding things in there.
I sometimes buy things like soda, etc, for me to use alone, and SD thinks she should have access to everything I have at all times.
I was keeping all my keys with me because of that. I am going to start again. I don't have to explain why I lock my own car.
This car is in H's name. If I have too many miles when it's time to go back to the dealer, he's going to be responsible for paying that.
It's in his best interest keeping SD out of there, too.
I don't mean any disrespect
with my next question Chava, but I wonder with all the continued drama that your H puts you and your son through and how he goes away on 'business trips' more than he is home, why are you still there?
Why can't you and your son go to a hotel when he is out of town? His kids ARE NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY! It seems to me that he goes on 'business trips' because he doesn't want to deal with HIS OWN BRATS! So why should you? You never get explanations about their actions so why do you CONTINUE to think they deserve an explanation from you? They don't listen to you anyway! They don't respect you or your son and your boundaries, obviously.
If it were me, I would just pack myself, my son, all of OUR stuff, put it into MY car and leave. Not a word. And if they see you doing this and ask what you're doing, just ignore them. Don't even look at them just go on your merry way. End of discussion.
You cannot be responsible for these brats. If something happens to the house, or to them, it's not your problem because YOU'RE NOT THERE AND YOU ARE NOT THEIR MOTHER OR THEIR BABYSITTER! If you're not there then there is no way in hell you can be held responsible!
I hope to hear in your next blog that you've left that irresponsible and selfish H of yours without any explanation and see how he likes it. He's not expecting you to go to court with the SD is he?
Nuff said. MJ24
Here, here, Mama!!
Ditto. And it's not to be rude, by any means, but I've read many of your blogs and my heart goes out to you. I've also read that someone around here as a frying pan that's excellent for solving problems!
Good luck to you!
No, I am not at all involved
No, I am not at all involved with her court process. They do not even discuss with me what's going on.
I cannot leave abruptly because I'm in the process of auditioning for grad schools. I just had one audition, and have another this Friday. I don't know whether or not I'll be accepted. If I am, then we will move into a student apartment. I can't leave now because I'd have to sign a lease, and don't know even what town I'll be in come August.
Unfortunately, my son wants to stay where we are. It isn't his choice, but he doesn't want to move. He likes the house and SD, and wants to stay here. But it isn't his choice, and he'll understand someday.
When I do go, I'm going to have to go as a surprise, because if I don't, SD will go through my things and steal whatever she wants before I can get it out of the house.
I have started ignoring their phone calls. H goes on business trips because it's his job to go around to different companies selling machines...the problem is that when he's home, he takes care of most things- but when he's not, their mother should be doing it, and that isn't happening, it's being put on me.
Okay, now I get it.
Now I understand why you're not able to just get up and go right now.
It sounds like you are definitely getting ready to get out, but the thing that's holding you back is the timing part of it. Perhaps I don't know all the details, but do you have any extended family that could help you by letting you stay with them until you figure out the grad school living arrangements?
I especially like the part where you said that you have to leave by surprise because if you don't, SD will rifle through your stuff and take what she wants...I definitely agree. For now, can you take your stuff and put it into the trunk and keep the keys to your car in your underwear? Or better yet, take her car keys and put your stuff in her trunk...you said she never uses her car? That way she'll never know where your stuff is! She'll never think to look there because she hates her car because it's not new, right? Or how about keeping your stuff at work and just taking stuff as you need them. While in the shower, lock the door to the bathroom and when you're done, just keep everything with you and/or in sight so there will be no mistaking that if she steals something, you'll see her do it!
I've rambled on long enough. Take what you will from this...I am rooting for you believe it or not...MJ24
put stuff in her car because
put stuff in her car because she never uses it
that's funny- would probably work
i have my own office at work, and so i have a filing cabinet full of jewelry, makeup, perfumes, etc. that i'll take to my new apt someday
no, i don't have family to help- i moved to a different state to be with H. I call my mom to talk, but don't ask for anything because she's told everyone that she's done taking care of kids, and I can respect that.
both of my parents are twice divorced, and my bio dad is a drug addict, so H really lured me with promise of a real family. Now, he says "things have changed."
so I'm just thinking really carefully and working things out slowly
Take a cue from my little cousin
Make a copy of the key to her car & use it when she's gone in yours. Don't tell anyone either, just do it.
Cajun Lady
this is a good idea, and it
this is a good idea, and it would be easy, since she's not using her car right now, she wouldn't notice if the key was missing awhile!
the annoying thing is, she and her dad both think that all of our car keys should always be out on the counter, and that the cars should always be unlocked- yet SD always locks hers and takes the keys with her to her room.
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