Graduation got me thinking...
My son is graduating this year and I am looking for a picture frame for his pics like I did with my dd. I ran into an old bf that also has 3 boys and his youngest is the same age as my son and he is graduating too.
So it got me thinking what if we had stayed together and both our boys were graduating at the same time; would he want me to do the same things for his kid that was doing for mine? Such as pics and putting them up and announcements and other things. He has full custody of his boys as their mom is in jail for fraud not once not twice but i think this is her 3rd or 4th. Now this guy i can tell you would expect me do the same things instead of doing it himself and I know me i would look at him and say you are his parent just like I am sons parent and I am doing this for him why can't you do for your kid instead of expecting someone else too?
Away I hadn;t thought of that b/c I assumed his kid he can do it right just like I am with mine as my kids dad is also in jail. So this lead me back to when ss16 will graduate will dh want me to do the same things for his kid that I do for my own while he sits and does nothing? But if he does the only thing I want to make sure of is that the frames match the others. lol. But that doesn't mean i want to take over and make sure ss16 does and has what he needs for graduation on our end. I'm sure yuck will do everything else and not include dh in that.
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I would buy an extra frame
I would buy an extra frame and put it away for SS16. As for the rest, it will depend on DH's behavior. In my case, my DH expected me to do everything. Best of luck.
Mazzy i do do things for the
Mazzy i do do things for the skids a lot but it is always my idea and I want too. Since i ran into this guy it got me thinking about what it would be like if we had stayed together and I know that he would expect me to do things and we would fight over it.
i do plan on getting a frame for the skids when they graduate but i don't really want to do more. Main reason is b/c i know yuck will not let anyone else do anything and hog the whole thing and expect dh to just fork over money and not be involved.
I will also have a little chat with dh and let him know that if yuck won't involve him in the graduation things then he won;t pay. I guarantee she will not let him be involved but then turn around and tell everyone that will listen what a dead beat he is for not helping. :sick:
This is my dilema as well,
This is my dilema as well, but in reverse kind of. We have full custody if the skids, but they are much older than BS.
So I often wonder if Dh will be mad if I want to do more for BSs than he/we/i did for the steps when it comes to milestone type things. He doesn't ever take charge, so it really falls on me.
Do I have to do more than I would want to for SS and SD now, just so I can do the same guilt free in 7 years when BS is that old?
But I second just gettin g
But I second just gettin g the extra frame now. Save yourself the headache in two years, cause you know Dh will want a picture of his son as well, and he's not going to go all over town to find a matching frame.
But other than that, is say it all depends on your relatonship as to how much effort you put in.
I think this is much ado
I think this is much ado about nothing. Buy the extra frame.
I think most are not
I think most are not understanding that I will buy the stupid frame and it is not about the freaking frame... :?
Yes this is what I was
Yes this is what I was talking about. I planned and paid for a huge party for my dd and helped her all her graduation things as i am for my son. but them when skids graduate and if my dh expects me to plan and put together anything he has another thing coming. Yuck and her family will make sure they have an over the top party and way more then they need when graduating that I really don't want to make a huge deal about anything. But you can bet that yuck will want dh to pay for and not be involved.
i will make sure dh understands that if he is not involved he shouldn't pay. If he wants to do anything for his kids he can but he shouldn't pay for crap for yuck if she doesn;t want him involved. I know her well enough to know that she will refuse to let dh help with anything but still expect him to pay and it will be over and beyond what we can afford. But then turn around and tell everyone that he is a dead beat. All the while she refuses to get a job and so she is not footing the bill for shit and uses CS so we really are paying for everything away.
If his mom is going to do
If his mom is going to do this stuff for him, you are home free. Buy him a grad gift and call it a day. just go to graduation, let him have his party with his mom, and you guys do dinner or something.