This is not a surprise.
I've been telling H for a long time that she has a problem with taking things that don't belong to her. He refused to admit that. She literally stole several things from me, and when I told him, he said sarcastically "sure"....as if I was lying.
When I told him that everytime she sees something she wants, she just takes it, he said "that's normal"....I said "it isn't normal, it's stealing"
Well, she stopped hanging around with that boyfriend after she caught him cheating, and started hanging around with this girl...H said "I don't like her hanging around with that girl all the time"...I said that it was better she hang around with that girl than who she was hanging around before, and he agreed. Although he didn't know that she's been dating this really bad guy and keeping it a secret for a long time.
Well, she started coming home with a lot of new outfits. At first, she said that they had belonged to the girl, and the girl was giving them to her. But then she started coming with things that looked Brand New, and never worn before. And expensive stuff, too.
I assumed that H had given her permission to go shopping and didn't tell me about it. I didn't care, because she was finally staying out of my stuff.
Well, last night she called and told me, "I'm in the back of a police car"...she said that the cops were accusing her of stealing, but she didn't take anything. She kept screaming that she didn't take anything.
I didn't believe that for a second.
Then she asked me to come to the police station, but I didn't want to.
Then she said she was going to call her dad.
So, about 40 minutes later, H called me and said "If SD calls you with this bullshit and asks you to go there, you don't go. Let her mother deal with it."
He told me "I told you that I didn't like her hanging around that girl, but you said it's better than who she was with before"....I said "so now you're blaming this on me?"
He said, no, of course not, I had nothing to do with it....I told him, "You don't know who she was hanging around with before, I do- I know things that you don't, and she tells me things that she doesn't tell you, so based on that, I did feel it was better she was with that girl, and you don't even know who I was comparing that to".....I told him that it wasn't all this girls fault, that they've been doing it together, I've seen a lot of new stuff in the house....he said "SD is no saint"....This is as close as he will get to admitting to me that she was at fault...
So anyway, he told me that he told her mother to go, and that her mother would have to deal with it, and that I had a big weekend ahead of me, and just to concentrate on that and not let this situation distract me.
SO I just went home to practice. But before I did that, I went into SD's room. I found one shirt of mine that I took back, but I also found about ten brand new items that I'd never seen before. Really nice, expensive looking, brand new stuff. I can tell she's been shoplifting for awhile.
So, I went to practice, and then SD came home and was crying- she said that she stole two pairs of underwear.
She said that the other girl stole an expensive bra. They went to one store and stole two pairs of jeans, and then to the store next door and stole the underwear...so when they got back to the girl's house, the police were waiting. One of the stores had taken the license plate number as they left, and they traced it to the girl's house.
They went to jail and were booked in and fingerprinted, mugshot, everything.
Then the parents bailed them out.
SD said her mom didn't blow up at her because she knew she already felt bad enough. She told me that H called her and told her she's a liar and a thief and a disappointment and that she's not going anywhere and she's grounded for a month, and he's going to talk to parents every time she says she's going anywhere....sure. whatever...like he'll really do that.
She said he was screaming at her.
She asked me if I was disappointed in her- I just said "well, what do you think?"
then she said that she was going to spend the night at the school. She always claims that her old roomate in the dorms never got a new roomate, so she can just stay in her old room when she wants to. lie.
well, so anyway, she called someone and said "I got arrested, I stole some underwear, are you mad?" I could tell she was talking to that boyfriend who she said she broke up with. She was wearing the diamond ring she said she gave back to him. She put on this lingerie thing and was checking herself out in the mirror, then she put pj's on over it and left.
She said that now she has to go to court. And her parents have to pay a lawyer. And they were both charged. So probably she'll get probation and community service. I hope the judge tries to make an example of them and makes them spend a couple nights in jail. I want her to learn that her parents can't get her out of everything.
I guess now her parents have to learn that, too.
I know this is bad, but yeah!!
This girl has had this coming to her for a Loooooong time. I really hope that they make an example of her too!
I suggest you start watching that show Jail or taping it & watching it around the princess.
It's pretty entertaining on it's own. I get a kick out of it because my mom works as a nurse in a jail and get to hear stories from her.
I think I speak for the group when I say, I hope your audition goes well & you get away from these lunatics.
I'd start blasting the theme
I'd start blasting the theme song from "COPS" at about 6 am every morning right outside her bedroom door.
♥ Georgia ♥
"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)
OMG Chava
I would be sitting back trying to keep from laughing.
I would tell her sorry honey I don't have an orange jumpsuit in my closet for this special moment in your life. he hehe Tell her orange is a great color for her!!!
You see what goes around comes around and this time it came around and kicked SD and DH in the ass!!!
"Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt"
OMG.. that is FABULOUS!!!
OMG.. that is FABULOUS!!! Maybe now she will grow up, or maybe the PARENTS will grow up..
Next your going to hear how poor little sd was FRAMED!!! lol
Too much!
Looks good on her!
Too funny
. I'm not one to laugh at the expense of others, but when they really deserve it, it is funny. How do you keep your self from smiling from ear to ear?! I wonder how far she will go for getting sympathy?
Ain't Life a BITCH that way...LOL
Ain't Life a BITCH that way...LOL...She Finally got what She had coming, maybe this will get through Her head...
Steve
Kids are the Best and Worst Things We can do to Ourselves. When We have nothing else worth living for, We'll go on, for Them, but Oh How We Miss Our Freedom...LOL
haha
these responses just really cracked me up! you guys are right, this is hilarious! at first i wasn't laughing because i thought it was going to mean i had to go waste my time at the police station, but seriously.....that stupid jerk of an H can just go an blame anybody he wants, but it's not going to keep SD's name out of the crime log in the paper! I should blow it up into a poster and put it up all over town, to embarrass the hell out of him, because I myself tried to warn him so many times that she steals and probably even told him wait until she ends up in jail! But no, he couldn't stand to punish his precious daughter, so now the police have to do it for him!
I guess my H thought it was ok to let SD steal anything from anyone, but the police don't agree with him!!! haha
she said she was so nervous in the interrogation room that she had to go throw up and the cops started laughing at her
how old?
sorry i have been out of the loop, how old is the thief?
a "big bag"
i forgot to mention, whenever H goes to italy, he buys knock-off purses, like fake gucci, and whatever for about 10 euros-
so both SD and her friend asked him to bring them back a bag, they both asked for a "big bag"............and H said "why do they want big bags, is that what's in style now?"
NOW WE KNOW WHY- they wanted BIG bags to fit lots of STOLEN stuff in!
amazing
isnt it amazing how some of these dads will blame everyone else but the person the blame belongs to?
My FH bs was caught smoking on public property (he is only 17) and the officer wrote him a ticket for it. So BS calls FH and bitches about the officer and FH agrees. he gets off the phone and starts to tell me that this stupid cop and I was like wait wait, you are bad mouthing the cop who was doing his job and NOT your son who should NOT have been smoking to begin with?? know what I get, a mumble and he walks away from me..
incredible.
these dads (not all dads mind you) will do just about anything to their little angels believing they live in "paradise"
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
yeah, and it's too
yeah, and it's too bad...because they don't do their kids any favors by doing that. once they're legal adults, they can't protect them from the law, and that's after they've taught the kids that they're the exeption to all the rules..
even worse
they constantly bail them out....dont make them "pay" for their mistakes.
Just watch an episode of intervention...it is a scary indigation of what could happen to the "golden" kids.
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
she's 18- so she'll have
she's 18- so she'll have this on her permanent record..
The reason that this is so funny is that she's been stealing things from me for a very long time.
when she went to college, she took 3/4 of my wardrobe with her. so i bought some new things, hid them, and when she found out, she took most of it, stuffed it into a bag, and locked it in her car. I found about 15 of my shirts stuffed into a bag which was hidden in her closet. I bought some new things on vacation, and never even got a chance to wear them. she stole almost everything I had, but whenever I tried to talk to my H about it and get him to make her stop, he got mad at ME- he refused to believe me that she would steal, said it was normal, and that I should talk to her about it.
I told him for months that she has a problem taking things that aren't hers, and that he needs to put a stop to it, but he refused.
We got in many many fights about her taking my stuff, and he even called me a liar when I told him that I had to go into her room and her car at night to steal back the clothes she took from me.
He said "sure"....sarcastically, didn't believe me, treated me like the bad guy, and treated me like crap for accusing his daughter.
Now she's been caught shoplifting clothes, and it serves both of them right.
Seriously.. this was the
Seriously.. this was the wake up call that he and she both needed.
My dh is always making excuses for sd9.. I keep telling him that if she cant follow the rules of the house, how is she going to follow society's rules.. That he cant get her out of stuff later in life, so why do it now.. that he needs to teach her NOW that there are rules for a reason and that if you break a rule then you own that punishment.. Not explain her way out of it for HER!
I hope that your DH will
I hope that your DH will wise up about this, because you're right. Some of these kids grow up never being forced to follow rules and they don't even accept that they have to behave in a certain way to have a decent life.
It's bad for the kids. SD is doing alot of seriously screwed up things now because she was taught her whole life that the rules don't apply to her, and now that she's 18, when she gets caught, her dad can't fix it. She has former friends, the kids of friends of my H, who are getting 4.0s in college and doing great things, in no trouble..and these are the kids whose parents always said that he was spoiling SD and her brother. Now he has to hear about all their achievements while his daughter is getting picked up by the cops, and even if he won't admit it to me, he's got to see that. He always called me and everyone who said he was wrong "jealous" of the relationship he had with his kids...we weren't jealous, we were trying to warn him, but he was much too stubborn.
LOL!!! Good, I'm glad she
LOL!!! Good, I'm glad she got caught. Honestly, could this all be a cry for help from her? I think the girl is desperate for her father to act like a parent.
I'm stunned he made her mother go get her out of jail. I would have thought his ex was too frail and sensitive for that type of thing.
This is a good point, and it
This is a good point, and it ties in with something she said to me last night- she asked "are you disappointed in me?"
And I know she wanted to be told yes.
I'm very shocked that the mother had to go do that as well. I really thought they would try to keep her from finding out so that she wouldn't flip out.
She can handle anything just like everyone else, she just pretends she can't so that she won't have to.
I'm glad she got caught also.
Yes...I got that same
Yes...I got that same feeling when I read in your post where she said, "Are you disappointed in me..." It's like she WANTS someone to go off on her, scream at her, ground her, punish her, DISCIPLINE her...Of course it should be her father and not you. I really think this girl has wanted discipline and boundaries all along, and has never gotten them, and keeps upping her bad behavior. It's not an excuse for what she did. Just another reason why her father needs to do something.
He really failed big time.
He really failed big time. It's sad. When he first learned she was stealing from others, he should have taken that opportunity to shame her and embarrass her, and told her that it's wrong to take what is not yours. If he would have done that, she may have never stolen from a store.
I think that next she's going to get pregnant.
I got chills!
"SD said her mom didn't blow up at her because she knew she already felt bad enough."
This gave me chills. I don't know if you recall my post about knives, but my SD took a knife to her daycare (enrolled by BM) and was kicked out (first knife offense but there were other offenses we don't know about.) Anyway, when we FINALLY found out because SD and BM conspired to lie about why she suddenly switched daycare facilities, we sat SD down to talk about it. I asked what her consequences were at BM's for this action.
SD, "None...she's just worried about me."
Ummm....WHAT?
So I said, "So are we. That's why you WILL have consequences."
A year later I found a journal in which SD was trashing everyone in her life (schoolmates, teachers, us, BM's family etc) it was just filled front to back with negative rude comments about everyone around her. In one paragraph, she was evidently talking with a girl from her old daycare. The paragraph was, "I can't believe I'm sitting here talking with her. She's still friend's with ______, and that girl got me kicked out of (Daycare)."
Ummmm....NO. YOU got you kicked out of daycare.
That's what happens when a parent doesn't make a child take any responsibility for their actions. The kid believes they did nothing wrong.
Anyway...Your SD is on a dangerous road. Once again this was something that ex-friend of mine did. I wouldn't find it surprising. If a child has no conscious regarding taking things from people they care about, then why wouldn't they take from a store?
Peace, love, and red wine
that really scares me- that
that really scares me- that comment about "that girl got me kicked out of daycare."
reminds me of SD- we got in a fight one day, because she was demanding to know what i was talking to her dad about on the phone, and when i wouldn't tell her, she kept following and pressing me, very rudely, and I told her to back off, but she kept following me and finally, I started swearing at her. Well, when her dad got involved(on her side, as always) she started screaming and hitting him. Later she told me "YOU MADE ME HIT MY DAD"
I think your SD
Needs therapy. An unbiased person to help her learn to control her behavior and improve her ability to relate to others. She may not do so willingly unfortunately. That's why we are still going without SD to see her child psychologist. We want that tie to stay open. My hope is that SD will seek therapy as an adult if she needs it. The Dr told us that by us continuing to go we are at least modeling for SD that therapy is ok, no matter what BM says about it being for freaks only.
Peace, love, and red wine
I believe that she does
I believe that she does also.
I'm very disappointed in H because a few months ago, SD spent a few days in a mental facility. I sincerely believe that she faked the breakdown, because as soon as she found out they were admitting her, she started behaving normally again. The doctor and psychologist also noticed and commented on this.
Regardless, anyone who has been in a mental hospital, should spend some time in outpatient therapy afterward.
And H went, got her out of the hospital, and never made her go to a therapist again.
What he is, is lazy, he wants the easy way out....whatever goes on with the kids, he deals with by making them happy again, temporarily, long enough to give him some peace. If something happens with me, he deals with it through threats, to scare me into behaving the way he and the kids want me to. Getting to the core of the problem is just too much work for him.
And it's too bad that BM says therapy is for freaks...the world is so screwed up, anyone can have a reason to go to therapy. I went, just to be validated that what was going on with my "family" wasn't right.
I'm still reading that book
I did a review on it, called In The Shelter of Each Other- Rebuilding Our Families, by Mary Pipher who is a therapist. She says the main thing wrong with therapy in our country is that the people that go aren't those who most need the therapy, but rather those who need help DEALING with those who need therapy. Talk about validation. I am really into this book!
Peace, love, and red wine
the dad needs help too
like I said in an earlier post he is an enabler just like the BM ..
they may not like what their child is doing but they want that child to still LOVE them so they make excuses for their behavior, INTERVENTION is a great show although it is the extreme of what we are talking about it ties with all the issues these guilty dads and whacho BM are causing with their "angels"
Dad and Daughter need counseling.
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
I think you're right, he has
I think you're right, he has a problem. part of this, in my opinion, is that the kids are adopted, so he thinks he has to be more loving to them or something...he thinks he has to be easier on them and try harder to convince them that he loves them, i don't know....and he wants to make sure they think he's the best dad in the world.
he's so sensitive about his parenting that he turns against me whenever i criticize it....and i've told him he was a failure as a father before.
also, he was supposed to have ss in counseling. he went a few times and i went with H once. the counselor told us that we needed to come in, both of us, and ss...H never followed through on it.
He never follows through on this counseling stuff. Everytime something goes wrong, he buys something, makes a treat, turns on me to satisfy the kids, whatever short term thing to make temporary quiet.
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