DH and I have been married 28 years, 2 BS's - a SD & SS for me (his). DH had a massive heart attack a couple years ago - almost lost him. We had wills done beforehand - standard wills: if he dies I get everything; if I die he gets everything. If we both go at the same time the 4 kids split his life policy evenly, our 2 split mine and then our 2 get the rest of the estate. It's spelled out very clearly and each party has been apprised several times.
My concern, at a recent family funeral, out of state, as DH talked about life & death issues, SD said she'll be happy as long as DH leaves her enough to pay off all her bills. (Uh - no mention about how sad it would be if he passed on.) SD and SS do not keep in touch with us, nor do they visit. We see SD at family funerals - to which she brings her BM! They do not want to have anything else to do with us - no calls, cards or gifts for holidays - EVER, although we do all of that for them, their spouses and grandchildren.
My worry is if something happens to DH can they contest the will? I stayed home to raise our children and when the youngest got out of school DH had his heart attack, so I stayed home to do all his computer work to keep his job - and health - going strong. If he is gone I will need what is left to start over - there isn't enough to fight a legal battle.
Need attorney to answer?
You really should consult one in your state to be certain . . . I think since you are the spouse you get the entire insurance policy, but unless your name is also on any other property they may have some claim to what is in his name only. Check now to make sure!
It is tempting to cut these charmers out isn't it? I will see how my SD turns out but if she is like this, I would talk to DH about a new will.
"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil
I agree with Most Evil...
about consulting an attorney. I would highly suggest finding an attorney that deals with probate court on a regular basis.
Currently in my state you can have assets, such as a home, deeded in both yours and your DH's names with a 'right of survivorship' clause included. This is if you or your DH die then the asset (aka home) will automatically be transferred into the other parties sole name. This, as far as I am aware, is not contestable in probate court.
If you feel like your SKids will try to take you to the cleaners then I suggest, if your DH agrees to it, that all assets/bank accounts/vehicles/etc be put solely in your name. This would stop any interference from SKids when DH dies. However, this would also mean that you are financially obligated if any liens or judgements are put against the assets. If your home still has a mortgage on it then I would suggest leaving the mortgage in your husband's name but him adding you to the deed.
I am so sorry that you guys have to think about depressing issues, such as the death of your spouse.
Sometimes you have to test the limits to show you're not a doormat.
talk to an attorney
I deal with real estate - its my job and many older couples are changing thier deeds to right of surviorship. When my mother passed, she did not do this and the house actually belonged to my disabled sister who still lived at home. She is mentally challenged - 30 with the mental abilities of a 12 year old. She is high functioning but thats another story. My mother's will could not be located or her husband hid it - which I would not put passed him. Long story short, my sister was told she had to sign the house over to him so she could still live there. Crazy!
Consult an attorney.
Legally Incapacitated?
Could you not have your sister deemed as mentally incompetent over such matters as signing the house over? Is your mother's husband the gaurdian over your sister? I guess it just seems like something could be done since your sister is mentally challenged.
"Sometimes you have to test the limits to show you're not a doormat."
my mom tried
My mom was working on all of that before she passed. She was supposed to give the information to me when it was all said and done so I could take care of my sister if mother passed. No mother's husband is not my sister's guardian. He can barely take care of himself and I blame him in part for my mothers early dimise.
My sister came to live with me last year and I was working on all that too but she could not remember the names or places of where she went to be evaluted so it made it harder to get all the stuff needed to get guardianship over her. She ran off with a "carnie" and I have not heard from her in almost a year. No idea if she is dead or alive.
I miss her very much!
Sorry
Aw, kiddo, I am so sorry. I'm sure it was horrible enough to lose your mother but then to 'lose' your sister soon after.
I hope someday soon you will have your sister back in your life.
Take care.
*Hugs*
"Sometimes you have to test the limits to show you're not a doormat."
Sorry
Aw, kiddo, I am so sorry. I'm sure it was horrible enough to lose your mother but then to 'lose' your sister soon after.
I hope someday soon you will have your sister back in your life.
Take care.
*Hugs*
"Sometimes you have to test the limits to show you're not a doormat."
BF has an old will with
BM as beneficiary and kids of course. He wants to change it to me being the guardian of anything he has (he has nothing that's why he is living in my house; the divorce bankrupted him) to divide amongst his ungrateful, lying to child protective authorities snot nose brats.
He often talks about:
1. getting married to me (NO FRIGGIN WAY; I WILL NOT BE LEGALLY TIED DOWN TO A MAN WITH 3 CHILDREN, THE YOUNGEST OF WHOM WILL NOT TURN 21 UNTIL THE YEAR 2024!!!!)
2. putting his name on the deed of MY house (once again NO FRIGGIN WAY; i will not have it so that BM comes after my house as an asset in the event that he cannot pay the massive amount of CS he is paying now)
Even the vehicles are in my name only to avoid such an event.
Frankly, in the event of his untimely demise (don't get me wrong here, i love HIM dearly not his ex-wife and not his kids; i can't STAND them) I do not want to have any more "ties" to the BM and the skids.
Should he pass on prematurely, i want that to be the END of it. NO dealings with skids or BM. I would NEVER WANT TO SEE THEIR HORRID FACES AGAIN!!!! Especially not when they are putting their fangs into my wallet as the final, post mortem blow. I'm sure they will act like the other blogger here whose adult skids ignore she and her DH and they will side with BM. They have already made their loyalties known over and over again to the detrement of their father.
Interesting topic. Paranoid
Interesting topic. Paranoid me. I had a will done 2 weeks after marriage leaving everything to my BD (whose 21 years old). I was so afraid if I left anything to DH his ex would find a way (if we died together) to take my BD's share for the younger swins, which she'd blow on drugs/gambling. She will not get one nickel of my money. I felt guilty writing him out but my daughter depends 100% on me past/present/future. One thing I suggest was putting my name on the house deed b.c. I don't want any problem staying here if you die & I promised his twins welcomed to live too if they want. Rather be safe than sorry with money I saved for daughter's college.
Post new comment