Step Talk

I'm the SM and I pay for the SD's dental (as the BF was ordered to pay for dental but they are actually on my plan).

BM pays for their medical.

Anything not covered is paid half by both parents.

For ours custody is 50% legal and 50% physical. BM makes over $20,000/year more than BF. No support is ordered, each pays their own childcare. BM is required to cover kids on insurance and there is a yearly quota that she has to pay out of pocket before BF is required step in and split costs 50/50.

but dh and bm have joint physical custody and we do not have to pay child support.

And we have the children 10 months out of the year. The BM is getting away with paying only a measly CS.

"Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt"

but maybe not everything. We pay medical, dental, daycare, and a pretty decent amount of child support.

The non-covered expenses are split 60/40 (DH/BM) and since it's DH's insurance plan, BM simply has the Dr.'s office bill DH the entire amount and it's like pulling teeth for her to reimburse it. Fun, Fun, Fun....

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

My DH is ordered to provide medical and dental insurance, plus pay 33% of all medical and dental bills not covered by insurance after BM pays the first hundred per year. However, if BM uses our insurance, then we will see the EOBs. We will have access to information that she does not want us to have, such as where they go to the doctor, what kinds of treatments they've had, what kinds of meds they are on and how much she pays for their medical care. So to keep us in the dark, she covers them on her own insurance and doesn't use ours, even though DH is ordered to provide it. It doesn't cost us anything extra to have the kids on it, as we get the family plan anyway, so it's no big deal to us.

In both cases the Dad pays no matter who has custody.

My ex has always paid. I think originally I was supposed to, but due to it being family coverage for him, his skids and wife that would hardly be fair. Our sons go to the Dr so infrequently that he usually pays the VERY small co-pay too. We've never really talked about it. I paid more co-pays when they were little- every time I took them and it was usually me that did anyway.

DH has always paid for insurance for SD, when they had fifty-fifty and now that we have full custody.

Personally, I think this is an obvious bias with the family court system. It can bring problems too, because some BM's will take the child to the Dr constantly to stick their ex with the bill, OR some people like BM or another BF I know, simply refuse to pay their portion and stick it to the parent who has custody, who has to pay in order to continue to have their child treated when necessary.

This is a no-win situation much of the time.

Peace, love, and red wine

As custodial step-mother, I have my husband and stepdaughter on my health insurance and dental plans. BM has SD every other Saturday-Sunday, and pay no child support.

I try not to think about this too often because it makes me feel pretty damn resentful when I hear about how freaking wonderful BM is.

I am the custodial step-mother, I have my husband and two step-daughters on my insurance now for 11 years.

And it burns me to when the girls say they want to go live with BM, when she has not talked or seen them in over 13 years.

I mean, we have family coverage, anyway, and it doesn't cost us anything extra to have the skids on it. BM also has family coverage through her job, so it doesn't cost HER anything extra to also insure the kids. Right now, the skids have coverage through their mother, plus DH's employer and they're still covered under Tricare, since DH is retired military. They are well-covered, but BM only uses hers so that DH won't know who/when/where/why as to their medical treatment. She also doesn't send him the bills for him to pay his share because she doesn't want him to have this info. As far as who should be ordered to pay for it, I don't think it matters, as long as the amount is considered part of the total child support amount.

♥ Georgia ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)

My exhusband has good insurance, and I had none through my job. So, my child support amount is deducted to reflect me paying part of my son's health insurance. In fact...while we were divorcing, he carried me on his insurance, and I paid for part of that as well. Now that I'm off of it, my CS should have changed...I buy my own health insurance privately, but the amount of child support I receive still reflects me paying for part of my son's and part of my own insurance that I used to have. I really don't care, though.

I pay the co-pays which are part of the first $250 that I'm responsible for.

So no one pays anything, ever. This is important to remember when BM tries to get money from us by claiming all of these bogus out-of-pocket medical expenses. They are supposed to split them 50/50 but since he has state insurance, there ARE no out-of-pocket expenses except OTC medications.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

BM is claiming her premium for baby is like 518 per month. Without him its like 400 per month for just her. My beef is that before the divorce BM had BF on her insurance and in the divorce BM asked BF to reimburse her for his premuims - 160 per month. This was in October 2007 and baby was born in November 2007 after BF was taken off BM's insurance. The provider is the same and BM reupped in May 2007. So far, we have no proof to which plan BM is on so we have no idea what the real cost is after employer pays their portion. We were only given a genaric memo in regards to the whole costs broken down by tier. Of course, BM used the most expensive plan, whether she is on it or not we don't know. We are sending her a letter asking for proof of coverage, plan and her cost like a check stub.

I can tell I am not the only one who gets EOBs in the mail, and then a few weeks later a bill. We are currently receiving bills for a surgery procedure SS had done, which BM signed for. I am on my way to my Bachelor's in Paralegal Studies and I am here to tell everyone that it doesn't matter what your court order says!! If someone takes a child to the Dr, they are LEGALLY responsible for the cost! They can write whatever they want on the papers, and put down Santa Claus as the Gaurantor! It will never change the fact that they took the child to receive services and then thought someone else should and would foot the bill just because they put their name down as the gaurantor. I don't pay these bills or ask for re-imbuirsement. I let them pile up, and then send them and the court order to all the credit bureaus who are legally forced to remove any deroggatory marks due to these kinds of stupid stupid actions!! I am so sick of BM's and anyone else who does this!! Get a grip-if you take the child to the appt you better be financially prepared-if you cant afford it dont take them!!

In our situation we pay for everything. We have custody, BM rarely sees them and we haven't recieved a penny from her.

My SD - As a minor, well as the last three years of HS minor, my DH paid her medical, sometimes. Prior to that - Don't think there was anything. Now that she is living with us, she is a major (or legal adult, whichever) - she must work, we require her to have health insurance, and she must go to the dentist. I found out, she hadn't been to the dentist in over ten years. she is 20. that is a sin. and unaaceptable...

My DH is suppose to have medical on them but the BM also had medicade on them in North Carolina. Since my husband's insurance cost so much the courts let him drop coverage on the girls, since the state had them covered.

Now that they live with us we are in the process of getting custady and as soon as we have papers proving it they will go on my husband's insurance again.

Don't fear the thorns among the Roses, but be greatful for the Roses among the thorns

Carry health insurance on my stepdaughter, my husband did but I carry him as well since he is self employed now. The mom pays for dental thru her work and carried vision, but I carry vision and it was suppose to be dental too but somehow Insurance company screwed all that up. O'well. And out of pocket, depends, since SD lives in our home, her mom pays for her Birth Control, I payed for her prescription while she was sick all that so it just kinda works out. We discuss alot first though. (me and BM)
We don't get support, either... Kinda crazy, I pay a lot a month for SD, car insurance, health insurance, all that and the kid hates me.

Happy
"live life to its fullest everyday"

if a parent has a plan available they must secure it for the kids.
if both parents have one, then the parent with the earlier birthday is the first payor and the other parent is the second payor. the plans co-ordinate with each other.
for any non covered expenses that are considered "essential they split it"
in our case, dad has a plan and i (sm have a plan) mom doesent altho one is available to her, she chooses not to. dads job changed making me sm the only one covering the kids. i refused them on my plan until mom gets them on hers, as its her choice not to cover them and she as one of the bio parents should cover it before me as the sm.
and for the record i call myself sm but we are not married just shacked up for the last 4 years.

Madison
"change occurs within"

My H has both SDs on his health insurance and dental insurance, plus BM bills us fifty percent everytime they go to the doctor, need meds, etc.(Which is alot)those kids hardly ever stay well!

Bio-mom hasn't paid child support in three years, and my husband makes 6 figures and has great health coverage so we don't really worry about it. That's not to say the court won't order her to pay if we ever end up going, but her mental state is fragile and we just let it alone for now.

I find it curious that at this date 39% expect the non-custodial dad to pay, but only 1% expect the non-custodial Mom to pay. Considering how many people constantly post about what a deadbeat the BM is and how many are angry that their husbands have to pay even if they don't have the kids full-time...doesn't compute.

~SM

Bygones. Move on. Leave it behind. Let go. Make lemonade out of lemons. Walk it off. Laugh instead. Change what you can, accept what you can't.

How many other ways can one say, "Life is too short!"

Everyone's (but ex-wife) on my policy. I'm the SM. Dental and medical per their divorce agreement. And ex wouldn't take them to dentist appt. told them to tell Dad to use his time for this b.s., I've got other stuff to do. Same for being sick. Wait & have Dad take ya to Dr, even though she's unemployed. I married DH before his coverage ended so new coverage would be in place for them - someday I need to be thanked esp. since my deduction tripled. I could have waited to marry DH but eloped so they'd have coverages and a real home environment.

Of course the Dad pays for everything!!! It's common knowledge - birth mothers can cheat on their spouses, sleep with their husband's friends, be horrible mothers, set out to financially ruin the man & threaten him with death and STILL get custody of the kids, child support and maybe alimony!!!! Go women's lib!!

As a stepmother, I admit that I am jealous of my husbands ex. She is beautiful, much better body than mine, and had their kids. He has already admitted that he still loves her. He says he left her because she didn't want to have sex since she knew he was cheating. Now, I am pregnant and afraid that since I don't have as much desire for sex and don't look as desirable , that he'll leave me too. I am very young and he is 25 years older. He is very attractive but not trustworthy. His ex tried to get full custody of their kids. I pushed for him to keep his noncustodial status, but now I know he was only wanting the kids so he can still see her too. How can I get over this extreme jealousy. He will leave me for her, I know he will. I got our cell phone itemized statement and he talked to her everyday, sometimes three times a day for the last month. I put a stop to that. I won't even let him talk to his kids anymore. He can only speak to them when they are with us every other weekend. Advice from other jealous moms/new wives.

BM is trying to take BF, now my husband, to court to raise CS and require he provide health insurance. We do not have custody, only visitation. They were never married. She didn't put BF on birth certificate after she was court ordered to do so. My husband pays his CS every month. She has 2 kids by 2 men and she has no job. She has my step son on CHIP which means he has NO medical costs. We are insured through my work and my plan does not cover non-custodial step children. Now she is moving the both kids 2 hours away with her new internet boyfriend. The situation is so frustrating because the court sees a man who wouldn't marry her. but they don't see her for who she really is. Any advice?